


Luigi's Mansion 3 Except King Boo is Seducing Luigi and Eventually They Will Have Sex and King Boo Will Be a Boo During the Sex

by JoyHeart



Category: Luigi's Mansion (Video Games), Super Mario Bros. (Video Games)
Genre: Actually changed my mind helen comes back, Also i think shes angry, Angst, Crushes, Deception, Enemies to Lovers, Except luigi, F/M, Fuck im a hypocrit damn shit oh no, Fucking the canon form, Ghost Sex, I am warning you, Illusions, Luigi is Gay, M/M, Masturbation, No cowards in this house, Romance, Seduction, Slow Burn, Smug shrug emoji, also i axed helen gravely, but he will not stay in it, but im weird idk, i hate the jealous woman trope and i wanted more scenes for human king boo to wander around so, if i was reading it would be a promise, king boo has a human form, king boo is ooc i know i just did what i wanted fuck it, listen shes fine but like, or promising you, surprise bitch, there will eventually be sex involving luigi and king boo as a boo, whoops goodbye, whoops i guess theres a plot now
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-21
Updated: 2020-05-18
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:27:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 82,996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23252431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JoyHeart/pseuds/JoyHeart
Summary: Howdy gang. I beat Luigi's Mansion 3 already what with getting laid off work due to, you know, the thing, so as you do, I immediately went to find some sweet sweet explicit Luigi x King Boo fanfic. Y'all have disappointed me, gang. There just ain't enough on this website. So here we are, trying to fix a problem I cannot understand.I'll be real with y'all too, I'm not here to be super creative. Herein you will find essentially Luigi's Mansion 3 but full of tropey villain-crushing-on-the-hero-and-seducing-him scenes, accumulating into a spicy night in the Master Suite where King Boo will shed his human form and get down and dirty as the massive long tongued Boo he is. If that's your cup of tea, I'm glad to fill it. If not, that's cool, no problem, have fun with... idk... whatever fics normal people like.To the rest of you, welcome to LM3EKBISLAETWHSAKBWBABDTS, wherein I single-handedly destroy everyone's fun in referring to fanfics by their initials, but ultimately I think establish a return to truth in advertising.NOTE: This fanfic has now been edited a bunch, so if the formatting, grammar, typos, and general overuse of certain words is less annoying than you remember during your re-read, that's why.
Relationships: King Boo/Luigi, Mario/Peach Toadstool, Professor E. Gadd/Chambrea
Comments: 115
Kudos: 257





	1. Arrival

**Author's Note:**

> So I see you clicked on my fic. Your funeral. Of course you ghost fuckers are probably into that. Oh well. Can't blame you, I'm writing this drivel. Have fun, gang.
> 
> ((Also this is clearly written for fun and not betaed oh lord is it not betaed))

**1 Arrival**

It was a warm, sunny day in the beginning of summer. Luigi was at the top of his game as he traveled along bumpy dirt roads in the back of a bus with his brother Mario, Mario’s girlfriend Peach, and Peach’s three royal Toad attendants. In such circumstance, some people might feel like a third wheel on their brother’s romantic getaway. However, Mario had a way of making sure Luigi knew he was wanted. Mario was here to celebrate saving Peach from getting forcibly married on the moon, and Luigi was there to celebrate with them. He might not be the center of attention, but he was used to that. He could entertain himself.

It also helped that Luigi was allowed to bring his ghost dog, Polterpup, along for the ride. Having the spectral dog press its oddly clammy, tingly body against Luigi’s thigh as the bus lifted and fell over bumps and divots in the road made Luigi’s heart warm, and a smile snuck its way onto his face beneath his mustache.

“Good doggie,” Luigi said as he carefully scratched the pup behind the ears, and laughed when the dog kicked out at the seat under them. Mario had never gotten the hang of petting Polterpup. He tried, but more often than not, his hand ended up going straight through the dog's body. Ghosts needed a delicate touch.

Luigi had been led to believe women did too, but if that was the case he might feel a bit sorry for Peach. She didn’t seem to mind rough treatment too much though… Luigi frowned at the thought and turned his mind sharply away from it. What Mario and Peach (and Bowser sometimes maybe?) got up to during their adventures together was none of his business.

Frankly, given his track record, Luigi couldn’t say he was eager for an ‘adventure’ of his own anytime soon. After all, while his brother got to trapeze about on solo missions across sunny hills, and to the beach, climbing skyscrapers in the big city and skiing down snowy slopes, Luigi seemed to only get to do those things if he was by his brother’s side. If not…

Well if not, Luigi most often had to fight ghosts in spooky mansions. Why? Why did he have to do that? Mario _did_ have the occasional spooky mission to work through, but Mario was better suited to that anyway! He jumped better, punched harder… he was just a better fighter! Not to mention braver. Luigi could admit that, he was secure enough with himself. Sure he COULD drum up the courage to save his family from the devious King Boo time and time again, but that didn’t mean liked it! It nearly gave him a heart attack every time! 

At least they were all going to get a nice, relaxing vacation for now. He could unwind at last, and not have to worry about Boos, or Ghosts, aside from Polterpup of course!

Luigi’s eyes strayed again up to the front of the bus where Mario and Peach were whispering to each other and giggling like school children. Luigi was glad they were happy. Though he did feel a familiar tug of longing too. It was the beginning of summer vacation after all, and they were going to be spending it in a spectacular resort hotel! Maybe there might be someone there to meet? Someone who might occupy Luigi’s time while Mario and Peach were off on dates? He could hang out with the Toads of course but they were…

Luigi let out a sigh as he gazed out the window at the passing trees again. Toads were fine, of course. Cute enough, he supposed. But they weren’t his type at all. He didn’t know what his type was, exactly, but it wasn’t… that.

A glitter of gold shimmered into the corner of Luigi’s eye as the bus crested a hill, and he straightened to press his nose against the window in awe as the massively tall and shining Last Resort Hotel came into view.

A golden skyscraper in the rolling hills, The Last Resort hotel was the last stop in luxury. At least, it was according to the brochure Luigi clutched in his hand. ' _Boasting a wide array of activities and warm and inviting rooms full of surprises at every turn! Once you enter you’ll never want to leave!_ '

Darting his eyes between the brochure’s contents and the hotel growing ever closer, Luigi found himself getting more and more excited. Exclusive boutiques for shopping, a world class restaurant, a concert hall and dance club, an exotic flower garden, magic shows, even a multi-story museum built into it! A true vacation destination.

Luigi was so excited that, as the bus pulled up in front of the gleaming front doors and his family and friends poured out and ran for the towering entrance, he didn’t even find it odd that there didn’t seem to be any other vehicles in the parking lot. Or, really, any people around at all. Had he noticed, he might’ve thought that odd for the beginning of summer at what should have been a very popular resort. But Luigi was ready to kick back and relax, and Polterpup looked as eager as anyone else to get inside, so Luigi wasn’t going to deny him! He hurried through the doors of the hotel, as happily as everyone else.

*

**_Far, far above the hotel lobby, a great presence stirred. Red eyes opened and a great tongue salivated. He was here. Soon now. Soon._ **

*

The hotel lobby was as plush and luxurious as the brochure promised. Heavy drapery, sweet perfumed scents and delicious food covered every surface. High on one wall was a large painting of a beautiful lady with very tall hair and a lovely smile on her face, possibly the owner? The friendly looking bellboys and other hotel staff manned desks and buffet tables, grabbing up Peach’s piles of luggage and even taking Luigi’s small bag up to their rooms for them, and directing everyone to the front desk for check in.

Once everyone’s names were logged in the guest book, there was a loud clearing of a throat heard from above. Everyone’s attention turned to the balcony railing above the front desk, and Luigi let out a tiny gasp at the imposing figure looming over them all with a giant smile on his face.

The man was tall, very tall, probably the tallest man Luigi had ever seen. He had very wide shoulders that had been accentuated with golden pads, and his pure white costume with golden buttons made him appear as regal as a king. His face only added to that interpretation as his nose was long and straight, white eyebrows plucked and sculpted, and his hair quaffed into an up-do resembling that of an aristocrat's wig, with three decorative tufts sticking out to the sides and back. His skin was pale as death, and yet Luigi couldn’t help but think he looked especially handsome.

Then, Luigi’s heart caught in his throat as the man’s eyes turned to look directly into Luigi’s own. His eyes were sharp, glittering, and blood red. Wow. Luigi had never met an albino person before. He certainly wore it well. Luigi wondered if he owned the hotel.

“Greetings, valued guests!” the man announced, raising his arms in greeting and waving them at his sides. Honestly, it looked a bit goofy, but Luigi was already too smitten to care. “I am Helenus Gravely, the owner of this wondrous hotel!”

Well that answered that question. That did leave Luigi wondering who the lady in the portrait was, though.

“I am sure all of you are exhausted after your long journey, and so I will gladly show you all to your private suites myself, as a show of good will! You will be free to rest from your travels, and later I will be happy to _personally_ show you the _full extent_ of our hospitality!”

The man, Helenus, turned his gaze to Luigi once again and winked. Luigi swallowed and pulled on his collar. Did it just get hot in there? Helenus headed down the curving staircase, bowed minutely to Princess Peach, and raised a hand to gesture toward the large elevator.

“Come!” Helenus commanded, leading the way through the opening elevator doors.

Luigi followed directions, as he often did, and happily followed his eager companions and Polterpup into the elevator after the handsome hotel owner. The elevator was lined with mirrors, as many are, and Luigi felt himself start to sweat when he realized those gorgeous red eyes were meeting his through the mirror the entire way up, his lips turned up in a smirk.

The elevator stopped on the fifth floor and opened into a hallway lined with doors, a familiar sight in any hotel. As they moved down the corridor, Luigi watched the three Toads get ushered down another hallway. Next, Peach and Mario were gestured into their rooms beside each other with looks of pleasant relief of their faces. It had been a long bus ride, and Luigi had to admit that he was looking forward to a nap as well, once he’d unpacked a little.

“I hope you’re not disappointed to be away from your friends, but I’m sure you’ll hardly notice, what with ah- all of the activities we have planned for you!”

Luigi’s room was down at the far end of the hall, right next to the laundry chute. He wasn’t surprised, and he wasn’t disappointed.

“Ah, it’s okay, I’m used to it.” Luigi suddenly realized that sort of made him sound pathetic, which maybe he was, but he didn’t need this handsome man to know that! “I mean, ah, things are usually safer the further I am from Mario! I mean, er…” That hadn’t come out right! “I mean, I uh, feel safer with at least one side sheltered by a wall!”

He wished he hadn’t had that thought, but it meant that when he finally entered his very relaxing hotel room, he had a sour taste in his mouth.

Luigi scowled at nothing, barely noticing that Helenus had actually followed him into the doorway of his room. Luigi threw his hands in the air for the oncoming rant. “Urgh, that’s why ghosts are so terrible! Only a ghost could take the safety of a solid wall and throw that out the window by bursting through it! Nothing worse than an enemy that could pop out of anywhere without warning! Know what I mean?”

“Uh, no, I don’t,” Helenus said flatly. Luigi turned and his cheeks flared red to see the hotel owner looking at him with a cold expression. Oh no, now he thought Luigi was some weirdo!

“Er, sorry, I’ve just had some… bad experiences…” Luigi trailed off, made to feel uncertain by Helenus’s clear look of displeasure. It was a far cry from the playful smirk from earlier. “Ah ha…”

“I see,” Helenus said, his voice low and, had Luigi not known better, he would say it held an edge of menace. “Well, I will leave you to rest, then.”

With that, Helenus practically slammed the door in Luigi’s face, leaving him alone in his room, save for Polterpup running around his feet. The whole interaction left Luigi feeling very unbalanced and unsettled.

Trying to shake off the feeling, Luigi headed numbly to his extremely soft and luscious bed. He opened his suitcase, placed his trusty flashlight on his bedside table, and took a handful of white gloves over to his suite’s desk drawer to start putting things away. He grabbed the golden handle and gently pulled-

BAM!

Luigi yelped and fell backwards onto his ass as a shower of confetti rained down around him. He squinted at whatever had leapt from the drawer at him, and was confused to see a white gloved hand attached to a spring. The hand was giving him a thumbs up but… that was a bit weird.

Well, the brochure HAD mentioned surprises…

Luigi stood up and brushed off the confetti from his pants and the end of his nose. He fought to shove the hand back in the drawer for a minute before giving up and deciding the housekeeping staff would just have to handle it. He was too tired. Instead he went for the closet, reaching to ease it open-

BAM!

Once again, Luigi fell hard on his ass as he was pelted with more confetti, a giant smiley face gleaming at him from a bouncing spring.

Luigi was starting to feel a little weirded out. He took a glance at the door to his suite, wondering if he should go ask his brother if this was really the sort of hotel he had in mind for their vacation but… well, knowing his brother he probably dove right into bed without even a thought to unpacking. It would probably be better to just mention it when they meet each other later for dinner. Though this did make Luigi wonder just what kind of man Helenus must be, to be so cold about Luigi admitting to his ghost troubles, and yet would fill his hotel with benevolent jump scares.

Deciding to leave the rest of his clothes in his luggage for now, and maybe until he can get Mario to come look for any other “surprises” on his behalf, Luigi headed to the bathroom to freshen up a little. He let out a soft gasp of delight upon seeing a claw footed tub. He had never had a bath in such a thing, but he was looking forward to it!

Luigi turned the taps on to start drawing a hot bath, and added plenty of the tub side bubble mix, cooing in awe to see that somehow the bubbles were turning green, and it smelled like lime too. Such luxury! Now that was a surprise he could get behind.

Polterpup pawed at the tub and whined, but Luigi shook his head and told him no, sending him back out to the bedroom to wait while he quickly got undressed and got into the tub before it was even full, too excited to feel the soothing water lap at his skin.

Once the water was up to his chin, Luigi shut off the faucet and leaned back with a contented sigh, closing his eyes, letting his hands idly travel over his chest, down past his round stomach and giving his cock a light, curious brush as he wondered briefly if it would be rude to jack off in a bathtub to the face of their gracious host who was currently ill-disposed toward him.

Luigi decided in the end that, rude though it may be, it’s not like anyone would know. That in mind, Luigi took his cock firmly in hand and let out a long moan as it practically jumped into his touch, already warmed by the bath-water. After a couple of rough strokes, Luigi grabbed a bar of soap and lathered up his hands before moving back to his filling organ. He soon found himself thrusting up into his fist, his other hand coming up to stifle his moans as his mind filled with red eyes and smirking lips.

He imagined the tall gentleman holding him down to that soft hotel bed, hovering over him, in him, ordering him to call his name,

“H-Helenus…” Luigi groaned out into his hand. “Hel-“

There was a burst of noise. Luigi stiffened immediately and strained to hear. It had sounded like a voice, like a gasp of laughter, or a scream, it was hard to say. All Luigi could hear now was a hiss, and then just the slap of water hitting sides of the tub from when Luigi disturbed it.

A feeling of deep unease suddenly overcame him, and Luigi scanned the room carefully again with wide eyes. He was certain in that moment that he was somehow being watched.

But no one was there. Of course no one was there. The beating of his heart slowed a little, and Luigi let out a groan, rubbing his temples with his fingers, his erection long-wilted. He must be more stressed than he thought. That’s the last time he would run a mini-game tournament for his brother in the middle of a royal kidnapping.

Luigi eased his way back under the bubbles and shut his eyes again. The warm water was soothing and, although he knew it was not safe to do so in a tub full of water, Luigi found he was tired enough to drop off into sleep.

He never noticed the big red eyes gleaming from the polished bathroom mirror. He didn’t hear the quiet, building laughter, or the illusions breaking all around him.

“ _Sleep well, little Luigi… oh look, you won’t be needing these anytime soon!”_

The ghostly voice faded away, as did Luigi’s clothes left lying on the bathroom floor. In the rapidly deteriorating bedroom, even the clothes in Luigi’s suitcase quickly disappeared. Polterpup ran in circles, growling and yapping, but there was only a moment’s pause before another burst of ghastly laughter. Only Luigi’s green hat reappeared, falling soundly onto the bed as Luigi slumbered unknowingly on.


	2. Wake Up Luigi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Listen. I know you know and I know and everyone else knows that Helenus Gravely is King Boo in disguise. But Luigi doesn't. Just pretend you don't either. Just like how I pretend I don't know Olaf is going to come back to life at the end of Frozen 2.* Protect your happiness whenever possible.

**2 Wake Up Luigi…**

Luigi woke up with a start when a blast of icy cold air blew by his ear. He sat up straight in the tub. The water was now only lukewarm compared to the cold air around him, which quickly hardened his nipples and caused him to shiver and sneeze. The bubbles had settled out into nothing more than a lime green film on the water, which left it looking a little swampy. Luigi made a face as he staggered out of the tub and reached blindly for a towel as he tried to rub the sleep from his eyes. He scrubbed his face vigorously, and as he did so, he became aware of barking and scratching at the bathroom door. Weird, Polterpup would normally just burst through if he was that eager to see him. Luigi lowered the towel and swung it around his back when he noticed the state of the bathroom around him and slowed to a dead stop.

He realized the darker room wasn’t just from the fading evening. The light in the room itself seemed to have dimmed… was the light bulb about to burn out? It was flickering as though it was. Luigi looked at the walls. Had those holes always been there? The wallpaper somehow looked more sinister in the dark too. The color was leeched out of everything, except from the bubble bath. It still glowed bright green, and he wasn't sure glow in the dark bubble bath existed. Whether it did or not, his bathwater was certainly glowing, and looking rather toxic at that. Luigi’s gaze traveled to the floor, grimacing at cracked tiles that he could have sworn were all gleaming and reflective when he had come in earlier.

Then Luigi realized his clothes were nowhere to be seen. He was so, so sure he had left them on the bathroom floor, but it might’ve been in the bedroom?

Luigi heard a loud gurgle come from the toilet. Luigi was not a brave man, but he did know it was better to know what a problem was before one started fearing it without question. Wincing and holding up his hands to defend himself, Luigi slowly approached the toilet and peered carefully over the bowl-

BAM!

Luigi let out a scream as something burst from the toilet, spraying him with water droplets and landing him hard on the floor with his bare ass. He was sure it would bruise as he looked blearily up to see what had jumped at him. It was another hand. This one looking far more frightening than the one from the drawer. What kind of place booby traps a TOILET?! This is beyond a surprise!

That’s when Luigi heard a squeak, and let out a low whine when a rat ran across the floor from somewhere, hurrying to hide under the tub. Was that here the whole time, too?

Polterpup’s whining and scratching at the door increased in volume, and Luigi finally staggered to his feet, wrapping the towel around his waist as he yanked open the bathroom door. He was immediately tackled to the floor by Polterpup, who seemed overjoyed to see him, licking him all over his face. In spite of his unease, Luigi laughed and patted the ghost dog’s head.

“Yes, yes, good doggie,” Luigi said, pushing the dog away and sitting up. This was followed by an immediate moan of horror.

It wasn’t just the bathroom that had changed. The once light and airy drapery had turned dark and heavy under yet another dim and flickering light bulb. The windows were cracked, revealing a large silver moon and a murder of crows watching from the balcony. The bed seemed unchanged, but the carpet was threadbare and fraying in places. When he glanced at the open wardrobe, Luigi was horrified to see even the smiley face from before was replaced by a terrible looking demon head. A fake one on a spring, but still!

Luigi ran to the side of the bed, snatching up his flashlight, which was also remarkably untouched, and flipped it on, shining it around the floor to find his luggage. He ran quickly to it and threw it open, only to look at it in confusion. It was empty. All his clothes were gone. Well, except for his gloves. His pile of gloves was still lying next to his luggage from earlier.

He knew it was silly, but he still grabbed a pair of gloves and pulled them on. Better any clothes at all at this point.

He turned when Polterpup nudged his leg, and smiled to see the dog had his hat in its mouth. Maybe Polterpup had hidden his clothes? He hoped so, but as he took his hat and put it on his head, adjusting his white towel loincloth to make it more secure, Luigi had a sinking feeling that Polterpup had nothing to do with the mysterious transformation of his hotel room.

Gesturing for Polterpup to follow him, Luigi edged over to his hotel room door and opened it slowly, peering into the gloom beyond… but then felt a moment of relief. The wall on the other side of the wall looked fine and normal!

That moment ended fast as Luigi saw in real time the rapid spread of deterioration around him, spreading from his doorway and down the hall, revealing giant spiders and flowers turning into thorns, pretty paintings into mysterious and alarming images.

Within seconds, the hotel was nigh unrecognizable, and Luigi’s heart hammered hard in his chest. What was happening? This was supposed to be a nice vacation! He hoped Mario was already handling this but he had to be sure.

Luigi shakily opened the door and clutched his flashlight to his chest, edging out into the hallway and jumping immediately when a big black spider descended right in front of his face.

“AIIIIIII!” Luigi yelled as he flung himself down on the ground, peeking out through his fingers only to see the spider scuttling away into a hole in the wall. Luigi sighed in relief and got back to his feet, tugging at his towel self-consciously as he tip toed down the hallway.

“Mario?” Luigi hissed as he crept down toward his brother’s room.

“Mario?” Luigi called a little louder as he tried his brother’s door. He had noticed his brother’s luggage had been left outside the door for some reason.

“Mario!” Luigi gasped in shock to find a room as deteriorated as his own. Mario was nowhere to be seen.

Luigi ran around the room, checking under beds and even in the spooky bathroom, behind the tattered curtains, ignoring the rats and spiders he disturbed in his frantic search for his brother. There was no one there, Luigi was alone. Mario was missing.

Luigi had a bad feeling about this. It wasn’t helped when a quick glance at his brother’s discarded clothes left him very aware they had too much of a size difference to be able to wear his brother’s overalls. They did, however, have the same shoe size. Luigi pulled on his brother’s shoes, though as his towel kept slipping, this didn't bring him a lot of comfort.

Another run down the hall revealed Peach’s room was equally destroyed and empty. This was very, very bad.

He found himself looking at one of Peach’s dresses lying on the ground.

Peach was more his height and build.

… it was… well it wasn’t practical per say but… it might be better than the towel.

So Luigi ditched the towel and pulled the pink dress on over his head. He didn’t fill out the chest, leaving his nipples to dip in and out of view as he moved. It did, however, stay on better than the towel had, even if it snagged a bit on his shoes while he got the hang of holding it a bit out of the way of his feet. After a glance in the dusty mirror, Luigi was pleased to see the color seemed to flatter his complexion. It didn’t match his hat though. Well, he had bigger problems on his hands.

He didn’t grab the matching panties for the same reason he didn’t grab a pair of his brother’s underwear. The idea of wearing someone else’s underwear squicked him out. Which was a fair complaint, and with the dress as long as it was it wouldn’t be an issue. Probably. Though, as Luigi entered the hallway, he had a brief wonder on why only his clothes were stolen. Maybe it was Polterpup after all? He hadn’t stolen his clothes like that before, but the poor thing might’ve been alarmed enough to go through his things.

Luigi pushed open the door of Peach’s suite and peered out into the darkened corridor again. He was going to have to go looking for them, maybe try the Toads’ rooms. He didn’t want to, but he knew he wouldn’t be able to feel safe again until he knew where his brother was. And so Luigi edged his way into the hall and shut the door behind him, Polterpup bursting through it as it closed, just in time to hear the elevator moving nearby.

Letting out a quiet moan of protest, Luigi peered around the corner to see the elevator just as the doors opened.

At first Luigi’s mood brightened to see Helenus Gravely exiting into the hallway.

That mood soured quickly when he realized that Helenus did not look quite the same as he had when he had first appeared. He looked _mostly_ the same, except now his whole body had a glowing silver aura, Luigi could still see the wallpaper through his translucent skin, and the man was hovering a few inches off the ground.

Helenus Gravely was a ghost.

Well, that’s why he was so upset over Luigi trashing ghosts earlier, Luigi thought. Then Luigi grabbed his head with his free hand. Was that why this was happening? He offended their ghost host and now they were being punished?

“Mamma mia!” Luigi swore, and then startled hard when the ghost man’s eyes found his yet again. Luigi’s blood turned to ice in his veins as the ghost began heading straight for him!

“Ah! I-I’m sorry I said I didn’t like ghosts before!” Luigi stammered out, falling backwards in front of Helenus. He flailed his limbs wildly to scramble backwards, and his skirt got snagged against the carpet and trapped him. Helenus’s grin grew unnaturally wide, nearly splitting his face in two as his formerly straight, white teeth were now clearly sharpened into fangs.

Was he a vampire ghost? This vacation just kept getting worse!

“Oh Luigi, how nice it is to have your image in my presence again! And in such a lovely dress, too. Yes, this certainly is a picture I’d like to keep for the rest of eternity…”

Luigi felt sweat pouring down his face as his fingers twisted around the useless flashlight in his hands. “E-eternity? Oh no, I uh, I have somewhere I have to be! Um, so if you could just let me and my friends go, w-we won’t bother you again, I promise!”

Helenus’s head fell back as a mighty, deep laugh shook the walls around them, jolting Luigi off the floor and freeing his skirt enough to scramble back up to his feet. Luigi still found himself cowering in one spot as Helenus turned his full attention back to Luigi and suddenly his face was WAY TOO CLOSE.

“Oh Luigi, Luigi, Luigi,” Helenus laughed lightly as his arms laced around the back of Luigi’s neck and drew him closer to his host. “I’m the one who invited you here, it would be rude to leave your host alone…”

“W-why would you invite us here? T-to get revenge? I haven’t even seen you before today!” Luigi wailed, leaning as far back as Helenus’s grip would allow. For a ghost, his form was oddly solid. In Luigi’s experience, that meant he must be especially powerful, and here he was without his poltergust! He was in trouble. Where was Polterpup?

Helenus paused for a moment, tilting his head to one side. “You don’t recognize me? Not at all?”

“No!”

“Hm.” Helenus’s eyes narrowed and a red bejeweled crown appeared on his head. “How about now?”

“N-no?” Luigi was uncertain. The crown did ring a bell, but he was still overwhelmed by Helenus’s face. Even as a spooky ghost, he was still extremely handsome, and Luigi would definitely recall meeting a man this handsome before. “No, I would remember!”

Helenus abruptly let go of Luigi and hummed, looking at himself in a nearby mirror attached to one of the hallway vanities. He squinted at himself as if he could see what about himself was so unrecognizable, then turned back to Luigi looking a little disarmed. “Not a clue at all? Not even a wild hunch, a theory?” Luigi just shrugged, the confusion evident on his face. “Interesting.” Helenus reached out for Luigi again, but this time Luigi had enough control of himself to dart out of reach. The ghost appeared irritated. “There’s no need for that.”

“W-where’s Mario? And Peach?” Luigi asked, trying to sound brave but his voice still wavered.

Helenus rolled his eyes. “Urgh, never mind about them.”

“They are my family!”

Helenus’s grin was back. “Call them insurance, then. I know that as long as they stay missing, you won’t leave the hotel, will you? I know you, Luigi. Always so desperate to save your brother!”

Luigi was confused again, a small bell ringing at the back of his mind. “But… so…” Luigi tried to understand what was happening. “So, what do you want, then? Aren’t you just going to capture me like you did Mario and Peach?”

“Oh, I’m going to capture you, alright. In a way, I already have…” Helenus laughed, eyes gleaming brightly. “But not the same way. Maybe once I would have. But that was then!” Helenus’s hand darted forward without warning and grabbed Luigi’s, pulling him close again. “This is now.” Helenus bowed and pressed his lips to the back of Luigi’s gloved hand.

All the blood in Luigi’s body tried to rush to his cheeks and dick at the same time. It left him feeling woozy. Helenus seemed pleased when he looked up to see Luigi swaying in shock.

“Better to just forget your family, really,” Helenus hummed. “You’ll never see them again anyway.”

Luigi snapped out of his stupor and yanked his hand back, in the same motion using his flashlight to smack Helenus alongside the head. Luigi was still feeling off kilter, but he was loyal to his familia, damn it!

“Now-a you listen here!” Luigi snapped, his Italian accent bleeding through more heavily than usual. “I don’t know who you think you- eep!” Luigi yelped as he realized Helenus’s face had darkened significantly, and his aura had blackened.

“You do NOT hit me!” Helenus yelled, and Luigi screamed, turning tail and bolting down the hallway in the direction of his room again. He could see from the mirrors he passed that Helenus was gaining on him, his ghostly fingers coming within an inch of grabbing his flowing skirt. Then Luigi heard a frustrated cry from behind him and twisted his neck enough to see Polterpup had darted out of the wall and tripped Helenus, leaving the ghost awkwardly sprawled on the floor for the moment.

That wouldn’t stop him for long, so Luigi darted straight past his room. He couldn’t lock himself in, and even if he could, he would just be trapped. He eyed the laundry chute at the end of the hall.

Oh no.

He heard a triumphant yell behind him and saw Helenus back on his feet and sprinting.

“You’ve got nowhere to go, Luigi! I will have you, there is no escape!”

“Urgh,” Luigi muttered. But as long as there was a way, no matter how unpleasant and scary, Luigi knew he had to take it for the sake of his family.

Luigi pulled open the laundry chute and jumped in, tumbling down, down, down, into the dark. He didn’t know what he feared more, finding out what fate awaited him at the bottom, or deciphering whatever horrible things Helenus was threatening to do to him amid the angered shrieking that followed Luigi down the chute in ear-splitting echoes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *jk I love Olaf so much don't @me ok he is my homeboy


	3. An Unpleasant Phone Call

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey so this chapter was going to last till Luigi found E. Gadd but then he got stuck on the phone. It happens.

**3 An Unpleasant Phone Call**

Luigi had not been unlucky enough to die from hitting a cold cement floor at the bottom of the laundry chute. He landed instead on a deep pile of musty sheets and pillowcases, leftovers of a long abandoned maid service. Luigi stayed there for a moment, listening hard. No more shrieks were coming from the shaft above. He found himself having to stop a couple of times as material slid from under him, and he had to pull and wad up his skirt around his hand to get it out of the way, but he eventually waded out of the laundry pile and onto the cement floor, presumably located in the basement of the hotel.

It was dark and gloomy as the upstairs rooms had been, though most likely this part of the hotel had been that way even in its heyday. Few basement laundry rooms could be called anything approximating warm and inviting. In any case, Luigi made sure his flashlight was firmly on and crept forward past the oddly glowing and rumbling laundry machines. Best not to think too hard about why they seemed to be working in a hotel that looked like it hadn't had a living guest in a decade.

Polterpup had evidently followed Luigi down the chute, as he appeared out of nowhere and began trotting happily by Luigi’s side. The dog was oblivious to his master’s distress as it sniffed at rags and odd stains on the floor. Luckily, they didn't seem to run across anything more than rats and spiders, which were carefully avoided. When Luigi opened the door on the other side of the laundry room, he was faced by what looked to be a utility corridor, with a single door on one side labelled as the parking garage.

Could that be a way out? Luigi hurried down the hall, quick to pry open the door in question with a clatter, sending more hotel critters scattering as he ran in and looked around the room wildly. There was no sign of the bus they had rode in on, but plenty of vehicles sat around the space covered by white sheets. Luigi spotted a large garage door with a big red button next to it. He rushed toward it and pressed the button quickly, startling when he heard the large door rumble to life. The button was sparking, but the door was opening! Luigi started to head outside.

Then he hesitated. He hated to admit it, but Helenus was right. Luigi wouldn’t leave the hotel without his friends and family. That wasn’t who he was. He was a scaredy-cat, not a coward. He wondered for a moment if he ought to prop the door open for later escape, when the button blew out of the wall and the door slammed down into the floor with a huge rattling bang.

Once Luigi fixed his hat that had been knocked askew, he looked up at the destroyed button glumly. So much for that escape.

A tugging at Luigi’s skirt brought his attention back to Polterpup who, once he saw Luigi was looking, ran across the parking garage to what a half-covered pink vehicle in the corner. A familiar pink vehicle.

“E. Gadd?” Luigi muttered to himself as he approached the unusual car that most certainly belonged to the eccentric professor, who always seemed to turn up on this unwanted ghost adventures. Well, although this ghost adventure seemed a bit unorthodox compared to the last couple, Luigi would be happy to see the professor again, if only because he knew the professor would outfit him in gear that would allow him to actually stand a chance against the onslaught of ghosts he knew he would be dealing with soon enough.

E. Gadd was not inside his car, unfortunately. Polterpup, however, was pawing at a hatch on the front of the car. Well, Polterpup hadn’t steered him wrong yet. Luigi went ahead and opened the hatch and inside, like a gift from god, was the Poltergust.

“Oh, yeah!” Luigi cheered, throwing a fist in the air. He quickly grabbed his beloved super vacuum and strapped it to his back. This was great! He was feeling braver already as he attached his flashlight to the vacuum hose and tested everything out, using the extra power of the Poltergust to flash his flashlight bright enough to stun a spook. He exercised the sucking and blowing function and was delighted to learn that everything worked perfectly.

“Good dog!” Luigi said warmly, patting Polterpup’s head and received a hearty lick to the face in response.

Straightening first the straps of his Poltergust, then his skirt, and finally his hat, Luigi headed for the door back into the hallway. He spotted a rat on the ground and flashed it with his flashlight, exploding it into coins that he quickly sucked up with his vacuum hose. Luigi headed down the hall toward the elevator like that, vacuuming up everything in sight, from dust, to critters, to money, to thorns, to creepy skulls, and anything else.

A lesser man may have felt like a custodian in a dress. Luigi felt like a hella cute custodian in a dress. Luigi respects women and custodians.

Anyway, Luigi was feeling pretty good about how his rescue mission was going so far. Whether that had anything to do with the fact that the worst enemy he had seen since the laundry chute was a spider remained to be seen. When he reached the end of the corridor, Luigi hit the button for the elevator and strode confidently inside. It was then that he was held up short.

The elevator buttons were all gone. Well, the one for Basement L1 was there, which was coincidentally the floor Luigi was already on, but that didn’t help any. Luigi stuck a finger into one of the holes to see if he could activate the elevator that way, but the interior of the hole beyond was cold, and Luigi couldn’t feel anything mechanical. He had to yank to get his finger back, and didn’t feel confident enough to try again.

Luigi left the elevator feeling a touch more fearful than he had a moment ago. Was that it, then? He was stuck in the basement until Helenus came for him, like a toy in a box? No, there had to be a solution to this. There had to be stairs, somewhere. There was a strange locked door against the wall near the elevator. At first Luigi had dismissed it as a utility room, but there weren’t any other places stairs could possibly be. After examining the lock, Luigi determined that one was supposed to scan a card against the little round scanner.

Luigi turned up his flashlight to full blast and flashed the scanner. There was a beep and the lock flashed green, the door sliding open to reveal a set of stair lying beyond. Success! Luigi quickly ran toward the stairs, only a little surprised to see Polterpup already on the landing above him, barking for him to keep up.

Luigi sucked up and knocked aside some debris and spiders, but otherwise made it back up to the first floor unhindered. This was almost TOO easy!

Then Luigi tripped on his skirt and fell on his face. Well that… he should have seen that coming.

Getting back to his feet and taking a deep breath, Luigi pushed open the door to the first floor. He found himself facing a dark doppelganger of the bright and cheery lobby he had entered that afternoon. The colorful balloons were now black and decorated with frightening faces. There was dust and cobwebs in every corner. Even the brightly wrapped boxes that Luigi had once though were gifts were now revealed to only be empty cardboard.

He had seen the deterioration of his own room, but it was only now that Luigi understood the full scope of how well he and the others had been tricked. He didn’t know why Helenus called them all here, really, but he was clearly a powerful ghost with extremely potent illusion powers. It almost reminded him of King Boo, actually. Obviously with a bit more style, and King Boo always haunted mansions as far as Luigi knew. And of course King Boo would never in a million years kiss Luigi’s hand after maybe implying… uh…

Yeah, Luigi was even going to go down that train of thought right now. It didn’t matter if Helenus was hot and maybe… maybe… interested in him? Luigi HAD to stop blushing at that thought as he started tip toeing into the lobby proper. It didn’t matter what Helenus might want from Luigi, he had kidnapped his family and told him he would never see them again! That was objectively evil. Luigi could not be blinded by warm fluttery feelings!

Luigi turned to the front door of the hotel, meaning to check if that was a viable escape route, only for his flashlight to illuminate two bright blue ghosts in bell boy uniforms welding the doors shut!

“Mamma mia…” Luigi moaned, flashlight shaking as the ghosts grinned at him and dropped their welding tools. They cackled ominously as they closed in on him.

“N-no!” Luigi cried out, his instincts kicking in as he flashed the two with his strobe light, stunning them long enough for him to flip his Poltergust on to full suction power. Within a couple of screaming moments, both ghosts had been safely sucked up and stored in the infinite confines of the Poltergust. But Luigi couldn’t rest just yet. He hurried to the front doors to see if he could still get out, but the welding did its job. They wouldn’t budge. Even when Luigi went to look for the tools the ghosts had dropped, they had been mysteriously vanished. That was no good. Luigi sighed and decided to check the windows by the concierge desk before going upstairs.

The windows proved fruitless, as unmoving as the door at been, and even launching heavy jack-o-lanterns at them with the Poltergust didn’t give them any cracks. It looked like he really was trapped for the moment. Nowhere to go but up. As Luigi passed by the concierge desk on his way to the staircase, however, the phone on the desk began to ring.

Luigi approached the phone hesitantly. Ghosts were tricky things, they could pop out of places one wouldn’t expect and attack, and yet sometimes the rare one might give him clues about the challenges ahead. It was usually pointless or detrimental, but in a situation like this with so much unknown, Luigi could not afford to risk not answering that phone. So he that's what he did.

“Hello?” Luigi asked into the receiver, briefly wondering when the last time he actually held a corded phone was.

Heavy breathing came through the speaker.

“Hello?” Luigi tried again, “It’s Luigi!”

The breathing came heavier, followed by a low groan.

Luigi was starting to get a bit weirded out, but it occurred to him that ghosts shouldn’t have to breathe, really.

“M-Mario?” Luigi asked hopefully.

“ _Oh fuck, don’t mention **him,** now_!”

“AH!” Luigi slammed the phone back down on the receiver. That was unmistakably Helenus’s voice!

The phone started ringing again and Luigi bit his lip. Should he answer it again? Should risk hearing Helenus breathing heavily and moaning down a phone line at him? Luigi bit his lip and picked up the receiver, but he did feel a touch guilty about it.

“ _Hello Luigi_ ,” The deep, wavering voice was immediate this time.

Luigi curled the cord around his finger slowly as he answered. “Hello? Ah, is this Helenus?”

“ _Good guess. I’m a bit surprised you picked up the phone again. Surely you know what I was doing?”_

Luigi’s cast his eyes downward in shame, and then he frowned a bit as he noticed the dust covering the bottom of his dress. He wondered how mad Peach would be when he returned it in such a state.

“Well, ah, that was…” Luigi’s mind grasped for a witty retort but fell short. He decided it was best to ignore it. “L-listen, I just want my family to be safe.”

“ _Your family is safe. There, are you satisfied? Will you come back upstairs to see me, now?”_

Luigi pressed a hand across his eyes in exasperation. “How can I take your word that my family is safe? Everything about this hotel so far has been a lie!”

“ _So? Then it doesn’t matter what I say or don’t say.”_

“Why would I have to come upstairs to see you, anyway? Can’t you just come down here?”

There was actually a pause. “ _Did… did you want me to come down there?”_

Luigi flushed brightly. “No! Y-yes? I don’t know! Just let everyone go!”

“ _How about this, you destroy that silly little vacuum cleaner of yours, and I will gladly come down and negotiate with you!”_

Luigi gasped, holding his Poltergust nozzle to his chest. That had to be it. Helenus was afraid of the Poltergust. That was why he wasn’t attacking right now. “No! How about this, you let my family go, or I WILL come upstairs, WITH my silly little vacuum cleaner, and I will free them myself!”

There was some grumbling from the other end of the phone. “ _This is so LIKE you.”_

Luigi scowled. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“ _You’re just like your brother- that’s no reason to smile!”_

Luigi covered his mouth and started looking around, a bit startled. Could Helenus see him?

“ _That's right Luigi, I see everything in this hotel! I'm watching your pretty little face right now.”_

“You can see everything in this hotel? Then why did you let me get the Poltergust in the first place, hmm?”

_“I… I didn’t know the old man brought it with him!"_ Helenus's voice wore a tinge of embarrassment. " _If I had, I would’ve destroyed it myself! I checked the trunk- who puts a luggage compartment on the front of a car?!”_

“Well, E. Gadd does have some strange ideas… but he knows what he’s doing.”

“ _HA! If that old man knew what he was doing, he would’ve been harder to capture! That meddling fool got what was coming to him!”_

“Well I don’t know what he did to you, but I haven’t seen any evidence you didn’t deserve it!”

“ _What about innocent until proven guilty?”_

“You kidnapped my family and… and stole my clothes! I think! Unless that was Polterpup.”

“ _Oh no, that was definitely me.”_

“What? Why would you do that!?”

“ _So you wouldn’t be wearing clothes, though obviously that failed. I don’t mind the dress though, it’s definitely a good color on you.”_

“Well yes, I thought the same, though it doesn’t really fit right in the chest.”

“ _Hey, I don’t mind a peep show.”_

Luigi gasped, covering his chest where his left nipple was making a brief appearance again. “Pervert!”

_“Guilty as charged.”_ There was a burst of maniacal laughter and Luigi had to hold the phone away from his ear. “ _Sooner or later, Luigi, you will realize your helplessness. When you do, just remember, I’m offering you an easy way out of your misery. Get rid your Poltergust, and I will personally give you a one way ride straight up to the Master Suite.”_

Luigi felt a chill race down his spine as the laughter returned, and slammed the phone down. It started ringing again almost immediately, but this time Luigi didn’t answer. He motioned for Polterpup to stop playing in the nearby cardboard box tower and headed for the stairs. The ringing kept going until he was halfway up the stairs, and the following silence was deafening.

Luigi’s eyes were drawn to the picture of the pretty lady from earlier as he passed it by. Like everything else in the lobby, the image had changed as the illusions had dropped. It was clear now that this lady was also a ghost. She had blue, translucent skin, glowing eyes, and her once smiling face was twisted into a look of rage as her fists appeared to be pounding on the frame of the portrait. It looked as though trying to escape. Luigi shivered and tore his gaze away. Something about that lady made him feel extremely uncomfortable.

He turned in a circle at the top of the stairs to get a look at his options. There was the elevator again in the corner, but it would have no buttons, so that was pointless. There was a door into the restaurant, which might be worth remembering for later in case he needed food and supplies. But before he would explore that area, he decided he would follow Polterpup, who was dancing by the giant set of doors leading into the second floor suites.

If Polterpup thought that was the place to go, it was probably right. Taking a deep breath, Luigi pushed open the door and prepared as best he could for whatever horror was in store on the other side.


	4. The Doctor and the Disconcerting Maid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luigi finds a friend, and somehow messes that up.

**4 The Doctor and the Disconcerting Maid**

Beyond the giant doors on the second floor was a wide atrium space, lined with vases on pedestals, the walls painted a soft blue. Luigi paused for a moment in the entrance, unnerved. This was the nicest room he had seen since waking up in the bathtub, and he was afraid this one would start to dissolve around him as well. A minute passed, then two. When it became clear that nothing was happening, Luigi took a better look around the walls. He counted one door other than the one he came through, and had started to walk towards it when Polterpup began barking again. Luigi turned to see the spectral dog was looking up at the painting Luigi hadn’t really taken notice of earlier.

He certainly took notice now. The painting depicted the tiny, bespectacled form of E. Gadd, and his frozen expression appeared very confused indeed. Luigi ran over to the painting and hammered on the frame, but there was no response. Well, of course not, E. Gadd was a painting. Or trapped IN a painting more likely. Was being able to trap the living in paintings a normal power for powerful ghosts? That didn’t make sense.

Luigi gazed at E. Gadd’s prison with growing, terrible, certainty. As horrible a thought as it was, Helenus Gravely was probably working for King Boo. It made sense, it would explain why they were all lured there, if it was on King Boo’s orders. Helenus had seemed to be taking personal interest in the situation, if Luigi's last few interactions with him were any indication, but there was no reason to think King Boo _wasn't_ involved.

Well, he would just have to speak with E. Gadd to get more information. Luigi checked his Poltergust for his usual tool to use in such situations and froze. The attachment that revealed illusions was missing! Without it, he could not dispel the illusion that E. Gadd was a simple painting, and not a far from simple man who had clearly gotten in over his head.

Then, Luigi had an idea.

“Here!” Luigi held out his vacuum to Polterpup. “Take a good sniff.” Polterpup trotted toward his master and closed its eyes, sniffing the vacuum loyally. “Now, find the missing piece!”

Polterpup barked and leapt into the air, taking off through the closed door opposite the one he had come through, and Luigi was hot on his heels. He flung open the door to reveal the suite corridor, just in time to see Polterpup’s rear end vanish into a wall that was next to what appeared to be a utility closet.

Luigi burst through the closet door, only to see Polterpup pawing at yet another painting hanging on the wall, though this one seemed be a completely ordinary painting aside from it's location. A painting in a utility closet? Weird. Luigi headed over to it and, after encouragement from Polterpup, knocked the painting off the wall. Where the painting had been hanging was now a small wall safe, locked with a card scanner much like the one on the door from earlier. A quick flash of light later left Luigi with an open safe, and the missing piece of the Poltergust. Just sitting in a wall safe behind a painting in a utility closet, mere meters from where E. Gadd was imprisoned.

Huh. That felt… too easy.

Like… way too easy.

Hmm.

Well, Luigi didn’t have much choice but to accept the strange fortunate coincidence for now, and twisted the part onto his flashlight's lens. He flicked his flashlight onto the right setting, resulting in a purple and green beam of light snaking from his Poltergust like a mood light through a smoke machine. He wouldn’t know if it still worked properly until he tried it on the painting though, so Luigi left the utility room to do just that.

As Luigi left the room, however, he stopped dead. The wall opposite him was absolutely plastered in wanted posters, every one of them showing a drawn portrait of him. But it wasn't just a picture of his face, it was a reproduction of him in the claw foot tub from upstairs! Entirely naked, his hands clearly under the water doing... something... and the expression on his face was better left unconsidered.

“MAMMA MIA!” Luigi cried, and immediately turned on the Poltergust, blushing furiously as he watched the posters get yanked off the wall one by one, and disappear as such down the vacuum tube. Luigi groaned as he looked down the hall and saw ever more posters, each one proudly displaying his own face twisted in pleasure, giant letters reading ‘WANTED’ emblazoned along the top of each page, with a mention of a reward. How embarrassing.

Luigi was concentrating so hard on tearing down the posters, he didn’t even notice the ghosts at the end of the hall laughing and plastering the wall with them. Until he bumped into them that is. The ghosts looked from the poster to Luigi's face, then started laughing hysterically. On the bright side, this left them distracted enough for Luigi to slam on his new strobe light, stunning them long enough to suck them up. Unfortunately, the ghosts were flailing enough in their mirth that one managed to grab Luigi's dress on its way into the nozzle. The ensuing rip was deafening in Luigi's ears. Swallowing hard, Luigi looked down and winced to see a big fat tear that rose halfway up his skirt.

Luigi was really starting to worry for the practicality of the dress at this point, but there really was no more time to waste. Luigi headed back to the second floor atrium to free E. Gadd.

*

In the Master Suite, King Boo hovered in the middle of his spacious, white, living room, looking unhappily at the giant view screen projecting Luigi onto the wall. The young man had already managed to drive all his plans into the ground. First he finds the Poltergust. Then he found the piece that helps him dispel illusions, and King Boo had no idea when or why E. Gadd hid that extra piece in the utility room. Now it looked as though he was going to end up rescuing that old coot as well.

It was ridiculous! King Boo rolled his round body over in mid-air to stare at the ceiling in displeasure. He wasn’t even trying to take over the world this time!

Well, yet. It was still his ultimate goal, of course, but his to-do list had a couple of extra items on it now. The first was taking revenge on his beloved, which he had done by removing his family from him forever. But the second item was seducing, claiming, and eventually marrying the frustratingly handsome young man that kept defeating him at every turn. King Boo's eyes traced Luigi's hips where the skirt fell over them, and sighed in frustration.

King Boo flipped back over and let out a chuckle at his own ill mood. He really shouldn’t have expected Luigi to be easy. That was what made him such a prize! But he _would_ fall for the King eventually. Not even Luigi could resist the charms of the illusionary human form that King Boo had so meticulously constructed! He already had evidence that Luigi was attracted to it, and that evidence was soon to be on every wall, reminding his future husband just how much he really wanted that one way pass into the Master Suite. Maybe then, he would finally ditch that blasted vacuum cleaner once and for all. It was annoying getting trapped over and over! Best to stay away from it for the moment. It was only a matter of time until Luigi became hopeless in the face of the dangers ahead. He had a whole fifteen floors to endure this time after all! That would tire anyone out. In the meantime, King Boo would watch and wait.

The King’s eyes were suddenly drawn to the new tear in Luigi’s skirt that was slowly unraveling up the boy’s leg. He let out a ghastly moan and curled in on himself, a bulge growing beneath him, glowing blue with need. He lowered himself to the sofa to take care of the problem, but as his eyes tracked up that bare leg again, he hoped Luigi would give in soon!

*

Back in the atrium, Luigi wasted no time in freeing the professor from his painted prison, and the old man was quick to demand that Luigi take him to the elevator. He would only explain so far as to say he had something to retrieve from the fifth floor.

“But the elevator buttons are missing!” Luigi tried to explain as the professor grabbed his hand and pulled him out into the lobby again and around the edge of the landing.

“I know that, that’s why I stashed two away!” E. Gadd snapped, as though Luigi was incredibly stupid for not expecting such a thing, “Just as I stashed away the strobe bulb for the poltergust after I brought it to my room to tweak it!”

“Oh, I see,” Luigi said as E. Gadd hit the button to call the elevator. Luigi waited patiently while E. Gadd quickly screwed in the buttons for the first and fifth floors, pressing the one for the fifth floor as soon as it was firmly in.

“Yes, I was lured here by the owner of this hotel, same as you I expect,” E. Gadd began without prompting, “My host had promised me that this hotel was very, very haunted, and that she wanted me to study the local ghost population. I was told I should bring my entire ghost collection with me so that she could have a look at my many discoveries!”

“But it was all a trap!” E. Gadd said sharply as the elevator stopped on the fifth floor and the tiny man shooed Luigi out into the hall. “As soon as I showed off my collection, they were taken from me, and released! Everything from the common Goob, to King Boo himself! Apparently my host was a fan of King Boo, not me at all!”

“Ah, I see,” Luigi said as E. Gadd fumed for a moment before motioning Luigi to follow him down the hall.

“Needless to say, King Boo locked me away in the portrait you found me in.”

“So Helenus _is_ working for King Boo…” Luigi’s mustache drooped in disappointment. It was true that Helenus was evil for kidnapping his family, but Luigi had still held out some hope that maybe everything was a misunderstanding. Unfortunately, if he had freed King Boo, there was no way Luigi could justify anything less than locking Helenus away like any other trouble-making ghost he ran across.

When E. Gadd turned back to look at him, Luigi fought hard to keep the disappointment off of his face.

“So, what are we looking for?” Luigi asked as E. Gadd pulled a room key out of his pocket and stuck it in the lock for Room 508.

“Well, if we’re taking on King Boo, I thought we could use some help!” E. Gadd smiled cryptically as he pushed open the door. Then he gasped. Luigi was quick to spot the problem and grabbed the professor, pulling him out of view of the doorway.

In the middle of the room was a ghost. A large, purple, female ghost in a maid’s uniform. She was puttering around the room, seeming not to notice her onlookers as she continued her work. Her work at the moment seemed to mainly consist of shaking out moldy, frayed bed sheets, and running a spectral duster over furniture and not moving so much as a dust mote with it.

“One of yours?” Luigi whispered to E. Gadd, who shook his head.

“No, this must be one of the residents from before I got here,” E. Gadd muttered. The two men hesitated at the door for a moment before E. Gadd grabbed Luigi's elbow to nudge him forward. “Well, get in there and grab my suitcase, hurry up!”

“What?” Luigi straightened in fear. The suitcase was right next to the ghost! How was he supposed to get to it? Luigi was about to argue this point when the maid noticed the suitcase on the floor. She picked it up curiously, and smiled. Apparently she liked it, as her next action was to swallow it whole like a snake.

Luigi’s jaw dropped open, but this bizarre act only seemed to enrage E. Gadd. Luigi tried to hold him back, but the professor shook Luigi loose without a word and went storming into the hotel room.

“Hey now, ghost! That doesn’t belong to you! You can’t go around swallowing living people’s property!” E. Gadd shook his fist at the offending phantom. The chambermaid let out a gasp and put her hands to her cheeks as she saw the professor and… cooed?

“ _So small_!” Echoed a high, feminine voice, “ _I could just eat you up!”_ Without pause, the maid loomed over E. Gadd and pounced upon him.

“Wha- no! LUIGI! DON’T JUST STAND THERE!” E. Gadd gasped as the maid scooped him up into her arms and cradled him hard into her ghostly bosom. Luigi startled and nearly dropped his flashlight. However, he did manage to get hold of his nerves long enough to rush into the room and set off his flash bulb, freezing the maid in place. He flipped on his vacuum to start sucking, but shut it down when E. Gadd started screaming and shaking his head.

“Wait, WAIT! She’s holding me too tightly, I don’t want to get sucked up too! Humans can’t survive inside of the Poltergust!”

Luigi held up his hands helplessly. “Then what should I do?”

“I don’t- lady let me GO!” E. Gadd kicked out at the maid, but she had by then shaken off her paralysis and shook her finger at E. Gadd as though scolding a naughty child.

“ _Ah ah ah. Do not worry little one, Chambrea will take care of you, now!”_ The maid, Chambrea, then wasted no time in flying through the wall, taking E. Gadd with her.

“Oh no!” Luigi ran out the door of the suite and barreled his way straight to the room next door, busting his way inside, but there was no maid to be seen. It was the same story in the next room down, and the next.

Polterpup sat on the ground at the end of the hall, looking at Luigi with big, sad eyes. Luigi hurried to the dog with desperation in his voice. “Do you know where she took him? Can we get to them?” Polterpup let out a sigh and bowed his head to the floor. There he stayed, whining pitifully. Luigi sank to his knees and rested his hand on Polterpup’s head.

“It’s okay doggie, we’ll get him back… somehow.” Luigi gave a shaky smile. “At least things can’t get worse, right?”

Having done his best to reassure the spectral pooch, Luigi got to his feet. Sadly, he was too quick about the movement and snagged his shoe on the skirt in just the wrong place. The tear at the side ripped all the way up to Luigi’s waist, and around it. Suddenly the heavy, full skirt was only holding onto the top by threads! Luigi grabbed at the tatters and held them around his very bare lower half with a horrified expression.

“Mamma mia!”

Far above him, King Boo floated in in front of his projector screen, laughing so hard he thought he might do the ghost equivalent of pissing himself.


	5. A Strange Meal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hmm. Is that a plot I smell? Oh, I guess warning for vore in this chapter. I mean it's not sexual but someone does get eaten so like. Idk. It could be vore in your mind. It's not detailed tho so. Yeah.

**5 A Strange Meal**

At first, Luigi thought he could just get back to Peach’s room and fetch another dress. However, when he tried to make his way down the hallway where his, Mario's, and Peach’s suites were, he found a large pile of heavy furniture in the way. After many minutes spent heaving himself and the Poltergust to the top of the pile, which was doubly hard as he tried to keep himself covered with the scraps of skirt the whole time, he was left looking down at a mysteriously blank corridor with no doors at all.

Were the rooms themselves an illusion too? Luigi had no idea. With a heavy sigh, Luigi decided to leave that issue aside for now, and tried to scramble down the pile again. He reached the bottom, but on the way managed to snag his skirt on a suitcase handle, this time dealing the death blow. The skirt was ripped entirely from the top, and Luigi was left exposed.

Luigi managed to climb back up high enough to pull the ripped material out of the handle and then sat on the floor trying to figure out what to do. He attempted to tie it around his waist like a towel, but there simply wasn't enough intact cloth to make that work. He could go into one of the other hotel rooms and use a blanket or something, but that would be too long, he might trip.

Then Luigi had an idea. With a bright smile, Luigi rolled up the ripped skirt and started threading it around and between his legs. He tied it off and did a power stance. Success! He was now wearing a pink cloth diaper. Basically. It wasn't ideal, but at least his penis wasn’t swinging free anymore. That was the biggest danger at the moment. It wasn’t much, but it would have to do.

Luigi headed back the way he had come, and in that short walk was already trying to pick a wedgie. It was possible that this solution was worse than he thought. Then, when he got back into the elevator, he remembered he only had buttons for the current floor, the first floor, and the basement. He hadn’t seen anything on those floors that would work better as make-shift clothes, but then… he hadn’t fully explored the second floor had he? There was still the restaurant and kitchen that he had to explore. He might be able to find an apron or something there, at least. As he thought about the kitchen, Luigi’s stomach took that moment to loudly protest. Maybe he would get lucky and find something edible as well.

This decided, Luigi hit the button for the first floor and contented himself to wait.

*

King Boo huffed as he watched Luigi descend in the elevator to the first floor. By the loud growling from the man’s stomach, King Boo assumed he was heading to the hotel restaurant for a snack. Well, that was alright by the King. After all, he hadn’t intended to starve his beloved. He even had a selection of human food delivered to the hotel for that purpose! And since he knew where Luigi was heading next, he could probably come up with a plan.

The Poltergust was a risk, but maybe if he could imply to Luigi that he had information that would help him free himself or his family, he would resist using it. After all, with E. Gadd now out of the way again, Luigi didn’t have any help at all! Well, except for that dog, but how much could a dog do to help?

It wasn't a perfect plan, though. Why would Luigi believe King Boo would help him? That would be silly.

OH! King Boo twirled circles in the air and laughed as he realized. Luigi wouldn’t KNOW he was King Boo, obviously! If it seemed like the debonair Helenus Gravely was on his side, there’s no way a noble little creature like Luigi would dare try to harm him! And it would give him more time to seduce him properly. There was no way that Luigi would be able to resist him wearing a face like that!

It was perfect!

King Boo did a flip in excitement and made a beeline for the kitchen, phasing through the floors one after the other. He had to make sure he got down there before Luigi did!

*

Luigi looked up at the rusted restaurant door, appropriately decorated with an imprint of a bowl of fruit. The elevator ride to the first floor seemed to have taken longer than it should have, and Polterpup ran off into the lobby on his own as soon as the doors opened. Luigi knew it would be alright to proceed, Polterpup was good at avoiding danger after all.

Taking a breath to steel his nerves, Luigi pushed open the door into the hall beyond. Immediately, Luigi’s nose twitched as the scent of warm, cooking meat and vegetables assaulted him. Was that a hint of pie as well? His mouth watered and he licked his lips as he thought about what wonderful foods might be producing such tantalizing smells. Moving down the hall, Luigi saw an offshoot corridor with a couple of public bathrooms, which was to be expected, and at the end was a double door that presumably led to the restaurant dining room.

The smell was nigh overwhelming the closer Luigi got to the dining room, and Luigi clutched his stomach as it growled ever louder. He had to get a hold of himself, there could be anything on the other side of that door between him and the food! For that matter, the food itself may be an illusion too. He had to calm down. Helenus had said he was too much like Mario, but in this they different. Luigi didn’t just go jumping into things. He was careful. And so, carefully, Luigi pried the door open and peered through the crack.

There wasn’t much to see. Just the hostess stand. No ghosts or food in sight so far. And yet, the delicious smells somehow became even stronger. He could just make out that there was low, flickering, candlelight coming from the dining room to the right. Nothing to say the room was dangerous, but nothing to say it was safe, either. Luigi would have to bite the bullet on this one. He edged his way through the door, wincing at the squeak and letting it close as softly behind him as possible. Keeping close to the wall, Luigi poked his nose around the corner to peer into the room beyond.

The first thing he saw was a large buffet spread out along the window, covered in everything from spare ribs to roast beef, collard greens to mashed potatoes, and pies to cookies. He took note that it all looked unnaturally perfect, with thick, hot, white steam rising from it. Definitely too good to be true. There was no way that could be anything less than a trap. Urgh, but it looked too good! Luigi found himself taking a couple of unconscious steps toward the table before shaking his head and tearing his attention away from the feast before him. Instead, he noticed the swinging door to the kitchen across from him. Maybe he could find an apron in there, at least. An apron was less likely to be booby trapped than the food.

As Luigi made a move for the door across from him, his hair suddenly stood on end and he stopped dead. Something felt off. There had been some candles on the buffet table, but there was light coming from the other side of the room, too. Luigi turned his head slowly. There, on the other side of the room, were a number of round tables pushed up against the wall. One, however, was dragged out and set up. A clean, white, tablecloth was laid carefully over it, set with a delicate silver candelabra as a centerpiece to equally elegant dishware and cutlery. Sitting at the table was Helenus Gravely, grinning enough to make his fangs fully visible. He was waving as though he had been waiting for Luigi, which was likely the case.

“Hello there, handsome. Care to take a seat?” Helenus gestured to the empty chair at the table, which immediately moved on its own to pull itself out for him.

“NOPE!” Luigi turned on his heel and went scrambling back the way he had come, only to have a ghostly cage of energy slam down in front of his exit! Luigi turned again and ran for the kitchen door, only to have the same energy cage slam down in front of that one too. He was trapped! Trapped in a room with a ton of delicious food, and a very attractive man!

... Why was this a problem again?

Oh right, because the man was an evil ghost, and the food was probably also a trap. Unless, maybe, it was just _bait_ to get him _into_ this trap, in which case maybe the food itself was fine? Or maybe it was just another illusion. It didn't seem to be disappearing now that the trap had closed, though.

Luigi turned to Helenus and swallowed, aiming his Poltergust at the ghost and starting up the suction. He began moving slowly toward the ghost just as Helenus jolted out of his seat and waved his arms in front of him frantically.

“Now, now! No need to-“

“THIS IS FOR MARIO!” Luigi yelled, charging down Helenus and flashing his strobe light along the way. Helenus covered his eyes with his hand and began flying around the room, occasionally shouting for Luigi to stop. Luigi, meanwhile, first managed to suck the tablecloth and silverware off the table, and then knocked over the chairs as he chased down his quarry.

After kicking a fallen chair aside, Luigi lost track of Helenus for a moment. After spinning in a circle, he noticed him with his waist halfway through the buffet table. With a battle cry, Luigi ran toward that table too. He sucked up as much of the the weird, perfect food into the Poltergust as he could. He was sad to see it go, but at least it couldn’t tempt him anymore. As he chased, Luigi started to find it odd that Helenus wasn’t fighting back at all. Luigi was under the impression that Helenus was a very powerful ghost, but Luigi didn’t really feel in danger at the moment. In fact, as he managed to close Helenus into a corner, he was faced with the ghost waving a white flag in his face. He couldn’t just ignore a white flag. He was supposed to be the good guy after all. Biting his lip, Luigi powered down the vacuum but kept it trained on the handsome specter.

“What do you want, Helenus?” Luigi asked, careful not to make eye contact, lest he get distracted.

Helenus breathed a sigh of relief, and held his hands up in plain sight as though that proved his innocence. “I just wanted to talk to you over a nice meal. I thought you would be hungry, although I guess not, what with the mess you made of the buffet.” The ghost sneered at the half-toppled table and destroyed bits of food littering the floor. Luigi felt a tug of remorse in his belly, and he hoped it was just because he was disappointed to have missed out on a possible meal.

“What did you want to talk about?” Luigi asked, trying to sound as brave as possible, his fingers twitching on the Poltergust's trigger.

Helenus’s tongue darted out and ran along his plump lips, and Luigi couldn’t help but track it. Damn it, why did he have to be so nice to look at? “I want to help you, Luigi.”

Luigi narrowed his eyes. “Why would you help me? You trapped me here, and took my family away!”

Helenus waved a dismissing hand. “Can’t we let bygones be bygones? That was so long ago, my love.”

“It was like, two hours ago, max!”

“Two hours, two centuries, time is meaningless when you’re made of ectoplasm!” Luigi glared at Helenus silently until the ghost rolled his eyes. “Fine, fine, would you believe that I just don’t want to help King Boo anymore?”

“Why would you not want to help him? You’re the one who freed him in the first place!”

“Huh? Oh, um…” Helenus pulled on a lock of his hair. He seemed to be thinking hard on his words. “Yes I… admired King Boo’s… work? I admired him, and I thought we could work together, but turns out that King Boo doesn’t like to share credit.” Helenus gave Luigi a sheepish look. “So I got demoted from hotel owner, to hotel assistant manager. King Boo’s power was simply too overwhelming! He really _is_ a most powerful and worthy King. You’re quite lucky to have been in his presence before, you know!”

Luigi snorted. “Yeah, sure! I really appreciated the way he tried to imprison me in a painting forever. You’re being _awfully_ flattering towards someone you want me to believe you’ve turned against, you know.”

Helenus looked a bit taken aback, and rubbed the back of his head, looking anywhere but at Luigi. “Ah, well, yes… he is big and powerful! But too much so, and I want to stop him umm… yes… that’s right… and I think you are the only one that can! So I want to help you out, so that I can go back to my peaceful afterlife running my haunted hotel without all this, uh, kidnapping and… whatever else it is you’re objecting to. World domination? That sounds like something you wouldn't like.”

Luigi finally lowered the vacuum hose. The ghost was still suspicious, but Luigi did think he was sincere about not wanting to hurt Luigi, at least for now. “You promise that if I help you defeat King Boo, you will help me get my family back, and free us from this hotel?” Luigi asked carefully, holding out his hand to Helenus as a gesture of good will.

Helenus looked at the hand and his lips split into the most terrifyingly wide grin yet. He grabbed Luigi’s hand with glistening eyes. “I promise, on the name and honor of Helenus Gravely!”

“Right,” Luigi said, shaking his head as he pulled Helenus up off of the floor. The ghost seemed surprised at the help, although Luigi was hardly inconvenienced. Like all ghosts, Helenus didn’t really have physical weight to him unless, presumably, he put the effort in. Ghosts could generate force if they had the energy, but gravity didn’t work on them the same way. “So if we’re on the same side, there’s no need for this, right?” Luigi waved at the energy caging the doors out of the room.

Helenus was still staring at their joined hands, and looked startled to be asked a question. “Oh, right, no need!” Helenus pulled away from Luigi to clap his hands twice, and the energy walls vanished. Luigi let out a sigh of relief, it was good to have an exit, no matter the situation.

At that moment, Luigi’s stomach began to growl again. He laughed awkwardly and glanced back at the ruined buffet with a pained expression. “Ah, so that food… it was real?”

Helenus glared, straightening his suit jacket. “Of course it was real! I’m a Ki- uh, I’m a responsible hotel owner. I can afford to feed a human guest if I want to!”

Luigi wanted to point out that he had no reason not to think that it was a trap or another illusion, but he was starting to feel a bit faint from lack of energy. He hadn’t slept properly in that bathtub, he hadn’t eaten since early in the morning, and he wasn’t even dressed properly. If he didn’t eat something soon, he would probably get sick, and would be no help to anyone. “Um, you wouldn’t happen to have any more food in the kitchen, would you?”

Helenus suddenly he seemed to completely brighten up, and shot almost a foot into the air, grabbing Luigi’s arm and dragging him toward the kitchen door. Luigi nearly tripped as he tried to keep up and winced as they approached the kitchen doors. He gasped as he was pulled right through them without them moving an inch. It wasn’t a pleasant experience, it felt like going through an icy shower.

“Yikes, don’t do that again!” Luigi shivered, shaking loose from Helenus’s hand so that he could hold onto himself. His irritation was forgotten, however, as he followed his nose to the kitchen counter. There, dishes full of the same foods from the buffet were lined up, ready to go out into the dining hall. Beside them was a ghostly chef, chopping vegetables and humming to himself, apparently oblivious to the fact his boss had just entered the room. Luigi gave a hesitant look toward Helenus, and the ghost host shooed him toward the table.

“Well, okay then!” Luigi let himself grin as he raced for the food, grabbing a plate of spare ribs and shoving one in his mouth. He groaned obscenely as he licked the soft meat and juices from the bone. “Ah, so good!” Then, Luigi screamed as the chef leapt over the counter top and started beating him over the head with a frying pan.

“AH! STOP IT!” Luigi wailed, flashing his strobe light to freeze the ghost while Luigi ran back across the room, looking forlornly at the dropped plate of ribs rolling across the ground. He was about to turn on his Poltergust when an icy chill raced around the room, making his skin prickle with goosebumps. A dark aura had overtaken the kitchen.

“ _Quelle? Qui êtes vous?”_ The chef sounded rather alarmed, and Luigi swung his head around to see Helenus, his aura pulsing purple and crackling with electricity, looming over the chef.

“ ** _You hurt Luigi_** ,” Helenus hissed, and Luigi’s whole body shuddered to hear his name come out of Helenus’s mouth in such a tone. He sounded furious. Luigi held up a finger and made to interject, but his jaw clamped shut as Helenus grabbed the chef and the ghost's mouth unhinged, wider and wider, his tongue lolling out and wrapping around the chef's body like a coiling snake. The chef’s screams grew louder and Luigi let out a yelp, covering his eyes at the last moment as the chef was dragged off his feet by the tongue.

He may not have seen it, but he still heard the screams cut off, followed by a loud gulp and smacking lips. The horribly prickly aura dissipated. Luigi shuddered and jumped backward when he felt a weight press up against his hat. Luigi peeked between his fingers to see Helenus holding out a plate with a perfect slice of apple pie on it. He seemed to be extremely pleased with himself. “Well, since I ate the chef, it’s only polite that I offer you something, as well!”

Luigi numbly took the plate, and then the fork Helenus handed to him next. He slowly ate the pie, staring off into the distance as he tried to process the last few traumatic minutes. He didn’t even react when Helenus dabbed a napkin on his cheek to catch the crumbs.

“Hmm, something is missing…” Helenus tapped his foot in mid-air. “Oh, ice cream! Humans eat pie with ice cream!” The ghost flew over to the walk-in freezer and opened it. Luigi didn’t register the strange creatures moving inside as Helenus rooted around for the tub of vanilla, but he did feel the draft of cold air blow past his bare legs. Remembering part of his quest from earlier, Luigi put his plate down on the counter again and pulled an apron from the rack near the stove, putting it over his head and tying it up behind him.

“Are you going to cook something? Was the food not good enough?” Luigi turned to see Helenus holding a dripping scoop of ice cream in his bare hand, clearly intending to slap it on his half eaten slice of pie just like that. He also seemed a bit annoyed, his eyes darting to the abandoned frying pan on the floor.

“Uh, no, it was good! Very good!” Luigi waved his hands in protest, he definitely didn’t want to see Helenus in a rage again. Even if, disturbing as it was, he was a bit flattered that Helenus came to his defense like that. No one ever really protected Luigi before, except for Mario, and even then he was often left aside in favor of Peach if she was in danger too.

Not that this was a thought to pursue at the moment. Luigi gestured to the apron. “It’s just cold, and well, since you stole my clothes…” Luigi broke off and then scowled. “Hey, if you’re on my side, give me back my clothes!”

“I, uh, can’t. King Boo, um… burned them?” Helenus looked at his nails, letting the scoop of ice cream fall on the floor. Well, it was enough of a mess down there already that probably didn’t matter.

“Why would King Boo-? Oh, never mind,” Luigi shook his head. “The point is, an apron is better than rags!”

Helenus squinted at Luigi, eyes travelling up and down his body enough times that Luigi thought he would start blushing again. Then, the ghost gave a nod.

“You want new clothes!” he stated, as though he were solving a mystery.

“I mean, I wouldn’t mind- ah!” Luigi gasped as Helenus grabbed Luigi’s hand again, and started to lift them into the air to phase through the ceiling. Luigi shrieked and kicked away from Helenus, pointing the Poltergust at the ghost again when he stuck the top half of his head back through the ceiling to glare at him.

“Don’t pull me through things! It feels weird!” Luigi whined. He watched Helenus’s eyes roll hard and the head vanished. A second later, a glimmering elevator button, like the ones E. Gadd had stolen, popped down through the ceiling to bounce on the floor. On it, the number 3 was emblazoned.

“Uh, I guess I’ll meet you there?” Luigi muttered, pushing the button into his pocket and making his way out of the kitchen, through the destroyed dining room, and into the hallway beyond. When he got back out to the lobby, Luigi saw Polterpup chasing what looked like a cat ghost around the room. The dog barked especially hard whenever the cat got near the portrait of the scary lady. Polterpup was likely fine on his own, he seemed busy. Luigi could only wonder what Helenus had waiting for him as he resolved himself to follow this elevator button to wherever it happened to take him next.


	6. An Uncomfortable Shopping Spree

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Personally, I'm starting to warm up to King Boo's humansona, but that is not in any way compromising my ultimate goal of Boo-sex. Is the ooc off-putting to anyone? I'm trying to balance the crazed, selfish villain with some cute enthusiasm so Luigi has some actual reasons to like the guy other than just a pretty face. 
> 
> I mean I'm still writing this for fun and I mean I won't necessarily change anything but it's good to know what's working in a story like this. But any comments are good. Love me them comments. Thanks to everyone who's commented so far!

**6 An Uncomfortable Shopping Spree**

Luigi stepped out of the elevator on the third floor, half-expecting Helenus to be standing in front of him and tapping his foot impatiently on the other side. He was surprised how disappointed he felt when this wasn’t the case. Instead, he faced another atrium-like space, with washrooms on one side of the room and on the other side a revolving door like what one might find at an upscale mall, or an office building. Luigi didn’t think that Helenus was heading to the bathrooms… probably… so that left one route to take. Luigi adjusted his apron as best he could, momentarily wishing he had thought to grab a second one to cover his backside, and headed through the revolving door. It was easy to tell that this was the retail area of the hotel. It wasn’t overly large, only about the size of the main lobby downstairs. Luigi quickly picked out a salon and a gift shop filled with knick-knacks with his flashlight. Between them loomed a broken down escalator. Backing up to the far wall, Luigi’s flashlight also gave him just enough of an outline to see two shops above on the landing above as well. All the shops had their shutters closed tight. No sign of Helenus.

That wasn't much reason to just wait around, though. If there were gift shops, there may be souvenir t-shirts or something, which would help with the clothing situation. The shops on the first floor didn’t look very helpful, so Luigi started to climb the frozen escalator. About a third of the way up, the lights in the shopping center flickered on, and the elevator jerked to life. Luigi let out a cry as he toppled forward onto the moving steps, his apron twisting around under him enough to undo the knot Luigi had tied behind him, leaving it hung around neck like a bib. After a moment spent figuring out what had just happened, Luigi tried to get to his feet. That attempt ended fast as the apron twisted around his neck, choking him.

Luigi’s eyes nearly popped when he realized that the apron had somehow gotten caught under the step in front of him. He was heading slowly but surely to the top of the escalator, and if the apron was entirely sucked under the step there... he had to get free, fast! But the material of the apron was thick, he couldn’t tear it, and he was starting to panic.

“HELP!” Luigi yelled. “HEEEEELP!”

“Luigi? What are you doing? Look, I got the power back on!” Luigi twisted his head, hands still grappling with the apron as he looked up to see Helenus Gravely at the top of the escalator. The ghost seemed more confused than concerned about Luigi's predicament.

“I’m stuck!” Luigi managed to gasp out, eyes widening as he was already halfway up. If he didn't get free soon, there may just be one more ghost in this hotel!

Helenus finally seemed to grasp the severity of the situation. “Oh! Uh- right! So I should…?” Helenus flew down to Luigi and grabbed the apron, pulling on it hard, though that didn't budge the material from the escalator and only served to choke Luigi more. He stopped when the man started turning blue and smacking the hand rail next to him. Helenus looked rapidly from Luigi to the approaching doom before him. “Er, sh-should I just turn the power back off?”

“There’s no time for that!” Luigi rasped, fighting to get air back into his lungs.

“Well I’m not exactly used to saving humans from certain death, am I?!” Helenus was finally starting to sound panicked, which wasn’t helping Luigi’s blood pressure any.

“You have to cut it off, obviously!” Luigi struggled to keep his cool. “Do you have anything sharp, like a knife?”

“Are you an idiot?! Why would I need to carry a knife when my fangs are- my fangs!” In a moment, Helenus’s mouth was suddenly way closer to Luigi’s neck than it had any business being.

“Wha- what are you- oh!” Luigi gasped as he felt Helenus’s oddly hot breath along his jugular.

“Hold still!” Helenus hissed. Luigi’s heart hammered in his chest as a hot, slick, far-too-long tongue ran along his neck. Then there was a loud ripping noise that sounded off just as Luigi's hand hit the tile floor at the top of the escalator. The next couple of seconds were a blur as he was yanked up from the ground, the torn apron falling free as Luigi was pulled up bridal style in Helenus’s arms. He was safely carried away from the escalator, Luigi’s arms automatically clinging to Helenus’s neck in fear as he watched the remains of the apron get effortlessly pulled under the floor.

“Oh my God…” Luigi groaned, closing his eyes and shivering. That was way, WAY too close! Luigi felt Helenus adjust his hold on him, and cracked an eye open to see Helenus leaning into his neck again. Luigi was lost for words as the ghost seemed to inhale. He was… smelling him? Without warning, Helenus’s too-long tongue lolled out of his mouth and licked across Luigi’s neck again.

“AH! STOP IT!” Luigi jackknifed in Helenus’s arms and ended up hitting the floor hard. “Ow, ow, ow…”

“Why would you do that?! No wonder you got caught in the moving stairs, you keep getting yourself into trouble!”

Luigi rubbed his ass as he staggered to his feet. “You licked my neck! Why would you do THAT?”

Helenus held up a finger and opened his mouth, then closed it, and did have the decency to look a little embarrassed. “I… may have briefly lost control. A little. But it’s your fault for smelling so delicious!”

Luigi grimaced and staggered over to the closest metal bench to rest for a minute. That was a lot of physical assault over a short period of time. The metal was cold against his rear, but after how hard he hit the floor that was actually sort of nice. He sat in silence for a bit as Helenus simply looked at him, fidgeting, apparently unsure what he was supposed to do now. Luigi glanced at the ghost, and honestly, it was sort of cute how lost he looked. He obviously didn’t mean to put Luigi in danger, and he DID save him. He was a bit weird but, well, when had Luigi met a ghost that wasn’t weird? Or a human for that matter.

“So… you said something about new clothes?”

Helenus perked up. “Oh, yes, of course!” Helenus floated over to the second floor gift shop that Luigi had seen before. The ghost floated right through the shutters and unlocked them from the inside, pushing them aside enough for Luigi to get through, and then floating back further into the store. Luigi got up and followed Helenus into the shop, entering just in time for the lights to flip on, showing off the displays of vacation wear.

“See? Plenty of clothes in here!” Helenus sounded very pleased with himself as he grabbed a yellow summer dress off of a mannequin and waved it in Luigi’s direction.

“It’s nice, but not very practical…” Luigi mumbled as he wandered over to the t-shirts and grabbed a green one that was fairly long.

“Hmph,” Helenus threw the dress aside. “Well, you could always go naked again. Nothing to get torn, then!”

Luigi sighed as he grabbed a pair of jean shorts. It looked as though this store went out of business in the summertime, as there didn't seem to be any bottoms longer than mid-thigh length. “I’m not going to fight ghosts naked. I have a hard enough time getting respect as it is.”

Helenus scoffed loudly enough for Luigi to turn and raise an eyebrow at him. The ghost had his arms folded. “Right, the great hero Mario’s brother, defeater of King Boo and his army of ghouls, doesn’t get respect?”

It was Luigi’s turn to scoff. “I spent all of Mario’s Odyssey with a red balloon strapped to my back, running a mini game where my brother would hide a balloon, and later find and pop it. I haven’t been on any solo adventures other than the couple of times King Boo kidnapped Mario. If I’m involved at all I’m always just… the second player.” Luigi’s shoulders drooped. “I’m not… I’m used to it. It's only natural, Mario's just more charismatic and pro-active. I’m second choice, always have been. Least I can do is keep my clothes on.”

Helenus didn't seem to like seeing Luigi so defeated. “Well… I respect you.” Luigi laughed. “I DO! You’ve always been a worthy opponent! Uh, to King Boo! Who I know a lot about, and therefore also know about the great adversary that always stands in his way!”

“Great adversary, huh?”

“Of course!” Helenus dramatically raised his arms, as though that demonstrated his point. “Is Mario not the supposed greatest hero in all the world? And yet I- uh, King Boo conquered him! Imprisoned him! Only then to be soundly defeated by the younger brother. Maybe the first time that happened it was a fluke, perhaps King Boo simply underestimated you too much. But to beat him a second time when I- HE knew what he was dealing with?” Helenus grabbed Luigi’s chin and looked straight into his eyes. Luigi saw the sincerity there and could hardly breathe. “There is no doubt that you, Luigi, are worthy of the highest respect.”

“Oh… uh… wow. Um, th-thank you?” Luigi said awkwardly.

Then, Helenus kissed him. It wasn’t a long kiss, just a press of lips on lips before Helenus drew back to see the absolutely dazed look on Luigi’s face. Luigi wasn’t even sure he had felt the kiss as more than a tingle of electricity.

“Wow,” Luigi managed to get out before blushing furiously and turning away from the ghost. “You shouldn’t do that!”

“Why not? You liked it, and we’re on the same side, right?” Luigi could hear the grin in his words.

“I’m not even dressed, turn around so I can change!” Luigi gestured to the clothes in his hands, only to squeak as Helenus snatched them right out of his grasp. “What are you doing? Stop stealing my clothes!”

“Urgh, but these clothes aren't good enough for you, Luigi! We can do much better!” Helenus’s eyes flashed red and suddenly the clothes were on fire, burnt to ashes in seconds.

“Hey!”

“Oh, they weren’t really _your_ clothes this time, anyway! This is my hotel, and my clothes, and so I get to plan your outfit! Now let’s see…”

Seeing there was no stopping the ghost, Luigi resigned himself to the odd situation. “Just don't pick anything red.” Luigi hugged himself a little. He was only getting these clothes out of Helenus’s hospitality, he supposed. He didn't have much right to complain. Even if Helenus was the one that trapped him in this situation to start with. Actually, shouldn’t that mean he should be letting Luigi take what he wanted, since he was the one who stole all of his clothes in the first place? Luigi was about to make that point when Helenus’s face turned enough for Luigi to catch sight of those perfect ghostly lips again. Somehow, he found that he couldn’t bring himself to protest. Especially as Helenus got so visibly excited when he pulled out a bright green tennis uniform.

“There! This will fit your figure way better! Plus, it’s athletic, so how could it not be practical?” Helenus seemed so genuinely happy to have found ‘appropriate’ clothes, Luigi couldn’t help the surge of something, dare he call it affection, in his chest.

“Uh, well, it’s not bad,” Luigi admitted as he took the matching t-shirt and spandex shorts from the ghost, and determined that they were indeed his size. There was a white stripe running down the side of both pieces, and a little star on each of the sleeves.

“They’re more than not bad!” Helenus insisted, “They’re perfect! I command you to put them on immediately!” Luigi’s eyes narrowed. “Um… pleeeease?” Helenus rolled the word around as if he were just learning the taste of it.

“Okay,” Luigi turned around and criss-crossed his arms to pull the remainder of Peach’s dress off of his chest. “No peeking!”

Luigi pulled off the top part of the dress, which was pretty easy to tear given how many threads were already snapped. Then he untied the remains of the skirt, letting it fall to the floor as well. He pulled the shorts up first, and found himself enjoying how tight and flexible they were, like a second skin almost. They left little to the imagination though, that was a bit embarrassing. The shirt looked like it would be long enough to mostly cover them though. There was, however, a problem with putting the shirt on.

“Oh, um, I have to… “ Luigi ran his fingers along the straps of his Poltergust. He wouldn’t really feel safe taking his Poltergust off at the best of times, and there was a ghost literally right behind him!

“Yes? Go on, Luigi. We’re on the same side, after all!” Helenus followed the statement with a giggle. Luigi realized that Helenus was absolutely watching him change. 

Luigi turned back around and tried to ignore how Helenus’s eyes immediately traveled down to his groin and stayed there. “Back up.”

“What?” Helenus frowned.

“Back up. All the way down the hall to the far wall. Stay where I can see you.”

Helenus’s jaw dropped and he placed a hand over where his heart would be. “But Luigi! Don’t you trust me?”

“Back up.”

“I won’t do anything! I promise on my name of Helenus Gravely!”

“Back up, or I’m turning it on!”

Helenus did something peculiar then. His face turned a number of colors. His hands clenched, and unclenched. His kicked at the ground a couple of times, and the temperature in the room seemed to drop several degrees. Wails and eerie moans could be heard from the far corners of the room, getting louder and louder.

Luigi held up the Poltergust and readied the trigger. He was sweating again. “I mean it!”

“FINE!” And with that, the wails stopped, the temperature returned to normal, and Helenus stormed over to the far wall. He leaned against it hard, with his arms crossed, and an adorable pout on his face. Eyes never leaving the ghost, Luigi worked very fast. He took off the Poltergust, eyes still on Helenus. The ghost didn’t move. He picked up the t-shirt, eyes still on Helenus. The ghost didn’t move. Luigi moved the shirt above his head. Still nothing. Luigi pulled the shirt over his head, obscuring his eyes for less than a second.

Helenus was, abruptly, right in front of his face.

“AH!” Luigi jolted backwards, and found himself snatched up tightly into Helenus’s arms, even as he fought to pull his t-shirt down over his stomach.

“HA! You really thought you could escape me, with only a mere room between us?” Helenus laughed darkly as he began floating up into the air, leaving the Poltergust behind.

Luigi was devastated, and thrashed in Helenus’s grip. “I knew it! I knew it was all a trap! I knew you didn’t really…” Luigi covered his mouth quickly to stop a sob from leaking through. He was so stupid! He never should have put down his only defense! Now he was captured! He would be dragged before King Boo, locked in a painting like Mario.

Suddenly, Helenus let out a scream of pain, and Luigi was dropped like a hot potato. He hit the ground hard and, without missing a beat, scrambled to his Poltergust. He strapped it on and had it aimed at Helenus before he even realized what had saved him. When he did fully look at Helenus, however, he saw the ghost was howling with rage and shaking his leg. Polterpup was waving from it like the world's most adorable white flag. Polterpup had saved him!

“Good doggie!” Luigi said with a nod as he turned his vacuum on full blast. Polterpup let go of its prize and ran to Luigi’s side as he advanced upon Helenus, who was frustratingly waving an actual white flag again!

“Alright, you win! Can you really blame me for trying?” Helenus whimpered as Luigi reluctantly let the Poltergust power down. Why did the good guy always have to accept the white flag? He was going to have to talk to Mario about this after he rescued him.

“Yes, I can blame you for _trying_!” At least the good guy could still be mad about it. “I put down my weapon for a second, and you tried to kidnap me and take me to King Boo and have me imprisoned forever!”

“Nnnnooooo,” Helenus drew out, tapping his fingers together. “I was just going to take you up to the Master Suite, like I promised earlier! Uh, because we could fight King Boo there? Or have sex. I mean, I was mostly hoping for the second one.”

Luigi’s face twisted and he slapped his hand over his eyes. “Are you serious?! What is WRONG with you? You don’t kidnap someone to do either of those things! Don’t lie to me! You’re not trying to help me at all!”

“Um… depends on your definition of help?” Helenus said most unhelpfully.

“Just get out of here,” Luigi muttered, “I’ll find my own way upstairs.”

“Eh? But I can still be of assistance! I know this hotel! I can-“

“I SAID GO!” Luigi snapped, turning on the Poltergust again. Helenus stood just out of range of the suction and bit his lip for a moment.

“The security guard has the button for the next floor,” Helenus said finally. Then he sailed up through the ceiling above, and was gone. Luigi sank to his knees, absently petting Polterpup, who had snuggled up beside him, trying to lick Luigi’s exhausted tears away. So much for getting help in this. He raised his head enough to take note of the sign for the security guard’s office ahead of him. He had his Poltergust now, so he may as well find out if Helenus was telling the truth about this, at least. Luigi wiped his eyes, stood up, straightened his t-shirt over his very tight tennis shorts, and squared up his shoulders to fight the next ghost he saw.


	7. An Unexpected Concert

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I was going to write a poem/song for this but I had a brain fart so I fucked off and did this instead ha ha ha idk King Boo is getting a bit desperate at this point the poor misguided bastard

**7 An Unexpected Concert**

The ghostly security guard didn’t seem to put up much of a fight. It was a wonder why he would have been put in charge of an elevator at all, since he seemed much more interested in eating spectral donuts in his office than securing anything. When approached, the ghost fled, and Luigi had to chase him around the shops a bit. Once he caught up, however, Luigi was quick to subdue and suck him into his Poltergust. When he was left looking at the button for the fourth floor shining on the ground, however, he wasn’t really sure what to do next. He supposed the only real choice he had was to go on to the fourth floor, but what good would it do? Helenus was likely there waiting for him, probably with yet another trap. Luigi had finally started to warm up to the ghost man, and then he just had to prove he was evil, like all ghosts.

Luigi let out a heavy sigh and glanced down to see Polterpup looking back up adoringly at him. Then he let out a friendly bark and vanished down through the floor. Alright, so maybe only most ghosts were evil, and Polterpup might just be the only exception to the rule. Luigi was grateful for it, of course. If it wasn’t for Polterpup, who knew what terrible fate would have befallen him by then? He surely would have been taken to the Master Suite and defiled by Helenus.

Luigi covered his crotch with his hands as his cheeks reddened. Why was he like this? Being defiled wasn't a good thing! Helenus was evil! And lied to him! And betrayed him! But he was still hot. And also somewhat enthusiastic and cute. That shouldn’t matter! Anyway, there was no way to know if Helenus was even telling the truth about his intentions. He could just as easily have been carrying him to King Boo himself to be entombed in paint for eternity. Luigi needed to cool down and get back to work. He had to save Mario! That was what mattered right now. If it meant facing down Helenus again, he would just have to try not to let the ghost's handsome face distract him again.

The plumber headed down the escalator that still chugged slowly along, the power having never been cut again after Helenus got it working. He shivered, recalling his recent brush with death. Helenus _had_ saved his life. He didn’t have to do that. Surely King Boo wouldn’t care if he was trapped in a painting or dead, right? But Helenus had rescued him. Would an evil ghost rescue a human in distress? It didn’t really make sense. Maybe… maybe Helenus really _was_ interested in Luigi? It seemed impossible, but the evidence seemed to point that way. Even so, why did the ghost think he had to kidnap Luigi to show his feelings? If he just confessed properly, Luigi would have definitely at least considered him!

As Luigi made his way back into the elevator and screwed in the button for the fourth floor, he wondered if maybe Helenus was just really bad at flirting. It seemed strange that such a handsome ghost, and a successful businessman on top of that, would have so few people skills, but it wasn’t impossible. Maybe he deserved a second chance?

“Gah, no way I can give him a second chance! He is a kidnapper, and a thief, and working for King Boo!” Luigi scolded himself out loud, but somehow that didn’t make him feel any more resolute about things.

The elevator doors opened, and Luigi found himself in another hallway, this time with a sign on a sandwich board near the door. The sign labeled this floor as the concert hall, and displayed a picture of a very fancy grand piano. On the other side of the hall from the sign, a large tuba was on display. Luigi remembered mentions of a concert hall from the brochure, it had been touted as a frequent host to touring musicians as well as a prestigious house band. Luigi would have thought such a place would have been among the first things to close as the abandoned hotel lost business, but it seemed as though this floor didn’t look as run down as the lower floors of the hotel. There was a layer of dust on everything, but the red carpet on the floor was still thick and plush under Luigi’s shoes as he made his way past pictures and displays of different instruments such as violins and horns, all intact and still shining as though someone was still caring for them as the rest of the building slowly crumbled around them. There were scatterings of ancient popcorn lying around the floor, and drink cups littered around from the hall’s last concert. It didn’t look as though anyone had enjoyed a show there in a very long time. But if that was the case, why did Luigi smell popcorn?

At the end of the hall, just past the large brown doors leading to the hall proper, Luigi could see a single, clearly very functional popcorn cart. The red and white striped awning was a tell-tale beacon toward a glass canister full to the brim with popcorn, and a single overflowing carton sitting on the tray to the side of it. The precious snack was steaming, coated in salt and butter, and generally the most tempting popcorn that Luigi had ever seen. He cautiously approached the popcorn, ready for a trap to spring, until he could feel the heat the machine emanated tickling his nose. He noticed that next to the single carton of hot popcorn was a small note card. Luigi picked it up and read:

‘ _To my dearest Luigi,_

_I realize that I have offended you with my display of affection, but I say that it’s time to put our past behind us and try again. Please accept this peace offering of delicious popcorn, ~~which is absolutely not drugged in any way~~ , and come and enjoy the show! I promise you’ll think differently of me after!'_

At the bottom of the note was a nearly unintelligible scribble that Luigi had to assume was a signature, but was that an H or a K? It was hard to make out. But it didn’t take a genius to know that this was from Helenus. Luigi couldn’t believe that ghost would call his attempted kidnap a display of affection! Let alone say they should try again. Try again to do what, exactly? Be partners in taking out King Boo? Or did he mean try again is in... A vision of Helenus kissing Luigi in the gift shop crossed his mind and it took a moment to shake that away. Luigi looked back at the popcorn with hesitation. The food from before had been real, and he hadn’t had very much of it, just half a piece of pie and a spare rib. He couldn’t say he wasn’t interested in a snack. The crossed out mention of the popcorn absolutely not being drugged was a bit suspicious, but being suspicious of food the last time had resulted in not getting anything to eat. It looked so good, and Helenus HAD saved his life before, so it probably wasn’t poisoned. Maybe if he ate it slow, he would notice if he was getting drugged, and could just stop before it got too bad. Maybe.

Luigi took a piece of popcorn and sniffed it. It smelled good. He touched it to the tip of his tongue. It tasted alright. He popped it in his mouth and chewed slowly. He waited to see if his tongue started tingling, or if he felt weirdly warm or if he head swam at all, but it seemed okay. With a shrug, Luigi took the carton of popcorn, and headed for the concert hall while stuffing his face. He might as well see what Helenus was planning to do to 'make this up to him' before he dismissed him outright. He pushed open the door to see a grand stage sprawling across the far end of the room, flanked with rich red curtains and displaying a large grand piano set up on center stage. Lined up facing the stage were three sections of seats folding theater seats. The house lights were currently on, but there was no one living or dead in sight.

Luigi made his way down the aisle slowly, unsure what he was supposed to do. He could climb up on the stage and try exploring over there, but he had a feeling that Helenus probably wanted him to take a seat in the audience. Should he do what Helenus wanted, thought? It _would_ be easier to eat this delicious popcorn if he was seated properly. Apparently that reasoning was enough to make Luigi give in and sit in a left hand aisle seat the middle section. As soon as his butt hit the chair, the lights went out. Luigi jumped and fumbled for his flashlight, but before he could turn it on a spotlight fell on the stage directly over the grand piano.

A purple ghost that Luigi had never seen before was sitting at the keys. It reminded Luigi a bit of an old painting he once saw of Amadeus Mozart, though in life he was probably a bit more contemporary. The ghost stretched out its fingers and set them on the keys. The music that began to play was an eerie tune, reminiscent of a song from a very old opera, though something about it sounded off, as though it were coming from an old record player instead of happening live in front of him. It was a bit weird, and made Luigi wonder if any music played by a ghost could be considered 'live'. He wasn't able to think on this long, however, as the piano was getting louder, prompting Luigi to rudely cover his ears. He could swear he felt the seat under him shake with each hammer of the keys. Then the seat abruptly began to lift off the floor, causing Luigi to yelp and drop his popcorn all over the floor.

“ **ALRIGHT, THAT’S ENOUGH**!” Helenus’s disembodied voice rang around the room over the din. Luigi’s seat abruptly dropped down a few inches to the floor, making Luigi's teeth click shut painfully on his tongue, and the lights went off again. There was a loud clattering sound and some odd, hard hits on that piano keys. This was followed by raspy screams, some dissonant hammering, and general sounds of a scuffle. Luigi grit his teeth, nursed his sore tongue, and clung to the armrests until his knuckles turned white. The fighting increased in volume, with even the jarring whirl of a chainsaw joining the mix. Luigi was about to go for his flashlight when the spotlight went on above the piano again. This time it was Helenus at the keys, appearing to breathe hard as his hair and clothes lay askew, spectral sweat pouring down his face. The piano looked scuffed up as well, a couple of its keys were now on the floor. There was no sign of the previous pianist. Helenus looked directly at Luigi with a shit eating grin of triumph.

“Hello, beloved! Never fear, I would never allow anyone to serenade you but me!”

“Er, great…” Luigi said, giving him a shaky thumbs up. He wasn’t absolutely sure, but it certainly _seemed_ as though Helenus had saved him again. Maybe Luigi should just be grateful to have gotten out of the situation without a fight. He certainly didn't want to have to fight a killer piano if he didn't have to. 

The ghost host turned back to the piano and cleared his throat. “This one goes out to Luigi, my beautiful future husband!”

“WHAT?!” Luigi nearly jumped out of his seat, but Helenus began to play and well… Luigi could admit the tune was catchy. And familiar. Too familiar. Oh no. 

“ _When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie that’s amore!”_ Helenus began to sing with much vibrato. He wasn’t exactly good, not exactly bad, but he was certainly enthusiastic. He also had what was probably the worst Italian accent Luigi had ever heard.

“Oh my God,” Luigi sank down in his seat as though this would make him less visible in the otherwise empty audience.

_“When the world seems to shine like you’ve had too much wine, that’s amore!”_

“This is because I’m Italian, isn’t it?” Luigi whispered, pulling off his hat to cover the lower half of his face in shame.

_“Bells will ring, ting-a-ling, ting-a-ling-a-ling, and you’ll sing vita bell! Hearts will play, tippy-tippy-tay, like a gay tarantella!”_

“This isn’t happening. Maybe that escalator killed me after all. I’m in hell now. This is hell.” Luigi muttered to himself fast under his hat, but he could not tear his eyes away as Helenus stood up from the piano, which continued to play by itself, and began to dance on the stage. He twirled and tap danced to the beat, an odd choice for the music. He was clearly a skilled dancer but did he really have to pick _this_ song? Luigi cringed.

“ _When the stars make you drool just like a pasta fazool, that’s amore!”_ Helenus winked at Luigi. Luigi covered his entire face with his hat. He absolutely could not take much more of this. “ _When you dance down the street, with a cloud at your feet, you’re in love!"_ Was he getting closer, or louder? Luigi wasn’t sure he had the courage to peek and find out. “ _When you walk down in a dream, but you know you’re not dreaming signore. Scuzza me, but you see, back in old Napoli, that’s amore!”_ Judging by the strange, hot breath on his face, Helenus had in fact gotten much closer. Luigi felt a tugging on his hat, and schooled his face into a glare before he let it be pulled gently down. 

“Are you enjoying the show?” Helenus asked, stooping low to look Luigi in the eyes. He really didn't have any concept of personal space.

“Your accent is terrible,” Luigi said flatly.

Helenus frowned. “So, you don’t like it?”

“I do not think you could have picked a more embarrassing song.”

“It’s Italian! You’re Italian! I’m appealing to your interests!” Helenus seemed rather put out, but Luigi wasn’t sure he wanted to throw him a bone here.

"It’sa super cliché, for one thing!” Luigi snapped. "For another, being Italian isn't an interest. You know that, right? Please tell me you know that."

Helenus stood up straight, and folded his arms. “Well at least I'm trying to make this relationship work! You could at least keep an open mind!”

Luigi sputtered. “Wha- what relationship?! I thought you were just trying to help me take down King Boo, because he took over your hotel?”

Helenus rolled his eyes and examined his nails. “Look, I don’t know why you’re making this so difficult. We both know you think I’m hot. Obviously I’ve made my intentions clear. You say the word, and I will make you forget about everything other than endless pleasure from now until eternity!”

Luigi leaned back in his seat and rubbed his temples. Okay, this was really happening. Helenus was into him. A handsome man- er- ghost, wanted to be with him. Forever, apparently. And yes, he was tempted. Who wouldn't be tempted by the promise of an eternity of pleasure spent with the prettiest man they had ever seen? But there were a few things that needed taking care of before he could even think about taking Helenus up on his offer. Maybe they could work out some compromises. Surely Helenus wouldn't _really_ lock him into the Master Suite forever if he actually liked him. If Luigi was really going to consider this, he would need to start standing up for himself straight away. He wasn't desperate, and if Princess Peach had taught him anything in her long relationship with Mario, it was the importance of setting firm boundaries early on.

“Alright, I’ll do it.”

Helenus looked a bit gobsmacked. “What- really?”

“But I have conditions.”

“Urgh, of course you do,” Helenus snorted, shaking his head, accepting that he should have expected as much. “What are they?”

“I’ll get rid of my Poltergust and um, _consider_ a romantic relationship-“

“And sexual!” Helenus reminded, licking his lips. Luigi wouldn’t be surprised if his cheeks were permanently red after this misadventure.

“Y-yes, and sexual. I'll **_consider_** it. Anyway…” Luigi cleared his throat, “But first, you HAVE to help me save Mario and the others, including E. Gadd, and get them out of the hotel safely.”

Helenus’s lips pressed together. He ran both hands through his hair and then clenched them, pulling hard on his white glowing locks. He was clearly trying to hold in his temper as he ground out, “Anything else?”

“And you have to help me lock King Boo away, hopefully for good this time."

Helenus stared at Luigi for a minute. Then, he quietly laid down on the floor in a coffin position. Luigi got out of his seat and stood over Helenus with a tinge of worry.

“Um, Helenus?” Luigi asked. The ghost’s mouth opened in a silent scream. Luigi couldn’t hear anything _per se,_ but his hair stood on end, and high above them the glass in the stage lights developed hair-line fractures. Luigi backed away from the ghost as Helenus sagged to the floor heavily, staring miserably up at the ceiling. “You know, I’m not asking for anything you didn’t agree to before!”

After a couple moments of silence, Helenus glanced at Luigi. “If I did let your family leave, would you agree to stay in this hotel forever and not try to escape?”

Luigi winced. “Do you have to make this creepy? I-I am… I am attracted to you, you’re right. I would be willing to give you a chance, but I’m not going to be your prisoner and stay here forever!” 

“Then what’s even the POINT?!” Helenus snapped, suddenly raising himself into standing position without bending any limbs, just bobbing straight up like a spring board. “Look, I fed you nice food. I gave you nice clothes. I even put on a nice show for you! So now we have sex! You owe me!”

Luigi held up his hands in the universal signal for ‘you’ve got to be kidding me’. “That’s not how it works! You can’t owe someone sex! And anyway, if that was all your idea of a date, then it wasn’t a very good one!”

Helenus growled. “Look, I’m trying to be a gentleman about this, but I would just as soon take what I want!”

Luigi’s nose wrinkled. “You know, for someone who looks like a prince, you’re not very chivalrous!”

Helenus actually looked affronted. “Not chivalrous? I’ll have you know I am the _most_ \- OH!” Helenus slapped his fist into his palm, his dark tone instantly evaporating. “I get it, you’re old fashioned!”

“Excuse me?” Luigi was starting to get whip lash from these mood swings.

“You need to be won over, literally! I get it now! Here,” Helenus pulled a gold elevator button from his pocket and tossed it to Luigi. A number 6 was emblazoned on it. Luigi tucked it away fast and backed up a step as Helenus moved in again. The ghost placed a daring hand on Luigi’s stomach as he leaned in close. “Don’t worry, my beloved, I can give you what you want. Once you see exactly what I’m capable of, I know you’ll be swooning for me!”

With that, Helenus took off and vanished through the ceiling yet again, leaving Luigi practically twitching below. In more ways than one. Luigi wasn’t sure what Helenus could possibly be talking about, but given his track record so far, it couldn’t be good. Then again, it wasn’t as if Luigi had anywhere else to go, either. Sighing deeply, Luigi shoved his hands in his pockets and headed reluctantly for the elevator.


	8. Oh What a Knight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> King Boo is a King, of course he can joust and swordfight! Also, thanks for all the comments so far! They really keep me going on this thing. Plus it's polite! Love that.

**8 Oh What A Knight!**

The sixth floor was the first one Luigi had seen that seemed completely out of place for a hotel. The initial portion of the hallway appeared standard enough, though the suits of armor in the corners were a unique touch. When Luigi rounded the corner, however, he was left staring at a medieval-style gate barring his path and a popcorn stand in the corner. When Luigi headed over to try and open the gate, he found it was either locked or too heavy to open, he wasn’t sure which. Luigi looked around for another way in, but nothing seemed forthcoming. He saw what looked like a pull cord on the other side of the bars, but all his stretching to reach it only hurt his shoulder, and the Poltergust’s suction wasn’t quite getting a hold of it either. He would need someone on the inside to open the gate for him, but there was no one else around. Where was Polterpup when Luigi needed him? He hadn’t seen him in a while. Luigi folded his arms and looked at the gate thoughtfully. He couldn’t really climb it with the Poltergust on his back, and he definitely wasn’t going to risk removing it again. So what could he do? In the midst of this train of thought, a carton of popcorn smacked Luigi in the side of the head.

“Hey!” Luigi spun on the spot, Poltergust at the ready, and saw two yellow ghosts wearing knight helmets cackling and readying another carton of popcorn in the air to throw. “Cut it out!” Luigi gasped when the next carton hit him as well. It didn’t hurt, but it was really annoying! Luigi turned on the Poltergust and started in on the ghosts, but one straightened abruptly and started waving its hands to get him to stop. Luigi paused for a moment, and the ghost quickly grabbed some popcorn and stuffed it in its mouth where it fell through the specter and hit the ground. The ghost grinned and then held the popcorn carton out toward Luigi. “You… want me to eat it?” Luigi asked carefully, as the ghosts both began nodding frantically. They pushed the carton to the edge of the snack table, and the other ghost quickly folded a paper airplane and sent it flying straight at Luigi where it hit him in the nose. Luigi scowled and grabbed the plane, opening it up to reveal a note inside.

_‘To my dearest Luigi,_

_Please excuse the idiots I sent to deliver this message. If they annoy you, try not to suck them into your silly vacuum, or else I will have to find someone else to get you in here, and it will be a whole thing. But, please enjoy this further gift of popcorn, as you seemed to enjoy it before._

_I know I haven’t managed to woo you properly so far, but this time you will definitely be impressed. I want to assure you, on my honor as a ruler ofthishotel_ (this part was crammed in and written on top of the line), _that you will not be harmed by any ghost once you have passed through this gate, until you leave it. And if you are, I will rain my swift and dark retribution upon them, such that will rip their soul to shreds and scatter those sheds into the void of oblivion. Then you can suck them up with your vacuum if you want, I don’t know, that seems like the sort of thing you would like._

 _By the time you’re done reading this note, those imbeciles should have opened the gate._ (Luigi heard a loud screech and glanced up long enough to see the gate open) _I remind you: YOU WILL NOT BE ATTACKED. DO NOT START SUCKING UP GHOSTS LEFT AND RIGHT. What good is a tournament without a crowd? Just get in here, sit where you’re directed, and enjoy the show this time, or I will be very angry._

_See you soon, beloved!_

**_ HELENUS GRAVELY _ ** _’_

This time the printed signature was very clear, obviously pressed very hard into the paper and underlined as though to emphasize that he knew his own name. Weird. The whole note was pretty ominous. He was supposed to walk into a whole hoard of ghosts and just… trust they won’t touch him? He had absolutely no reason to believe a word of that! Luigi tucked the note away and looked at his ghastly doormen with skepticism. He needed to think this through. He didn’t know exactly what he would be walking into just yet. He could at least see how many ghosts were in there before he started running away, he supposed. So, he took a deep breath and marched through the gate, grabbing one of the cartons of popcorn from the grinning ghosts flanking his entrance as he passed by. He had almost reached the double doors on the other side of the room when he heard the gate slam shut behind him. Luigi gasped and ran back to the gate. The ghosts were gone, only a cackling to be heard as Luigi found the gate just as immovable as when he arrived. Even the pull cord he saw earlier was gone! Another trap. He shouldn’t have thought any less. Luigi groaned. He sincerely hoped that Helenus was being sincere, because if not, Luigi might be in some real trouble.

Luigi opened the doors slowly, and was instantly hit by a wall of cheering. He yelped and let the door shut, and there was silence. Swallowing hard, Luigi pushed at the door again, this time pushing past the blast of noise and squinting at the bright blue light beyond, shocked to feel light breeze. Was he outside? Luigi blinked hard as his eyes adjusted to the light. He soon realized that no, he wasn't outside, he was just in a stadium-sized room built to look like a discount Medieval Times. Wooden bleachers were set up in a wide ring around an open arena, and a ghostly knight on a spectral horse was trotting around in front of the cheering crowd. The knight was doing plenty jousting tricks, knocking down flags and spearing rings, all to the delight and applause of the colorful ghosts which filled every seat. Luigi could faint, he had never seen so many ghosts all at once! If they DID decide to attack, Luigi was pretty sure he wasn’t going to win this one. That was pretty terrifying. It was cold in the arena too, Luigi was shivering in his thin tennis uniform. He nearly jumped out of his skin when he was tapped on the shoulder, and when he turned he didn't feel much better to see a big red ghost with large dark sunglasses glaring down at him.

“Stay back!” Luigi said as he held up his vacuum hose in warning. The red ghost, however, did not seem deterred. It merely grunted and reached down to grab Luigi’s arm. With Luigi firmly in the ghost's grasp, it started pulling him not toward a wooden door that led into one of the towers along the edge of the stadium.

“Stop! Let me go!” Luigi tried pulling away, flashing his strobe light, and finally sucking with his vacuum, but the red ghost had some heavy endurance and Luigi was dragged inside before he made any headway. Once his eyes adjusted to the low light, Luigi felt a scream rise in his throat. On every side of him, Luigi was surrounded by ghosts! Blue, orange, yellow, red, way too many! Luigi let out his scream, frantically turning on his vacuum and charging in a panic. Given the circumstances, however, he was quickly descended upon. Chaos ensued. Luigi fought madly with his Poltergust, certainly managing to suck up some of his assailants. But he was overwhelmed, and within minutes he found himself dangling from one foot from the tongue of a large orange ghost, his shirt falling down to expose his chest. “NO!” Luigi gasped and braced for pain, but a few moments passed, and the pain didn’t come. Luigi cracked an eye open to see the ghosts were, oddly, smiling at him? Cheekily perhaps, but definitely smiling. Luigi flushed, maybe from the blood rushing to his head, as he grabbed the hem of his shirt and tried forcing it over his stomach again. “Uh, aren’t you going to hurt me?”

A nearby blue ghost rolled its eyes and approached Luigi, reaching into his pocket and pulling out the note Helenus had left. It pointed to the line assuring Luigi’s safety and tapped it pointedly. “Oh…” Luigi nibbled the inside of his cheek. “Then why am I upside down?” A purple ghost pantomimed using the Poltergust. Luigi had the sense to look ashamed. “Um, well, sorry about that, I guess? But you know, dragging me into a room like this doesn’t exactly make me feel safe!” The ghosts all shrugged. Luigi deflated a bit and was lowered to the floor, finally. He got to his feet just in time to see a couple more blue ghosts holding out what looked like a monarch’s purple cape, offering it eagerly to the confused man. He took it in hand and, as a show of good will, threw it on over the canister of the Poltergust and clasped it under his chin. “Tah dah!” Luigi said, striking a pose and smiling awkwardly. The ghosts nodded in approval, and suddenly Luigi felt a weight leave his head. He shouted in protest, a purple ghost had flown away with his hat!

“Hey, I need that! Give it back!” Luigi demanded, only to be laughed at again. Suddenly another, heavier weight landed on his head. Luigi reached up and felt what had landed there. It was metal, and circular. A large mirror was held up in front of Luigi’s face. He blinked in surprise to see a lovely, woven silver crown had been placed on his head. If he gathered the robe up to cover his tennis uniform, he looked almost like a prince. “Oh wow, looking good.” Luigi let out a low whistle and twirled in the mirror for a moment. “Is it really okay for me to have these?” The ghosts nodded rapidly, and the red ghost approached again, nudging Luigi back out the door and into the crowd. The jousting knight was gone, now every ghost in the crowd was looking at _him_ and cheering their god damn ectoplasm off. Luigi didn’t really know what to do. He raised a hand and waved awkwardly. He had never gotten such a positive response from ghosts before, his waving seemed to make them go even wilder. The red ghost grunted again and nudged Luigi to keep him walking. This time they entered the walkway around the edge of the arena, and Luigi was downright baffled at how genuinely happy all these ghosts looked to see him. Some even went so far as to burst into tears when he passed by, one even reached through the wall separating him from them and kissed the edge of his robe. What was going on? This was pretty strange.

Luigi was being guided into the elevated box that would traditionally hold the royalty presiding over the tournament. There were two thrones inside the box, and Luigi hesitated next to the larger one before the red ghost prodded him again, pointing hard at the smaller throne. Luigi shrugged and sat where he was told. As soon as he was settled, another carton of popcorn was thrust into his hands. Luigi looked at it and licked his dry lips. He was about to ask if drinks were also provided when a cup of soda was thrust into his other hand. At least the service was good. Luigi took a cautious sip, and then a more enthusiastic one. 7UP was his favorite! The red ghost took up post standing next to Luigi, and as much as Luigi was relieved that he genuinely didn’t seem to be in danger, he got the feeling that the ghost was there to make sure he didn’t try to leave, either. Oh well. Luigi grabbed a handful of popcorn and got to work on that, figuring he should get comfortable if he was going to be there for a while.

Luigi nearly spilled his popcorn again, however, when the loudest cheer yet assaulted his eardrums. The ghosts had apparently turned their attention off of Luigi and were hooting praise as another horse entered the arena, ridden by another ghost, taller than the last, and wearing very shiny Armour. The ghost raised his hands to his helmet and removed it. It was Helenus. Of course it was Helenus. The ghost raised a hand to the crowd, a huge shit-eating grin on his fanged face. His red eyes found Luigi fast and he winked. Luigi held up his hand in a tiny wave, unsure what else he was supposed to do. Then Helenus blew him a kiss, and Luigi practically buried himself in the purple cape to hide his blushing face.

“Ghost and ghouls, specters from all the ages,” Helenus began to speak. A deep, eerie, and somehow ancient hush fell over the crowd. Luigi heard not the briefest hint of a laugh, which was extremely unusual for most of the ghosts he had met so far. Helenus went on, “As you know, I am here to announce my upcoming engagement to the renowned hero, Luigi!” There were a chorus of cheers that entirely drowned out Luigi’s shout of protest, yet a single hiss managed to break into it. The ensuing silence was deafening.

“WHO DID THAT?!” Helenus screamed into the bleachers. There was a scuffle and a single blue ghost was punted into the arena at the feet of Helenus’s horse. Helenus glared down at the ghost. “We discussed this!” The blue ghost clasped its hands together and grovelled. “You forgot? How could you forget?! Literally everyone else was cheering as instructed! Get back up there and do it right!” Everyone watched as the blue ghost hurriedly flew back to its seat and started cheering loudly by itself for a bit before Helenus waved him to be quiet. “Alright, enough of that.” Helenus cleared his throat and raised a hand to the crowd again. “In honor of my upcoming engagement-“

“We aren’t engaged!” Luigi shouted into the silence, leaning forward in his seat.

Helenus rolled his eyes. “That’s why I said ‘upcoming’ engagement, beloved. Now hush.” There was a smattering of ghostly giggles and then silence reigned again. Luigi leaned back in his seat and sulked. “So, in honor of my _upcoming_ engagement, I am going to appeal to my love’s delicate old fashioned sensibilities with an old fashioned display of power and strength in combat!”

“I already witnessed you eat another ghost whole, I don’t think we need to do this!” Luigi tried, and Helenus dismissed him again.

“Nonsense; that was just a chef! Once you see what I can really do, you’ll be on your knees begging for me!” Helenus directed his horse to begin circling the arena and addressed the crowd again. “The exhibition will commence in a moment, but first, I will collect a favor from my beloved!”

“What,” Luigi said flatly as Helenus turned his horse toward the royal box seat. Luigi looked at his red ghost guard with a perplexed expression. “I don’t even have a- oh.” Luigi awkwardly took the green handkerchief the red ghost handed to him. Helenus drew up level with the box and summoned a jousters lance from nowhere, eagerly holding it out to Luigi.

“Come on sweetheart, just play along?” Helenus asked, and Luigi found himself swayed by those wide eyes again. Well… what was the harm? Luigi stood up and moved within touching distance of the lance. He unfurled the green handkerchief and tied it nearly around the lance just above the point. Helenus seemed pleased and drew away, leaving Luigi to sink back down in his seat and hope that the ghosts would keep their attention off of him for the rest of this debacle. Helenus put his helmet back on his head, and lined himself up on one side of the arena. As Luigi watched, numerous glowing rings and targets appeared in Helenus’s path. The ghost horse sprang into a canter, and Helenus began thrusting his lance through rings and targets, not missing a single one. The audience oohed and ahhed, even Luigi found himself feeling just a little impressed. He wouldn’t have expected Helenus to be so proficient on a horse. He didn’t seem especially equestrian.

Once the warm up targets were dealt with, another knight entered the arena. While Helenus’s armor was silver, the opponent was dressed in black metal. The two ghosts circled each other for a while, and then the horses launched at each other, lances at the ready. Luigi gasped and watched through his fingers as Helenus’s lance bored into the black knight’s chest plate, knocking the knight to the ground. The opponent's horse vanishing the moment its rider was forcibly dismounted. Once the knight was on the ground, Helenus swung off of his own horse and drew his sword, just as the other knight got to its feet and pulled out a sword of its own. The two weapons met in a shower of sparks, and Luigi watched with interest, getting out of his seat and close to the railing for a better look as both ghosts put on quite the display of footwork and swordplay. Helenus actually knew what he was doing. Was this something Helenus learned after he died? It seemed weird a hotel owner would know how to ride a horse and fight like that, but then, Luigi didn’t really know anything about Helenus, did he? Maybe he should ask him. After all, if Helenus was willing to go this far to impress him, he must be serious about Luigi, right? Luigi glanced around the stands at the cheering ghosts and bit his lip. Helenus had said that he was turning against King Boo now. He said that he wanted to take down King Boo because he took over Helenus’s hotel. But if that was the case, why were so many ghosts still loyal enough to him to stay on his side when he was openly trying to ‘woo’ King Boo’s sworn enemy? None of this really made sense. Luigi was going to have to convince Helenus to actually talk to him. That was going to be awkward. Maybe not as awkward as being courted in a Medieval Times knockoff, but awkward none the less.

At last, Helenus knocked the black knight to the ground and held his sword to the knight’s throat. He turned to Luigi and raised his free hand in a fist of triumph. “Speak the word love, should he keep his head?”

Luigi sputtered. “Of course he should keep his head! He was only fighting because you told him to!”

Helenus frowned a little, but shrugged and sheathed his sword, quickly flying over to Luigi and hopping the railing into the royal box. “You see? I can be merciful, as well as powerful! Are you impressed, my love?” Helenus took Luigi’s hand and pressed his knuckles to his ghostly lips. It reminded Luigi violently of Helenus’s first attempt at ‘flirting’ outside his hotel room.

“Y-you were good.” Luigi had to admit that much. “Um, can we talk? Is that okay? Maybe away from… all this?”

Helenus brightened so much he seemed to be literally glowing. “The Master Suite?”

“No! Just to talk. There’s some stuff I don’t understand, and I guess I… I just want to get to know you a little better?” Luigi tried, “We could call it a date, if you want?”

Helenus deflated a bit, but still seemed to be in generally good spirits. “Hm… yeah… yeah I guess that’s still progress! We can definitely go on a date! I was right when I said you were old fashioned, huh? I knew I’d get it right, eventually!” Helenus threw back his head and let loose a peal of maniacal laughter. Luigi scratched his head.

“Right… so, should we go now?” Luigi moved away from the thrones, but Helenus tutted and grabbed Luigi’s shoulder, forcing him back down in his seat and sitting in the larger throne next to him.

“No need to rush, my love, we have all the time in the world! Just relax and keep watching the show. Now that you know how powerful I am, may as well laugh at some of these idiots ripping each other apart for our amusement!”

“Oh no,” Luigi said quietly as a number of ghosts in gladiator uniforms entered the arena. Not only was this completely outside of the medieval theme, but Luigi suspected he was going to be spending the rest of this ‘show’ hiding behind his hands. As the war cries started and weapons started launching, Luigi buried himself in the purple cape again. He startled as a weight settled around his shoulders, and he was suddenly pulled flush with Helenus’s side. Or rather, as flush as was possible with the throne armrests in the way. It bent Luigi a little strangely, but he accepted that. Secretly, a part of him still felt sort of flattered anyone would go through the effort of putting on a show for him. He was still going to have to talk to Helenus about a lot of things, but for now, maybe it was okay to just enjoy the show. It was violent, it wasn’t as if the ghosts were able to kill each other, probably. After a moment of hesitation, Luigi’s head fell onto Helenus’s shoulder and there he let his worries rest.


	9. A Questionable Stroll in the Garden

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alright y'all, this chapter has it all. Awkward conversations, sexy times, horrifying revelations, and a surprise bitch you thought you'd seen the last of me moment. Strap yourselves in, friendos!

**9 A Questionable Stroll in the Garden**

This was the first time that Luigi had ridden the elevator with Helenus since his ill-fated arrival at the hotel with his family, and Luigi felt the heat of Helenus’s gaze in the mirrored wall even heavier this time. Maybe it was from the touch of fear that ran up Luigi’s spine when Helenus screwed in the button for the seventh floor without touching it, it merely floated from his hand to the socket and forced itself in. More likely the gaze felt hotter because Luigi was feeling it while tucked under Helenus's arm. After the ‘tournament’ was over, Helenus had guided Luigi out of the stadium with a hand at his back, and entering the elevator only seemed to encourage him into wrapping as much of himself around Luigi as he could without obstructing movement. From the small part of his neck that was brushing the ghost’s cold and tingly form, Luigi had to say he was again thankful for the cape he was wrapped up in. The crown was a bit much, but the cape made him feel a bit safer somehow. Like how wandering your house in the dark of midnight felt safer with a blanket wrapped around your shoulders.

“You look cute all bundled up like that,” Helenus said happily, startling Luigi after the long silence. (Well, not complete silence, Helenus kept humming snatches of something that sounded suspiciously like ‘That’s Amore’.) “And that crown really suits you. You should definitely wear it while we’re having sex later.”

Luigi covered his face with both hands as he let out a long whine of exasperation. Somehow, he had agreed to go on a date with this guy. Even if he did it while hoping to get some usable information from him, surely this meant Helenus would expect Luigi to do ‘stuff’ with him. What if Helenus kissed him again? Deeper? With that freakishly long tongue? Luigi was suddenly ten times more grateful for long cape. The tennis shorts under it were decidedly not going to hide that problem. He hoped Helenus didn’t guess the reason for his awkward movement as the elevator stopped and he was led out into the corridor. Luigi was beginning to surrender to the idea that if Helenus wanted to take this date further than talking and hand holding, he was probably going to end up letting him. Darn his weakness for grand romantic overtures! He was doomed from the start.

The corridor for the seventh floor was different from the floors below. Luigi was sure it had once looked as clean and polished as the whole hotel had under its glamour, but now it was clear that it had become entirely overgrown with plant life. A thicket of weeds blanketed the floor, although bits of tarnished tile and moldy carpet were still visible under it in places. Vines crept up the walls, and flowers burst up from cracks large enough to give Luigi severe misgivings about the structural integrity of the whole building. He wouldn’t be surprised if the place was being held up by pure spectral energy. The lights had long since been dimmed and destroyed by the thick branches of trees that had overgrown their pots, but Luigi didn’t need his flashlight since his companion could glow in the dark. The whole atmosphere felt muted and surreal, and the hallway turned on itself a couple of times. After a while, Luigi started wondering if there was an end goal to this walk.

“Um, this is nice but, where are we going?”

Helenus shushed him, and abruptly a set of doors illuminated themselves in front of them. Helenus finally let go of Luigi long enough to push the doors wide open, then grabbed his hand to pull him through. Luigi couldn’t help but gasp at the scene within. This was clearly once a manicured garden space, but time and ghostly intervention had grown a twisting jungle of exotic flowers and plants which sprawled across the floor and up the walls and staircases. They ran in and out of the suites' walls and doors, circling elegantly around the upper stairway platforms. At the center of this jungle was the largest flower Luigi had ever seen, its stem and leaves as thick as the branches of a giant redwood tree. Given the size, Luigi figured that the roots must stretch down through the walls of the whole hotel. The crown of the pale blue flower stood far above them, its shape similar to a lily. The flower craned its face toward the glass roof, imbibing moonlight through it. Luigi wasn’t sure there was another sight like it in the world, and it was breath-taking.

“Wow.” That was the only word Luigi managed to get out. He gaped openly at the entirety of the garden, spinning slowly on the spot before Helenus naturally came back into view. The ghost looked extremely proud of himself.

“You like it!” Helenus said, clapping his hands together and practically bouncing with glee. Why did he have to be so cute?

“Ah, yes, you’re very- I mean it’s very pretty!” Luigi turned away from Helenus, pretending to be looking at the flower again as he discreetly adjusted himself to tuck his cock into the waistband of the shorts. That ought to at least keep it somewhat under control, right?

“See? This hotel has everything you could want. Why would you ever want to leave?” Helenus coaxed, grabbing Luigi around the shoulders again and directing him toward the stairs.

“That’s going a bit far…” Luigi muttered, but Helenus didn’t seem to catch it. Either that, or he was ignoring him. Luigi tried again. “Um, that is to say, we're still basically strangers! Do you think we can just sit for a minute, and talk a bit to get to know each other? You probably don’t know much about me, either.”

Helenus paused on the stairs and looked at Luigi with indignation. “I know plenty about you! Your dress size, your shoe size, the length of your mustache, your eye color, your dick si-”

“No I mean, you don’t know my likes and dislikes, stuff like that!” Luigi stopped on the stairs fully and sat down on them, hoping to coax the ghost into sitting with him. Helenus seemed to hesitate for a moment, hovering over Luigi before sinking down to sit beside Luigi, his legs drawn tight to his chest. He seemed uncertain if he was doing it right, but he was definitely sitting with Luigi, and they were sort of talking now. Success?

Helenus cleared his throat into his hand before going on as if he had something to prove. “You like popcorn, and green clothes, and soft things, and plants obviously, and being the good guy. I don’t know _why_ you like any of that garbage, but I know you like them! And you _don’t_ like getting surprised by ghosts, or singing, or-”

“I like singing! I just didn’t like-”

“No you don’t! You made me stop!” Helenus pointed at Luigi’s face in accusation. Luigi pushed the offending finger away from his nose.

“It wasn’t the singing, it was the song! Anyway, you don’t know anything other than what you’ve learned through trial and error, right? So if we talk about ourselves, maybe you can do things without just guessing about what I might like all the time!”

Helenus narrowed his eyes and seemed to mull over Luigi’s suggestion before thunking his forehead down on his knees. “Urgh, um… well, tell me what you like, then.”

Luigi flushed and looked around the room as though that would help him think of something to say. It was hard to think when put on the spot! “Um, I like to play the violin?”

Helenus perked up and looked surprised. “I didn’t know that! There’s one in the concert hall!” Helenus moved to stand up. “I’ll get one for you, so you can play!”

“Wait! Come back!” Luigi grabbed at Helenus’s sleeve, surprised he was able to get purchase on it, and the ghost was startled enough that he plopped back down on the step. “You don’t have to act on it right now! You just hold onto the knowledge for later, so you can act on it if a good situation comes up.”

“Hmph, this is hard,” Helenus pouted. “Tell me something else, then.”

“You know that isn’t really how this works. You’re supposed to ask questions.”

“Questions? About what?”

“You ask me stuff, like, what's my favorite color? Or my favorite flower, maybe?”

“Okay, what’s your favorite color, and flower?”

Luigi brightened. “I like green, and waterlilies!” Helenus grinned and looked like he was about to jump up again, so Luigi grabbed the ghost’s tingly hand to hold him down. The ghost seemed confused, but stayed put. “So, what about you?” 

"Me?"

“What’s _your_ favorite color? And flower?”

“Um…” Helenus seemed to be really thinking about it. This wasn’t meant to be a hard question! “I… I guess I like green, too?”

Luigi hummed. “Green is pretty great, but is it your favorite?”

“Um... no.”

Luigi sighed and patted Helenus’s hand. “It’s okay if you don’t have a favorite, too.”

“Purple.”

“Oh!” Luigi looked at his purple cape. Helenus did say he had picked it for him, hadn’t he? “Well, purple is also very nice!”

“I don’t think I like any flowers, though.”

“Really? None?” Luigi looked around the garden. “Then… why did you bring me here?”

“I guessed that you would like it, and I was right!”

“You don’t need to defend yourself!” Luigi looked at Helenus’s mutinous look and wondered how he would take this conversation where it needed to go. “Were you like this when you were alive, too?”

Helenus gave Luigi a slightly disgusted look. “When I was _what_?”

“Alive? You’re a ghost, right? You were the human owner of this hotel, and then you died? I assume, anyway.” Luigi shifted a little, uncertain. “I mean, I know that not all of the ghosts I meet were once humans, exactly, but you had to have been alive at some point!”

Helenus’s eye twitched. “Me? In a flesh body? With that whole... breathing and blood thing? Gross!”

Luigi felt a twinge of offense. “Hey, I breathe and have blood!”

“Oh, um, well that’s fine for you, I guess.” Helenus said after a pause, then shrugged a little helplessly. “But I wouldn’t want to deal with it. So much maintenance! It’s gonna be hard enough just worrying about _you_ needing to eat and stuff, I wouldn’t want to have to do it.”

There was something weird about that. “But… I thought the other ghosts that look like you all used to be alive…?”

“What do you mean 'the ghosts that look like me?' None of the Boo- OoOooooOooo,” Helenus’s eyes widened and he trailed off on a ghostly moan. Then he stared off into the distance silently as though he had said something mortifying. Luigi heard a tiny whisper of a high pitched scream coming from his closed lips. Then he cleared his throat very loudly and stood up too fast for Luigi to stop, pulling the man up with him. He began half dragging Luigi up the stairs again. “SO! You want questions, right? What’s your favorite sexual position?”

Luigi stammered as he followed, trying not to trip on his own feet. “I… I don’t- I don’t have one?”

“Well, I guess my ‘trial and error’ method will come in handy!” Helenus smirked, doing air quotes along with his words. On the first landing, Helenus tugged him into one of the suites. It looked to be the same layout as Luigi’s suite on the fifth floor, though this one was scaled a little larger. Before the hotel was abandoned it was likely a more fancy accommodation, but now the same vines from the garden had invaded the space. They curled around the dresser and wardrobe and around the bedposts, but there was still an incredibly intact mattress, although parts of it were grey with dust.

“What are we doing in he-RE?!” Luigi shouted as Helenus scooped him up without warning and tossed him onto the dusty bed, where Luigi landed on his butt and fell back in surprise. He winced as his back curved painfully over the Poltergust. When he tried to sit up again, he was stopped by Helenus hovering entirely over him horizontally.

“It’s no Master Suite, but we can get started here.”

Luigi’s heart hammered in his chest. “Wha- now? But-“

“I promise you’ll like it, beloved. I’m not going to hurt you, but you’ll still be begging for mercy,” Helenus’s voice dropped into something deep that felt as though it were creeping into Luigi’s stomach and causing all his blood to rush south. It left him straining hard against the waistband of his tennis shorts. Speaking of, when Luigi hit the bed, his cape had flown open and his shirt had ridden up. Even in his waistband, anyone could see how hard he was now. Helenus was certainly quick to notice, and pressed shaking fingers against Luigi’s bare stomach, running them down to his belly button. Luigi let out a moan as his cock twitched hard enough to poke out over the top of his shorts, dribbling pre-cum onto his belly.

“Beautiful,” Helenus hissed, peeling down the waistband to let Luigi’s cock swing up completely, glistening in the white glow of Helenus’s ghostly aura. Luigi struggled and managed to sit up, fighting back as Helenus tried to push him down again.

“I’ve still got the Poltergust on, it’s hurting my back!”

“Then take it off,” Helenus said, soundly deadly serious as his eyes captured Luigi’s. The man almost lost himself and made a move to shrug off the straps, but managed to keep enough grip on reality to remember his circumstances.

“I’m not taking it off.”

The two stared each other down for a minute, but finally Helenus sighed. “I can still touch this?” Helenus wrapped a hand around Luigi’s cock to demonstrate.

“Y-yes!” Luigi squeaked, clasping his hands near his heart and watching Helenus stroke him like a professional. How can a ghost that’s so bad with people be so good at this?!

“Then fine, keep your dumb vacuum,” Helenus snorted, and then leaned up to capture Luigi’s lips with his. Helenus’s lips were hot, and felt mildly electric like the rest of his body. They moved against Luigi’s for a moment before Luigi felt an icy hand run up his chest and tweak his hardened nipple. His mouth opened in a moan that was swallowed and filled with that long, dominating tongue. Luigi felt overwhelmed. He could barely keep up as Helenus’s tongue seemed unending, wrapping around his own and smothering every sound that Luigi made as it writhed, brushing deliciously over the roof of his mouth. His entire body felt like it was lighting up with some kind of electrical pulse. It didn’t help that Helenus’s hand was still on his cock, either. As Luigi noticed he was seeing stars, he hit Helenus’s arm a few times and the ghost reluctantly drew back to let Luigi take a few much-needed deep breaths.

“H-hold on, let go or I’m gonna…” Luigi panted and pressed a hand to Helenus’s chest. The ghost looked a little disappointed but let go of Luigi entirely. It took a minute, but Luigi managed to calm himself down enough that he wasn’t over-sensitive anymore. If Helenus was disappointed Luigi had called pause, he seemed downright ecstatic when Luigi reached out for the ghost's hands and pulled them back to his hips.

“So beautiful,” Helenus whispered again, “I can hardly believe it, I waited so long…”

Luigi let out a snicker. “Long? Right, it hasn’t even been a day!”

Helenus’s grip on Luigi’s hips grew harder, close to bruising, and Luigi yelped at the pinch. “A day? It's been- god, FINE, it has _felt_ like years… years trapped in a dark void with no means to track the presence of time. It might have been centuries and you would have been…”

Luigi cocked his head to one side as he worked to loosen Helenus’s hands. That sounded too sincere. What was going on with this ghost? “Helenus, did something happen to you?”

Helenus let out a hysterical giggle. “Did something happen to me? No, no, some _one_ happened to me, Luigi. YOU happened to me.” Helenus surged forward and Luigi threw out his hands to catch himself on the mattress so he didn’t fall on his Poltergust again. One hand landed on his flashlight, and his fingers curled around it instinctively as Helenus nuzzled into the side of Luigi’s head, peppering kisses there. “You escaped me over and over, but I’m glad, because I get to have you now like _this._ I never thought I could want someone so much, let alone a human. The more I woo you, the more I like you. Is that strange?”

“N-no, I think that’s how it’s supposed to go,” Luigi reassured Helenus, his grip on his flashlight tightening reflexively as the ghost began to grind against him again. Luigi reached out blindly to grab onto Helenus’s back with his free hand but found it didn't seem to be where it should've been. It felt wider and rounder than he expected, that was for sure. “Um, Helenus? Are you okay? Your back feels strange.”

“What?” Helenus drew back, and Luigi noticed that he had accidentally turned his purple strobe light on. It had been casting itself across the back of Helenus's body. When Helenus moved, Luigi moved as well, and the flashlight in turn illuminated Helenus’s leg to the point where it began to vanish entirely. Luigi abruptly turned the flashlight off. Helenus’s body returned, but the ghost looked rather panicked and got off the bed entirely, backing up fast to the other side of the room.

“H-Helenus?” Luigi whimpered, a note of concern in his voice. “Are you alright? I didn’t meant to hit you with my strobe light! I’ve never seen it dispel a ghost’s body before! It’s only supposed to… only supposed to dispel illusions…” Luigi felt a growing horror in the pit of his belly as his brain started connecting dots. Helenus started hissing a stream of swear words. “Helenus,” Luigi asked, holding his flashlight to his chest and feeling tears prick at his eyes. “Why was my strobe light making you disappear?”

“Fuck. Shit. Cock. Motherfu- ah, um, b-because, uh, it’s because…” Helenus flailed around in search for a reason, any reason. He was, however, cut off as a firm female voice rang out around the room.

“That is because the form he has taken is an illusion." Both Luigi and Helenus had their attention drawn to the doorway, where a purple ghost woman in a blue dress had appeared. She wore a luscious feather boa, and possessed a mound of very tall hair. Luigi recognized her immediately. 

“You're the lady in the lobby painting! Who are you?” Luigi asked, rapidly tucking his penis back into his shorts. Helenus seemed particularly aghast to see her.

“I am _Helen_ Gravely.” The ghost lady narrowed her eyes. “And I am the owner, and ruler, of this hotel.” Her aura began to darken and spark in anger. “And I saved _YOUR_ ungrateful ass from that idiot professor’s prison!” Helen moved swiftly toward Helenus and stabbed a finger into his chest. “And you repaid that debt by _LOCKING ME IN A PAINTING_!”

Helenus glared at the lady ghost and pushed her hand away from his chest. “You did nothing but creepily flirt with me since you got me out of that canister! You would have just gotten in the way of my plans. How did you get out of there, anyway? The strobe light is up here. Luigi sure as shit didn’t care enough to free you!”

Luigi’s heart felt like it was going to beat itself out of his chest. “Helenus, what is going on?” But he was ignored yet again, he should really be used to it by now.

“You got the Poltergust up here, but I had the next best thing on my side,” Helen smirked. “The inventor. He made another strobe light, obviously.”

“What? That doesn’t make sense, why would he help you?” Helenus snapped.

Luigi stood up from the bed. “Hello? Helenus, what is she talking about?”

“You may have taken over my hotel, but my staff are still loyal to me! My maid captured him earlier, and convinced him-“

“Damn it! I knew I shouldn’t have let him wander free, I was too focused on-“

Luigi’s hands shook as they ran over his flashlight for a moment before he aimed it fully on Helenus’s body so he was entirely illuminated, then turned on the purple strobe light. As Helenus continued to snap at Helen, the ghost’s handsome face and body seemed to melt away and reform itself, getting rounder, bulkier, whiter, and the jeweled crown sparkled ever brighter on his head. Luigi’s flashlight dropped numbly out of his hands as Helen burst into laughter.

King Boo glanced from Helen's grin of mirth to Luigi’s look of absolute horror and then down at his own, round, Boo body.

“ _Fuck_ ,” King Boo said in a very small voice. He held up his small ghost arms in a placating gesture and looked at Luigi pleadingly. “I-I can explain.”

Luigi didn’t say anything in response. He didn’t need to. Which was good, because if he opened his mouth he definitely would have sobbed. Instead, he merely looked at the King of Boos with dead eyes and turned his Poltergust on.


	10. It's Just an Act

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Helen's back and there's gonna be trouble. That's right gang... this story now has a plot beyond just King Boo seducing Luigi. I'm shocked too.

**10 It’s Just an Act**

It was a trick. It was all a dirty, horrible trick. Luigi had no idea how to process the fact that the handsome ghost he was about four seconds from having sex with was in fact King Boo in disguise, and frankly, he wasn’t sure he wanted to. All he could know for sure was that King Boo was in front of him, and Luigi was going to take him down. He would save his brother, and be done with this mess. The one advantage to hurting this much inside was that it didn’t leave much room to be scared of being in a room with two powerful ghosts.

“Now, hear me out! Everything I said was true! I really do want- ah!” King Boo had tried to float toward Luigi, but was frozen by a flash of light. He rapidly blinked and shook off the suction enough to back up and fly behind Helen. “Now that’s just rude!”

“Everything was _true_? _NOTHING_ you told me was true!” Luigi snapped.

“Hey, get away from me!” Helen snapped, trying to get away from King Boo, but he seemed determined to use her as a shield between him and Luigi. “I came here to get rid of you, not help you!”

“Phht, you can’t get rid of me!” King Boo rolled his eyes. “I could overpower you easily, I did it before.”

“Maybe so, but as I said, the denizens of this hotel are on MY side now that I’m back. I also have that professor tucked away and working on a second Poltergust.” Helen smirked. “Once it’s complete, I will be back to take care of you personally.”

“Hey, you don’t get to threaten me!” King Boo snapped.

“Oh, maybe you’d prefer if I threatened your little boy toy? You certainly haven’t been subtle about your desires. I’ve heard from my lackeys that you’ve been downright nauseating, draping yourself all over your mortal enemy.”

King Boo’s cheeks flared. “H-how dare you! Leave him out of this!” While the ghosts continued to bicker, Luigi decided that maybe he would be better off leaving than trying to fight both of them at once. He pried open the door and tip toed out unnoticed. Shutting the door quietly behind him, Luigi sighed and looked around the garden again, feeling rather miserable. Just when he thought King Boo was at his worst, he proves himself capable of falling even further. Luigi really didn’t want to be hanging around when those two finished arguing, or battling, or whatever that was going to escalate into. Therefore, Luigi needed to decide if he was going to head up or down. Since he lacked any more elevator buttons, going down to the elevator wouldn’t necessarily get him where he needed to go. So that left heading up and seeing what he could find on the top floor of the garden. Luigi continued up the stairs as quickly as he could, though he found many places where the stairs had worn away into branches and roots. Soon he found himself climbing the vines of giant flower more than the stairs as he continued up.

When at last Luigi managed to scale his way onto the top of the flower, he lay on his stomach for a moment to catch his breath. He wondered where Helenus- no, where King Boo was. There was no Helenus, he had to remember that. Anyway, he hadn’t heard anything from any ghost since he had left the lower floors behind. Everything felt too quiet, and Luigi couldn’t help but feel somewhat unnerved by that. Then, Luigi looked up and noticed something gold and glimmering in the center of the flower. Luigi tip toed toward it, looking every which way for some kind of trap, but nothing stopped him from picking up the elevator button for the eighth floor. It was a bit weird. Definitely too easy. Luigi held the button out as he started looking around for a way down the flower stem when he was startled into stumbling by a loud bark from just under him. Luigi fell forward, and the elevator button fell from his grasp. It wasted no time in rolling away from him, over the edge of the flower, and then far, far down onto the ground below. Luigi edged himself over to the edge of one of the petals and groaned as he watched the button hit the floor and bounce a couple of times. Hopefully it wasn’t damaged.

A more important issue was that Luigi had definitely heard Polterpup barking, so where was it? Luigi looked around as best he could, but there was simply too much foliage, and he couldn’t see enough to tell for sure if Polterpup was in the room or not. Unfortunately, Luigi was a little too enthusiastic leaning around the flower petal to look for the dog, and ended up overbalancing it. Luigi began to fall. He screamed, but that was cut short as he hit some leaves below and began sliding against those and the branches, circling the stem of the giant flower several times. In one gut wrenching moment, Luigi's cape snagged on a branch and choked him as his feet scrambled for purchase against the slick leaves. He fumbled a couple of times, but managed to undo the clasp. He continued his slide, leaving the cape behind as he made a few more circuits of the stem. When he reached the ground, it was with enough momentum to send him sliding across the dirty floor several feet. Luigi sat on the ground for a little while, dazed and rubbing his neck. Then, he picked a couple of splinters out of his arms and legs, and managed to get his battered body to its feet. He spotted the elevator button nearby. With a sigh of relief, Luigi walked toward it and reached down to pick it up. At the last possible second, however, a purple ghost cat burst from the floor and grabbed the button in its teeth.

“Hey! Give that back!” Luigi snapped and dove for the cat, but the cat jumped swiftly out of reach. Luigi heard barking behind him, and he turned just in time to glimpse Polterpup running past him toward the ghost cat. The ghost cat let out a growl and took off running. Luigi nearly gave himself a crick in the neck trying to follow the two animal ghosts as they raced around the room.

“That’s enough!” The Helen Gravely's voice cut through the room like a knife, and Luigi nearly jumped out of his skin when the ghost lady appeared out of thin air behind him. The ghost cat jumped up into her arms, and Luigi raced forward to freeze Polterpup with his flashlight. He put his hands out in front of Polterpup's snout to soothe the dog. He didn’t want to know what a powerful ghost like Helen Gravely would do to his pet if he got on her bad side. Helen sniffed and patted the cat’s head. “You should get that beast under control! My Polterkitty shouldn’t have to deal with this sort of stress!” Luigi frowned. There wouldn’t be any stress if Helen hadn’t foolishly set King Boo free, but he wasn’t foolish enough to voice that thought. Helen continued to pet her cat, and Luigi felt a little ignored until he was sharply addressed. “Well? Aren’t you going to rudely demand I hand over the elevator button? Wave that damn vacuum around, perhaps?”

“Um, I mean, I don’t have to?” Luigi said, feeling a touch nervous to address the ghost. “Look, I really don’t want trouble. Hele- King Boo kidnapped my family. If I can free them, I’ll leave, and you won’t have to see me again. You don’t care if I free them, right?”

Helen sniffed. “No, not really. Honestly, that would probably piss off that good for nothing heart breaker, and I’m all for that.”

“Then, you’ll help me?” Luigi perked up, but cowered under Helen’s scowl.

“I never said that. I’m going to be busy getting my staff back in line. Not to mention fighting off these stray ghosts and Boos that scientist tracked in with him, the foul things.” Helen let out a ghastly moan and draped herself dramatically over a nearby park bench, still cradling the now-squirming Polterkitty. “All I wanted was to free the most dangerous ghost of all time, marry him, and go on to take over the world together! How was I supposed to know he was such a backstabber? I don’t know what I did to deserve this! I just want my hotel back the way it was so I can relax with a ton of chocolate and sad movies!”

Luigi closed his eyes for a moment to compose himself. He was going to have to be careful here, and he really didn’t want to dwell longer than necessary on the fact that Helen was, at least at one point, romantically interested in his mortal enemy who had spent the last day or so flirting with him. “Okay, so, you mentioned that E. Gadd was helping you, right?”

“Yes, the little scientist that I lured here originally. Chambrea had to do a lot of convincing to get him to free me, but we’ve reached an understanding. He has his portable laboratory, it’s set up in the basement at the moment. He is currently working on more powerful weapons to deal with my pest control problem.”

“In the basement?” Luigi at least had a button for that level. “Well, would it be alright if I go to see him? I can probably help you out with fighting the invading ghosts, at least until I find my family.”

Helen Gravely hummed, taking the elevator button from her cat’s mouth and looking at Luigi with a touch of interest. “I suppose the enemy of my enemy IS my friend after all. Very well. I will think over your offer, and I will meet you at E. Gadd’s lab to discuss the matter.” With that said, Helen sank through the floor and vanished, leaving Luigi alone in the garden again. Except for Polterpup of course, who was still nudging Luigi’s leg and whining. Luigi sighed and patted the ghost dog’s head.

“I know. I don’t like it either, but we should at least go make sure E. Gadd is safe, right?” Polterpup barked his agreement, and the two headed off for the elevator once more.

*

When the elevator spat Luigi out on the basement level, the first thing Luigi ran into was a fight. In front of him, a ghost of a hotel bellboy was clearly duking it out with a Boo, the first Boo Luigi had seen since arriving aside from their jerkoff of a King. Assisting the Boo were two blue ghosts, though a third blue ghost seemed to be helping the bellboy. None the less, it was clear that the bellboy was getting knocked around, and Luigi was always one for helping the underdog. Also, the fight was blocking the entire hallway, and Luigi didn’t want to know what would happen if Helen was kept waiting. So he flipped on his Poltergust and charged into the fray, quickly taking out the Boo’s ally ghosts. The bellboy and his ghostly companion seemed to stop and hang back while Luigi faced off against the Boo. They seemed to understand that Luigi had taken their side.

“Well, well, looks like the King’s little conquest turned on him! I’m not surprised!” The Boo chortled. “I told him, I says to him, ‘ _Sire, listen to your old buddy Boosement, plumbers can’t be trusted! I live in basements, I’ve met a few!'_ But nooooo, he just insisted that good guys couldn't lie for shit. So lame! You don’t deserve his love anyway.”

Luigi’s hands clenched hard around the vacuum nozzle. “Your King doesn’t love me! He tricked me into coming here, tricked me into losing my family, and tricked me into humiliating myself!” Luigi’s cheeks burned.

Boosement snorted. “Doesn’t love- nah you’re right, it’s more like he’s OBSESSED with you! Not that you even deserve that much.”

Luigi didn’t want to listen to this anymore. Besides, all Boos share a certain resemblance, and looking at this Boo was starting to make Luigi mad. He fired up his flashlight, but just as he was about to shut the Boo up with force, it pulled a mocking face and then flew off through the ceiling. Luigi snapped his fingers in disappointment, and then turned around to look at the bellboy behind him. The ghost shrugged, not seeming to care that the Boo escaped.

“The lab is this way,” the ghost said simply, floating down the hall and through the door to the parking garage. Polterpup barked and ran after the bellboy, vanishing through the door in much the same way. Luigi hurried to follow him, assuming that the ghost was aligned with Helen Gravely, and was notified that Luigi might stop by. The parking garage was the same as Luigi remembered, aside from a big metal dome sitting in the middle of it. The dome was covered in scanners and satellite dishes, with a big security camera scanning the room around it. When it detected Luigi, the camera appeared to zoom in eagerly, and the door to the lab slid open as Luigi approached it. The inside of the lab was cramped, the walls full of electronic equipment and monitors displaying graphs and statistics. In the center of this was a single revolving chair, in which sat the large ghostly maid from earlier, who seemed very content as she pet the head of E. Gadd. The professor was seated in her lap, looking entirely unconcerned about the fact that he was sitting on a ghost.

“Ah, Luigi my boy! Good to see you. Glad you so clearly prioritized saving me from being kidnapped by a ghost. Really appreciate the commitment to that.” E. Gadd didn’t even look at Luigi, instead typing something into his computer. Luigi felt a tug of shame.

“Er, right, sorry about that…”

“Oh, never mind. Actually, it’s been very handy for my research! Chambrea has been letting me run tests on her, and has been very helpful filling in gaps in my research when it comes to ghost culture and psychology!” E. Gadd finally looked at Luigi with a smirk. “And other things, but I suppose if rumors are to be believed, you’re no stranger to ghostly encounters either.”

Luigi covered his face. “Please don’t remind me. I was-“

“Tricked, I know,” E. Gadd sighed and turned back to his research notes. “Well, if it’s any consolation, my new research has informed me that once a ghost finds an obsession, they will use any means necessary to obtain it. They don’t even seem to consider the possibility of failure. In fact, I find that aspect of ghosts the most relatable to me!” E. Gadd hummed happily as Chambrea leaned forward to place a cold kiss on the scientist’s head. They made for an odd couple. Luigi mulled over E. Gadd’s words for a moment. That made sense, if King Boo was obsessed with hurting Luigi, it would make sense he would use any means necessary, but something about that wasn’t sitting well with him.

“So, you freed Helen Gravely?” Luigi asked, changing the subject.

“Yes. Trust me, it wasn’t my first choice. After Chambrea and I uh, got to know each other a little,” Luigi forced his mind as far from that implication as possible, even as the maid let out a contented sigh. “She told me about how after I was imprisoned, Helen released King Boo and was subsequently imprisoned herself. Chambrea convinced me that if I freed her mistress, she would ensure I was left unharmed to continue my research, and that Helen would see to it that King Boo was dealt with. So I slapped together a new strobe light, and solved the issue.”

“And Helen left you alone?”

“She did ask me to make her some weapons to help her defeat King Boo, which I just finished a few minutes before you got here.”

“Well, I’m certainly glad to hear that,” said Helen Gravely from the video monitor. Luigi jumped and even E. Gadd looked a touch unsettled, but nevertheless pressed a button on his console. The TV screen shimmered, and Helen Gravely phased through head first. After she slid into the lab, she turned around in mid-air, landing neatly on the floor. Her cat was nowhere in sight.

“Ah, Helen, just the ghost I wanted to see!” E. Gadd scrambled down from Chambrea’s lap long enough to dig around in his briefcase. He pulled out a large tube of green goo, and Helen glared at it.

“What’s this? I thought you were making a new Poltergust!”

“Oh, that? No, no, I don’t have the materials to make another one of those the same way. But this will work just as well!” E. Gadd hit a button on the canister, and the goo flowed out into a puddle on the floor. Luigi raised a hand to ask if the goo was supposed to do something, but E. Gadd hushed him. “Not now, boy! As long as my DNA samples I took from you work, the goo should reassemble… yes, yes there it goes!” Sure enough, the goo began to bubble on the ground and moved as one, building itself up into a humanoid figure. Once it finished detailing itself, Luigi was left looking at a green, gooey version of himself, complete with a goo-Poltergust strapped to its back.

“His name is Gooigi!” E. Gadd said, sounding immensely pleased as he crawled back into Chambrea’s lap. “He has all the power and skill of the regular Luigi, complete with a fully working goo Poltergust! He can’t feel pain, or emotions, or speak!”

“So, even better than the real thing!” Helen sounded intrigued now, crowding in to circle Gooigi with interest. “He has no weaknesses, then?”

“Ah, well, he can’t touch water or he’ll dissolve instantly.” E. Gadd shrugged.

“What? What good is that? This is a _hotel_! There’s bathrooms on every floor! Not to mention plenty of leaks from faulty plumbing, since my staff scared off the last maintenance workers in the area. What a worthless weapon! He’ll be destroyed in seconds!”

E. Gadd huffed. “It’s not as bad as all that. If Gooigi dissolves, his goo-cells are programmed to be drawn back into the canister no matter how far he is from it. Then all you need to do is redeploy him. There’s no need to fuss.”

Helen tapped her foot. “I suppose it’s a bit better, but still not exactly what I was hoping for.”

“Well you have the original Luigi as well, surely you can work with that. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have research to conduct.” E. Gadd held out the canister to Helen Gravely, who took it with a look of distaste and turned to Luigi.

“I suppose you want this, don’t you?” Helen reached into her breast pocket and pulled out the button for the eighth floor of the hotel. “I have reason to believe that King Boo is currently sulking on that floor as we speak. I have a suggestion.” Luigi’s look soured knowing that King Boo was in his way again, but he nodded for Helen to go on. “For some reason I cannot begin to understand, King Boo has focused his obsession on you. And make no mistake, this is a romantic obsession. Do not interrupt a lady!” Helen placed a manicured nail against Luigi’s mustache as he tried to object. “King Boo is a ghost. He is not concerned about your psychological welfare beyond what it can get him. If he wins this war, and there will be a war, he will not free your family. He will imprison you with him for all of eternity rather than risk you leaving. So my suggestion is this: lead him on.”

“What?” Luigi nearly gagged at the thought.

“You heard me.” Helen’s eyes narrowed. “If he thinks you’ll stay willingly, he’ll be more likely to give into your demands to get your family back. Lead him on until they are safe, then break his heart, and leave him in the dirt as you help me destroy him, and imprison him once and for all. He should know every inch of the pain he put me through, and then some!”

Luigi shuffled his feet a little. “Um…”

“Well? Be polite! Thank a lady when she gives you advice!”

“Oh! Um, thank you?”

“That’s better,” Helen sniffed, grabbing Luigi’s hand and shoving the elevator button into it. “Now, get up to the eighth floor and start ensnaring that cad. In the meantime, I have to reassemble my staff and start taking out that damned King’s servants. Come, Gooigi!” Helen snapped and Gooigi shuddered to life. Helen grabbed him up into her arms and dove back into the TV, landing in the corridor and then vanishing from view. E. Gadd shooed Luigi from the lab soon after, and the man was left in the parking garage, looking down at the elevator button and sweating. Did Helen mean he was supposed to seduce King Boo _now_? Knowing full and well that not only had this ghost hurt him many times in the past, but even went so far as to create a false humanoid form to lure Luigi in? Luigi wasn’t the best of actors anyway, and the idea of playing with a villain’s heart went against his nature. But his family was counting on him. If this was the way he had to save them, he’d play the part.


	11. Putting On a Production

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Awww yeah now things are really heating up... pun intended!

**11 Putting on a Production**

While on the elevator ride to the eighth floor, Luigi tried his best to prepare himself and settle his nerves. He was going to have to trick the great trickster, and make King Boo believe that all his poor attempts at flirting had actually worked enough to make Luigi want to be with him forever. And maybe they sort of had, in way, but that was when Luigi thought he was Helenus! Obviously that wasn’t the case anymore, so Luigi was going to have to figure out how to reconcile with that fact enough to be convincing. Luigi was no seductress. But suppose Helen was right? It seemed impossible to think that King Boo might legitimately want him. Romantically. Which Luigi absolutely should not find flattering, considering that his obsessive love came parceled with kidnapping and isolating him for eternity. But suppose that Helen was right? She had said that King Boo had a ghostly obsession with him and couldn’t conceive the idea of failure. If that was the case, maybe he would be more willing to believe Luigi fell in love with him, even if he wasn’t an especially good actor.

The elevator dinged and halted at the eighth floor. Luigi took a deep breath to steel himself. Time to put on a show, he thought. As Luigi stepped out into the floor proper, he was hit by the irony of that. He seemed to have stepped out into a movie studio. There were cameras set up on tripods, odd set pieces and backdrops lying around, even a large model helicopter hanging from the ceiling above. As Luigi headed further into the studio and down the hall, he almost forgot what he was doing there, there was just so much to look at! That is, until he ran into a pair of Boos guarding the door into the center of the studio. Both of them pointed at him and laughed, but neither moved to get closer to him. It was hard to forget the task at hand when it was laughing in his face.

“I-I’m here to see King Boo!” Luigi said as boldly as he could manage.

“Oooh, finally realized what you were missing out on, huh?” One Boo chortled. “Well too bad! He doesn’t want to see you!”

“He doesn’t?” Luigi felt his stomach tighten but tried to push the feeling down. “Th-that doesn’t matter! I need to talk to him.”

“Why? So you can ambush him on behalf of that stupid bitch hotel manager?” The other Boo narrowed its eyes. “We know all about you taking that dumb bellboy’s side in the basement! You’re working with her, and we aren’t gonna let you attack the boss when he’s vulnerable!”

“Yeah!” The first Boo agreed, “You don’t just go and talk to King Boo! Once he figures out his next attack, he’ll find you!”

“Yeah, he’ll find YOU!”

Luigi let out a disappointed huff. This wasn’t going the way he had hoped. He drummed his fingers on his flashlight, trying to figure out if it would hurt his chances of tricking King Boo if he just attacked the two unhelpful Boo guards. Then, a loud, dramatic voice rang through the room and a ghost wearing a black shirt and black knit hat flew through the closed door.

“Oh, this is just a TRAGEDY!” The ghost wailed, flying around the room in a wide arch and drawing everyone’s attention. “I finally find the perfect star for my _MAGNUM OPUS_ , and there’s no one with the right look to play his love interest!”

“Uh, what are you talking about?” One of the Boos asked, very confused. “What were you doing in there? We didn’t let you in!”

The new ghost scowled. “What do you mean 'what was I doing in there'? It’s MY studio after all! Morty Studios, named for me, _MORTY_! The greatest director to ever die!”

“Well you can’t go in there! Our King has designated this floor to sulk and plot in! Go away!”

“How dare you! I cannot possibly leave now! Not when my star is in there awaiting my flawless direction!” Morty snapped. The Boos glanced at each other, shrugged, and shot toward Morty with their mouths wide open, the clear goal being to cause as much pain as possible. They were both unexpectedly stopped by the director ghost slapping them both across the face with a clap-board he pulled from somewhere best left to the imagination. “How rude!” Morty sniffed. The ghost then gasped as his eyes were drawn to Luigi for the first time. “OH! You! You’re perfect!”

“Wha- me?” Luigi pointed at himself in confusion as Morty dove toward him. He looked him up and down, grabbing his arm and feeling up his biceps. He even gave his mustache a stroke and his butt a quick slap. “Hey! Cut it out!”

“Yes, perfect! The perfect love interest for my movie! Your look is the perfect combination of unique and debonair, and your butt is too cute NOT to be on camera!” Before Luigi could protest properly, Morty grabbed his arm and dragged him straight through the closed door, leaving the man reeling as the sickly cold feeling settled into his bones. He officially _hated_ being phased through things, it felt terrible every time! At least the stunned Boos were left behind and didn't seem to bother following them. The studio beyond the door was pretty standard fair, with a sound stage set up in the center of the room, surrounded by cameras and viewing screens. To the sides of the room were doors that presumably led to auxiliary sets and, most impressively, toward the back of the room was a miniature city set up for aerial shots. Overall, this studio was the cleanest and least deteriorated hotel floor that Luigi had seen so far. It was clear that this ghost cared about his movies, even if Luigi had his doubts that anyone ever got to view them aside from the director himself.

“Wow, nice set up,” Luigi complimented. Morty looked absolutely delighted.

“Thank you, young man! Yes, I put a lot of effort into my art, and you will soon see how well it pays off! Now, here’s your script!” Morty pushed a handful of pages into Luigi’s hands.

Luigi took a moment to read the script, and let out a strangled noise. “Um, this just says to ‘cry for help' over and over until the end where it says to ‘sigh happily’ and say “I do?”

Morty nodded rapidly. “Yes, is it not GENIUS?! Remember, in film, show don’t tell!”

“I’m pretty sure you’re supposed to tell _something_ …”

“Anyway! Are you ready to meet your co-star?” Morty spoke over Luigi and grabbed him around the shoulders, steering him toward the door on the wall marked with a '2'.

“Um, I guess?” Luigi said. Then he shrieked and dug his heels into the ground when they approached the door. “I’ll open it myself!”

“Huh? Well, suit yourself,” Morty shrugged. Luigi sighed in relief and brushed his hands off on his shirt before easing open the door. Within seconds, Luigi was forced to jump backwards as a pillar of black smoke billowing out of the door. He started coughing hard, eyes watering after getting an unfortunate face full of it.

“Th-the room’s on fire!” Luigi managed to hack out.

“Well of course it’s on fire!” Morty snapped, “We’re filming the daring rescue scene! Now get in there, and don’t forget your lines!” Morty grabbed Luigi by the collar and heaved him straight through the door into the middle of the set, where he hit the ground hard. He could just hear the door slam behind him. “ALRIGHT! Lights, camera, _ACTION_!” The director’s voice echoed through the room, but Luigi couldn’t see much of anything. He was stuck keeping his face close to the floor, lucky enough that the air was mostly clear there, but with enough dust and debris above him that he couldn’t tell much about the room around him. He could feel a wall of heat to his right, clearly where the fire was coming from. He hoped that it was only the set pieces on fire and there weren’t any flames heading his direction. He had to get out of there, or this crazy ghost was going to kill him!

“HEY! SAY YOUR LINE, LOVE INTEREST!” Morty’s voice shouted over the roar of the blaze, and Luigi slammed his eyes shut against the stinging air.

“HELP!” Luigi screamed out, and a bit of ash flew down his throat, leaving him gagging. “Hah- hah- help…” Luigi felt his throat growing sore from effort.

“Never fear, beloved! Your hero is here!” A dark, spooky voice, the tone a complete contrast to the line spoken, came from somewhere above in the smoke. There was a pause. “Can I try that again? I don’t think it sounded believable.”

“Sure, sure, we’ve got plenty of tape!”

“N-no,” Luigi groaned, coughing harder. “P-PLEASE! I c-can’t…”

“Wait a minute, I know that voice!” The voice echoed again, “Luigi? Is that you?” Luigi was coughing too hard to answer now, but he certainly heard the deafening, monstrous roar that came soon after, followed by a huge burst of wind. Within seconds, the heat vanished and the smoke blew away from overheard, revealing King Boo hovered above, eyes blazing red and blown wide. Although the air was now clear, Luigi had still inhaled a lot of smoke and lay on the floor face down, still letting out odd coughs. King Boo’s fin-like arms turned in on themselves, mimicking clutched fists. The ghost shook as he turned to Morty, who was sitting behind a camera and looking fairly angry himself.

“Hey! You ruined my shot!”

“Ruined your SHOT? You almost killed Luigi!” King Boo growled. “I only agreed to this bullshit because you said it would be a good rehearsal for when I finally won my fiancé back, and you nearly killed him!”

Morty looked at Luigi on the floor with confusion. “Oh, I didn’t know he was your fiancé. Congratulations!” Luigi closed his eyes and groaned. “Anyway, he was perfectly fine! I’ve shot plenty of fire scenes before! Ghosts are totally not hurt by fire, trust me!” Morty laughed lightly, then let out a short scream when King Boo rushed him and grabbed him by the collar, hoisting him up and knocking over his camera in the process.

“LUIGI IS NOT A GHOST! HE IS A HUMAN, AND YOU ALMOST KILLED HIM!” King Boo roared in the director’s face.

Morty blinked, looked back at Luigi, and blinked again. “Huh. Whoops. Didn’t notice that.”

“Didn’t…? HOW COULD YOU NOT NOTICE THAT?! He doesn’t float, he’s not see-through, he can’t walk around a room without his rushing blood and thudding heart giving away his every movement!”

“Well, I was in my artistic mind space! You can’t blame me for overlooking small details in pursuit of the big motion picture!”

King Boo’s body turned a myriad of angry colors as Morty looked down longingly at his clearly damaged camera. After a moment of silence, King Boo was forced into a reluctant admission as he hung lower in the air. “I’m so angry I don’t even know how I want to destroy you.” 

“L-leave him alone, it’s not w-worth it…” Luigi mumbled from the floor. King Boo gave the director one last glare before dropping him. He gave him an ‘I’m watching you’ gesture with his arms, and then hurried over to hover over Luigi’s face.

“Are you okay?” King Boo asked, sounding nervous. Luigi looked up at King Boo, hovering right in front of a stage light so his whole body lit up like a paper lantern. Luigi giggled.

“You look pretty like that.”

“MY GOD, HE’S GONE INSANE!” King Boo wailed, pounding a fist on the floor beside Luigi. Luigi shook his head, swallowing a couple of times against his raw throat. He waved his hand around for a moment before King Boo finally got the hint and grabbed it, letting Luigi pull himself up into a sit.

“Water?” Luigi asked, rubbing his throat. King Boo seemed to be a stunned for a moment, then nodded rapidly.

“WATER!” King Boo screamed into the room. Within seconds, a pair of blue ghosts appeared, carrying a bucket between them. The water sloshed as it was dropped next to Luigi and the ghosts fled the scene as soon as it was left. Luigi frowned at the bucket. The water looked clean, but his gloves were dirty. He peeled them off with his teeth, knowing they were probably too stained now too be salvageable. He cupped his hands in the water and leaned over to drink a few mouthfuls before letting out a relieved sigh at last.

“Thank you,” Luigi finally managed to say without immediately coughing. He looked up to see King Boo still looking a bit fretful. “Um, I’m okay?” King Boo’s entire body seemed to slump in relief. Luigi idly dusted a bit of soot off of his knee. “So… I heard you were sulking in here?”

King Boo’s cheeks turned a little red. “Um, and plotting!” He didn’t deny the accusation, though. Luigi sighed and patted the ground next to him. King Boo looked uncertain, but consented to hover closer and settled near the floor where Luigi wanted him. Luigi leaned forward to hug his knees and settled his chin on them, appearing to address the wall in front of him more than the ghost beside him.

“So, you really _were_ flirting with me?”

“Of course I was!” King Boo exclaimed, sounding hurt.

“And you… like me?”

“Well OBVIOUSLY!” King Boo waved his arms in the air. “If I DIDN’T like you, I wouldn’t have gone through all this trouble! I would’ve tried to imprison you in a painting by now, or sent minions to kill you, or well, let you die just now!”

“Huh,” Luigi buried his face down further in his knees to hide the tiny smile that was tugging its way onto his lips. “You know, if you wanted me to like you back, you probably shouldn’t have led with kidnapping Mario again.”

“Urgh, this again.” King Boo pouted. “You ruined my plans twice! I have every right to seek my ghostly revenge! And I didn’t even kill anyone! I very reasonably locked your family away, SAFELY, in paintings for eternity. It’s a perfectly reasonable way to settle the score! You did wrong by me, I do wrong by you, and we’re even!”

Luigi felt a prickle of annoyance and the budding smile left his face as he glared at the ghost. “How are we even? Wronged me first both those times! You kidnapped Mario _before_ I stopped you!”

King Boo rolled his eyes. “That doesn’t count!”

“Why wouldn’t that count?!”

“Because THOSE times, I did that because I was mad at MARIO.” King Boo drew out his words as though he were speaking to a child. “So it was MARIO I wronged, not you! THIS was the only time I kidnapped Mario specifically to annoy you!”

Luigi twitched. Really? That’s how he was justifying this? “Well, I’m annoyed. Congratulations. Guess you win, huh?”

King Boo perked up. “Yeah! I win!” Then, he frowned. “It doesn’t mean much if I don’t get the prize though.” Luigi was suddenly jerked backwards, and he let out a shout as he realized King Boo was pulling on his Poltergust. “Take this off, already! I’m sick of looking at it!”

“Hey, NO!” Luigi yanked himself free and pointed his flashlight at the ghost, ready to fire. King Boo huffed, but held his arms up in surrender. Luigi wasn’t done, though. “Why do you have to be like this? Why did you trick me by pretending to be a human ghost anyway, if you wanted me to like YOU? Nothing you do makes any sense!”

King Boo’s mouth thinned and he looked down at the floor. “Well… I mean, look at me.” He gestured down at his round body with his tiny arms. “I mean I’m an incredibly handsome Boo! I know that! But you’re a human, so I figured you probably wouldn’t want… this,” he trailed off, and Luigi lowered his weapon a little.

Against his better judgement, Luigi felt a touch of sympathy. “Hey, I mean, I’ll admit the form you chose to take was very handsome. But there’s more to liking someone than appearance. I mean, I don’t look like a Boo, but you still like me, right?”

“That’s different! You’re cute!”

Luigi ducked his head a little to hide his face. “W-well, I mean, thank you. But you can be cute too!” Luigi’s eyes widened. “Uh, I mean, I, um," Luigi bit his tongue when he suddenly remembered why he was talking to King Boo at all. Wasn’t he supposed to be seducing him? This is why Luigi could never get an acting career off the ground.

Luckily, King Boo didn’t seem to notice Luigi’s uncertain expression in the face of Luigi’s declaration. “You think I’m cute?” King Boo pointed to himself, and an extremely pleased smile stretched its way across his face, widening into a grin. “Heh heh heh heh…. Ha ha ha ha… MWAH HA HA HA HA HA!” Luigi scuttled backwards as King Boo twirled in a circle, then dove at him, grabbed Luigi’s arms and dragged Luigi into an energetic waltz around the room. “I knew it!” King Boo laughed excitedly as they spun faster to the point Luigi was starting to feel a bit sick. “I knew I would get you! You were doomed from the moment you entered my clutches!”

Luigi was finally released and he staggered against a nearby charred set piece, holding his head in a desperate attempt to stop it from spinning. “Urgh, why do you have to make everything sound so creepy?” King Boo did not appear to be listening. Instead, he clapped and eight Boos appeared in front of him in two vertical rows, appearing to ‘stand’ at attention.

“Yes boss?” All eight spoke in unison.

King Boo raised his arms to address his peons. “Let it be known that my beloved has finally accepted his feelings for me! As such, I expect wedding preparations to be…” King Boo trailed off and appeared to count the Boos in front of him. “Uh, why are there only eight of you? There’s supposed to be sixteen!”

The Boos looked at each other nervously. Finally one was shunted forward by his fellows to speak. “Well uh, so it looks like Helen Gravely found a Poltergust and is sort of… waging war against us. The rest of us Boos were captured.”

King Boo’s jaw dropped. “What?! How can that-” King Boo whirled around to glare at Luigi in a very dark and menacing way. “Did you know about this?”

Luigi didn’t even stop to think. “No! No, I didn’t!”

King Boo studied Luigi’s nervous face for a time, then growled and turned back to his Boos. “Get the rest of my ghosts assembled. Start creating a barrier under this floor immediately, and station the strongest Thwamps outside the elevator on every floor we still control to catch any coming up that way!” As the Boos scrambled to obey their leader, King Boo flew to Luigi and looked down at him with a strange expression. “You still want me to release your family, correct?”

“Ah, y-yes?”

“Then do a right by me and I’ll do a right by you,” King Boo said in the most serious voice Luigi had heard from him in a while. “Help me destroy Helen Gravely and her army. Help me to claim this hotel as my own, and I will allow your family to walk free from this place.”

King Boo held out his arm to Luigi, and Luigi looked at it as he worried his lip. “And what about me?”

King Boo laughed. “You? You will get the highest honor for acting as my general! To marry me, and to rule beside me in this place for all eternity!”

Luigi’s breath caught in his throat. He had to save his family, he really didn’t want to be part of a war, and he really didn’t think King Boo had any right to this hotel. Then again, Helen Gravely was clearly evil too. E. Gadd was clearly working with her, though, so he didn't have too much trouble with her. Besides, Luigi didn’t want to be trapped in this hotel for all eternity, even if King Boo did genuinely like him! Why did the first guy to ever like him this much also have to make this so difficult? He could have just asked him out normally. Well, Luigi probably would have said no given it was King Boo and all. But Luigi was strapped for choice at the moment. He was supposed to be making King Boo believe he was on his side, and as long as King Boo was defeated, Helen would free him and his family. And if he joined King Boo and King Boo won with his help, his family would be free at least. No matter what side he wanted to join, he had to agree. Agree to fight with King Boo. And also... agree to marry him?Was that what he was doing?! Luigi let out a short whine, but finally nodded and shook King Boo’s hand, just in time for two of the Boos to burst up from the floor and look at their boss fearfully.

“Boss, it’s too late! They’re coming up, now! You gotta move to a higher floor, we’ll hold’em off!”

King Boo hissed between his teeth and nodded, looking at Luigi seriously. “I know you don’t like it, but I’m taking you up through the floor, got it?”

“What? No way! I can’t-“ Suddenly, a great rumbling shook the floor and knocked Luigi off his feet. King Boo caught him in his arms and Luigi felt a shiver run straight up his spine at the cold touch.

“There’s no time to argue! We’re going!” And with that, King Boo launched up through the floor. Luigi only heard a burst of explosions below him before he entered the ceiling, and the unsettling feeling of his molecules getting repeatedly squeezed and pulled apart drowned out any other concern. It seemed that Luigi was captured by King Boo at last.


	12. War at the Museum

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Howdy yall, I didn't update the last couple days because I was sad. But I drank a lot of water, stayed up late and finished this. Here.

**12 War at the Museum**

When Luigi and King Boo finally finished phasing through the space between floors and landed on the white tiles of floor nine, Luigi was left shivering and gasping for breath. It seemed that every time he was phased through something it felt progressively worse, and that was the longest phase yet. He staggered upon hitting the ground, unable to find his feet. King Boo had to keep him steady as the poor man leaned hard into his nemesis.

“Um, shit, you look as pale as me!” King Boo grimaced and guided Luigi over to a nearby bench, pushing him down onto it and looking around with a scowl. “What happened to that cloak I gave you?”

“L-lost it in the g-garden,” Luigi supplied, teeth chattering.

King Boo grumbled. “Well we’re not getting that back anytime soon, so stay there!” King Boo snapped and flew off. Luigi crossed his bare arms and curled in on himself, trying to conserve heat. Luckily though the situation didn't seem dire this time. The color was returning to Luigi's cheeks even before King Boo came back with a tapestry, which he likely pulled off a wall. That didn’t stop the ghost from pulling the tapestry over Luigi’s shoulders like a blanket.

“That’s better, right?” King Boo asked, concern soaking his voice so much Luigi couldn’t even begin to deny the sincerity of it. He felt touched, despite himself.

“Yes, thanks,” Luigi said, giving King Boo a small smile and thumbs up.

King Boo frowned. “I guess I really shouldn’t be phasing you through things, apparently your body can’t take it.” The ghost snorted. “Well if I’d known that years ago, I would’ve won the first time we fought! Humans can get killed the stupidest ways.”

“You don’t spend much time around humans, huh?”

“Nope, just you.”

“Lucky me.”

“Exactly!” King Boo grinned. “So, ready for a fight?”

Luigi’s good humor evaporated, but he still gave a grim nod, getting to his feet and leaving the tapestry behind. He got a good look at the room they were in for the first time. It had a high ceiling and large windows, and was probably the largest space Luigi had been in since the hotel lobby. From the ceiling hung skeletons of pterodactyls, and a giant Tyrannosaurus Rex towered in the center of the floor. Most of the space was bare aside from the displays, but along the walls were some vases and paintings that were separated from the rest of the space by velvet ropes. Luigi figured this had to be part of the museum mentioned in the brochure.

“”We’re going to fight in here?” Luigi asked, feeling a touch scandalized. “This is a museum! We might break something!”

King Boo looked at Luigi as though he had said something mind-numbingly stupid. “Luigi, this place was abandoned. All the expensive important stuff was taken out already.”

“Oh, right! Silly me.”

“I mean, probably. Not like I care either way.”

“Hey! But-”

“And you shouldn’t either! There’s more important things going on right now, like war! And conquest! And taking what’s mine!”

“Oh, right,” Luigi held up the nozzle of his Poltergust timidly, squaring up his shoulders. At the least, this seemed like a good place to fight from in a strategic sense. They could see the whole space, not that it would help much if the enemy were invisible, but Luigi had to trust that King Boo would probably protect him from unseen threats, as he had done a lot of that so far.

King Boo let out a roar, pounded his fists together a couple of times. Then he let his mouth loll open, revealing every one of his shining fangs and his mighty, long tongue that nearly swept the floor at full extension. “I’m gonna call back my Boos and ghosts to amass here. Once I do, it won’t be long before the enemy comes up too. Try not to attack the ones on our side.” Luigi felt a bit uncertain on how he’d be able to tell King Boo’s ghosts from Helen’s. Other than the Boos and the more powerful, human-like ghosts, Luigi felt that most of the ghosts looked pretty similar. That said, didn’t Helen think he was fighting for her, and so maybe he should be trying to ‘accidentally’ suck up King Boo’s ghosts anyway? Ah, screw it. If a ghost came near him, he’d fight it, and that was that. King Boo clapped his hands once more, and within a couple of moments, seven Boos appeared in the museum atrium. King Boo looked at them with a grim expression. “We lost another one?” The Boos all nodded in shame. Their King let out a tortured sigh. “Fine. Summon the rest of the army.”

Then the Boos did something odd. The seven of them flew into the air in a circle, spinning slowly and then faster, one by one raising their voices in a weird, whistling sort of song. It made Luigi’s hair stand on end, like a thousand musical nails on a chalkboard. Then Luigi’s skin broke into goosebumps as the room temperature plummeted. From the floor, the walls, the ceiling, and out of thin air itself the room grew dense with ghosts of all colors. All floated at attention with evil grins, flexing their limbs, some holding weapons and some with only bare fists readying for combat. A couple nudged Luigi’s shoulders and gave him thumbs up. They really saw him as being on their side now. It was kind of nice. Except for the part where he was supposed to betray them all to help Helen. Unless he chose not to do that, and _actually_ sided with King Boo. Which would be crazy! Because if he sided with King Boo for real, he would be imprisoned forever. And Helen wasn’t going to do that, presumably. But as the ghosts lined the walls and prepared to descend upon the invaders, King Boo keeping Luigi close to his side, Luigi couldn’t help but feel bad about the whole thing. He was a good guy, he didn’t deceive people! He just didn’t! He was Luigi, as open and honest as they come! King Boo deserved it of course, being evil and all, but it still made him feel bad. Why did it have to make him feel bad? This wasn’t fair at all.

A silence fell over the room, and Luigi’s breath quickened in anticipation.

“Get ready…” King Boo said in a low voice. Luigi shivered and took a half step backwards. In the silence, Luigi heard the faint sound of the elevator doors opening on the far side of the floor, echoing through the wide space. He tensed up as a loud, inhuman shrieking started pouring down the corridor, growing in volume as more voices joined the cacophony. Luigi nearly jumped out of his skin as King Boo lurched forward and joined his voice to the howl, his own ghosts joining the chorus. As the first hotel-aligned ghosts started streaming into the room, Luigi picked out Chambrea holding a rolling pin, the bell boy with a heavy suitcase swinging, and even Morty floating above the action with a video camera (although he seemed more interested in filming action shots than attacking anyone). The ghosts fell into each other, sparks and bolts of energy flying, spirits bouncing off walls and each other. The sound was deafening, and Luigi could safely say he had never seen such a sight before, and definitely never so many ghosts in one place. He startled at the sound of a vacuum humming, and even checked his own Poltergust before recognizing that the sound wasn’t coming from him. Squinting through the tide of ghosts, Luigi could see glimpses of Helen Gravely, swinging a rapier against King Boo himself who was busily parrying with his teeth and tongue as though this was a completely reasonable way to duel. And near them, a flash of radioactive green was cutting a hole through the ghosts. One by one they were getting sucked into Gooigi’s duplicate Poltergust. Speaking of that, Luigi needed to get on that himself. He pressed the button on the nozzle to start up his Poltergust’s suction.

Nothing happened.

At first, Luigi thought he simply couldn’t hear the Poltergust over the sound of fighting all around him, but he could barely feel the usual vibrations of the device. When Luigi put his hand near the nozzle, he felt barely any suction. Luigi felt his stomach sink. Somehow, either in the fire or during the phasing between floors, his Poltergust must have gotten damaged. And now he was in the middle of a ghost war without a weapon! Luigi lifted his head and looked around in fear, expecting any number of ghosts to start heading for him at any moment, and yet none were. He was getting entirely ignored. Or rather, avoided. That's when Luigi remembered, all the ghosts thought he was supposed to be on their side! Helen must have told her ghosts to leave him alone, too! That was a bit of a relief anyway, though Luigi imagined he would only be able to get away with that for so long. If someone noticed he wasn’t fighting for either side, how long would it be before he back to being everyone’s enemy again? So, without thinking too much about it, Luigi began ducking and dodging around ghosts, trying to get to King Boo and Helen. After a quick test, it seemed that his strobe light still worked, so maybe he could at least shine the light on one of the leaders of the factions and give the other the edge needed to beat them. It wasn’t much of a plan, but it was the only thing he could think of.

Taking a wide arc around Gooigi, Luigi got in close to King Boo and Helen, still feeling indecisive over who exactly he was going to try incapacitating. On the one hand, Helen was evil and he didn’t know if he could trust her. On the other hand, King Boo was also evil and he _knew_ he wasn’t going to be able to trust him! Also everything was so loud and chaotic, Luigi was starting to get a headache. He also jumped nearly a foot in the air when Helen suddenly locked eyes with him and started yelling.

“DON’T JUST STAND THERE, YOU IMBECILE! NOW IS YOUR CHANCE, GET HIM!” Helen pointed at King Boo, who turned to see Luigi and shot him a confused glance.

“What ARE you doing, Luigi? Turn that Poltergust on and take out this bitch!”

“HOW DARE YOU CALL ME A BITCH, FREAK! EN GUARD!” Helen screamed, sending a fury of sword work at the Boo before her. King Boo was quick to match her moves, but he kept giving Luigi side-a-long, frantic looks as though to ask why Luigi wasn’t doing anything. “LUIGI!” Helen screamed at Luigi again as King Boo knocked her backwards.

“LUIGI!” King Boo roared at Luigi the second his mouth got a break from battle.

Luigi couldn’t take this kind of pressure! “I can’t do anything!” Luigi confessed in a wail, sinking to his knees, “My Poltergust is broken! Look!” Luigi flicked the switch on and off several times, but still nothing happened.

King Boo threw his arms in the air. “Are you SERIOUS?! That thing stops working the second I actually need it to?! I can’t believe this!”

Helen’s face turned maroon with rage, her hair whipping around her head like a ball of pythons. “ **WHAAAAAT**?! HOW CAN YOU DO THIS TO MEEEEEE?? WHAT GOOD ARE YOU IF YOU CAN’T FIGHT, YOU LITTLE CREEP?!” Helen lurched forward again, but this time she was heading straight for Luigi! Luigi scrambled for his strobe light, but before he could reach it King Boo flew in Helen’s path, engaging her in combat again as Luigi sat back on the floor in shock. “Get out of my way and let me destroy that little twerp!” Helen snapped, actively trying to get around King Boo but getting stopped at every turn.

“No! He’s my fiancé, and his life and love belongs to me!” King Boo growled.

“His love? HA! Don’t make me laugh, haven’t you realized it yet?”

“Realized what?”

“That your precious little meat sack was working for _me_ the whole time!” Helen said triumphantly as King Boo froze in shock. “ _I’m_ the one who told him to seduce you to get you to let your guard down, and then to strike you down when you least expected it! What did he do, confess his undying love? Try any sexy one liners? Tell you he didn’t care if you were a Boo?” King Boo flinched a little at that last line, and looked back at Luigi with wide eyes. Luigi’s mouth went dry. How could he respond to that? It was true, that is what he agreed to do after all. “See? He isn’t going to deny it, so let’s just get him out of the way. That way I can finally get rid of the rest of these losers in peace!” King Boo still looked uncertain of how to respond to this revelation, and this gave Helen the chance to dart around him. Luigi screamed and hit his strobe light, freezing Helen in mid-air. But what was he supposed to do now? There were ghosts everywhere, King Boo was RIGHT THERE, and he had no useful weapons! Helen wasn’t going to help him anymore, and King Boo knew he lied to him! Then again, should King Boo really _care_ that he lied to him? Really? Luigi had an idea, but it was a risky gambit. 

“Did… did you really just say that because Helen told you to?” King Boo asked. 

Luigi licked his lips quickly, feeling a stab of desperation. “Yes, and that shouldn’t matter!”

King Boo glared. “What do you mean?”

“NOW I’VE GOT YOU!” Helen yelled, only to be flash frozen once more, Luigi plowing forward in his hurried explanation.

“Because you did wrong by me, so I did wrong by you!” Luigi tried, using King Boo’s words from earlier.

King Boo raised his eyebrows as he regarded Luigi with curiosity. “When did I do wrong by you?”

Luigi drew himself up to full height. “You pretended to be Helenus Gravely, and tricked me into thinking you were helping me defeat King Boo. So I pretended that I was going to side with you when I already told Helen I would side with her! And I agreed to side with you when I didn’t intend to! So we’re even!”

King Boo squinted at Luigi for a moment. Then he nodded, shrugging. “Yeah okay, that’s fair.”

“SERIOUSLY?! I’M GOING TO DESTROY BOTH OF YOU!” Helen launched herself at Luigi, this time making contact and grabbing him around the throat, yanking him up into the air. He kicked and choked, scrambling at Helen’s transparent hands to no avail. Stars sparked in the corners of his eyes. On the edge of Luigi’s fading vision, he saw King Boo coming toward them at speed, and both of them were knocked out of the air and across the room on impact. Helen lost her grip on Luigi, but before he could hit the opposite wall a thick, hot weight wrapped around his waist, stopping him dead with his head an inch from a crushing demise. He cracked an eye open and found that he was wrapped up in King Boo’s tongue, being carefully drawn back toward the ghost’s gaping maw. Luigi actually felt some level of relief when he took stock of his position, which was definitely not something he would've been able to say twenty-four hours ago. King Boo set him on the floor and looked around the room at the walls, the ceiling, and the floor. Then he turned to Luigi and winced.

“If your Poltergust is broken, you can’t fight. Can you fix it?” King Boo asked.

“No, probably not. But E. Gadd can!” Luigi said quickly, “He’s in the basement, he might still help me!”

King Boo huffed, but agreed. “Alright, then go find him and get that fixed. BOOSEMENT!”

A Boo appeared beside them in seconds, looking worse for the wear but still ready for more. “Yes, boss?”

“Get Luigi to elevator and to the basement to get his Poltergust fixed, and do it now! There’s no time to argue!” King Boo pushed Luigi toward Boosement and then flew back into the fray, finding Helen fighting a number of King Boo’s ghosts at once. But Luigi didn’t have time to watch the action.

“Come on, kid, you heard your boyfriend!” Boosement laughed at Luigi’s pink face as the two started running through the chaos, into the less-crowded hallways, and out toward the now abandoned elevator. Luigi flung himself into it and hammered the button for the basement level, only catching his breath once the doors shut.

“I hope the professor can help,” Luigi muttered, looking at his useless Poltergust nozzle and feeling pretty disheartened over the whole thing. When he glanced up, he was surprised to see Boosement looking at him thoughtfully.

“So… you’re really on the boss’s side now, then? You gotta be, since Helen ain’t gonna help you anymore, since you failed her and all.”

“Oh, um… I-I suppose,” Luigi wasn’t sure he wanted to think about that.

“Huh.” Boosement frowned. “Does… does that mean I’m gonna have to call _you_ boss, too? After you get married, I mean.”

Luigi had no idea how to respond to that, and so he didn’t. Luckily, the elevator doors opened again soon enough, so he saw this as a good escape from the conversation and ran into the hall and the parking garage beyond. He was awash with relief when he finally hammered on E. Gadd’s lab door to be let in. Boosement took up a post near the door of the parking garage and hopefully out of sight of the camera.

“Ah, Luigi! Is the battle over already? I’ve been running scans on the building and there’s still a lot of spectral energy on the upper floors,” E. Gadd hadn’t turned to look at Luigi yet, typical.

“No, my Poltergust won’t turn on, look!” Luigi demonstrated as soon as E. Gadd actually turned to face him, then shrugged out of the Poltergust and handed it over to E. Gadd's open arms. “Can you fix it?”

E. Gadd hummed, flicked the switch a couple of times, and seemed to examine it for a bit before nodding swiftly. “Absolutely, my boy! Not a problem at all!”

“Oh good,” Luigi said, feeling relieved. “I need to get back up to the battle!”

“Yep, should only take a few hours!”

“Hours?” Luigi blinked. “I-I don’t have hours!”

E. Gadd scowled. “This is a delicate and complex piece of equipment! It’ll take HOURS because I’m a GENIUS! If I were your average scientist, this might take weeks or months to repair, don’t sass me!”

“Oh my god,” Luigi moaned, running his fingers through his hair. “Alright well, you fix it. I gotta go tell, uh, someone I won’t be back so soon after all.”

“Yes, yes, just stay out of my way for now.” E. Gadd muttered, already grabbing his tools and beginning to take the Poltergust apart. Luigi sighed and left the lab, heading over to Boosement still waiting by the door.

“Hey, that was fast!” Boosement said happily, “Let’s get back to the fight! Uh, where’s your vacuum?”

Luigi looked despondent. “E. Gadd said it will take a few hours to fix it. You have to go tell King Boo, I have to wait here for it.”

“Wait for it? We can’t just sit here _waiting_ for hours! If Helen comes back and finds you, she’ll rip you and your soul to pieces!” Boosement snapped, grabbing Luigi’s arm and pulling him sharply out the door and toward the elevator once again, ignoring Luigi’s protests. “The boss gave me the button for floor ten. We’ll find a place there to stash you till it’s safe.” Boosement pushed Luigi into the corner of the elevator and had the button screwed in and pushed before Luigi could even turn around. The door slid shut, and now Luigi was really in trouble. No Poltergust, one half of the ghosts out for his blood on Helen’s command, the other half out to ensure he married their boss. How could things get worse? Luigi looked down and noticed that his tennis shirt was now sporting a few holes and his shorts had a small tear by the seam that was slowly creeping up toward his groin. Yet another outfit destroyed. This was, without a doubt, the worst vacation Luigi had ever had.


	13. And They Were Tomb-Mates

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god they were tomb-mates.
> 
> Howdy gang here's another chapter for all y'all's needs. You can consider this possibly the last down time chapter, because after this I'm gonna have to double down on juicy bits if I want to move them into the sweet embrace of the Master Suite. Look. I've been going back and editing all these chapters and I get to this one and like... I know it's the shittiest chapter. I know that. I should've just cut this floor. If you skip this chapter you miss barely anything. I just wanted to make a stupid title pun that has nothing to do with anything. I apologize. Stay tuned y'all.

**13 And They Were Tomb-Mates**

Floor ten was, at one point, the second floor of the museum. However, it seemed as though the Ancient Egyptian exhibit had gotten out of hand. Boosement led Luigi through piles of sand heaped on the floor, into a cavernous room painted to look like the night sky above a far-reaching desert. The floor was covered in enough sand to make for a decent reproduction. In the center of the room stood a house-sized pyramid, flanked with imposing statues.

“Um, that’s not a _real_ tomb, right?” Luigi asked, as it became very evident that the pyramid could be their only possible destination.

“Of course it’s not a real tomb! It’s a converted museum exhibit, obviously.” Boosement rolled his eyes as he started feeling up the torso of the statue next to the pyramid entrance. “I mean, yeah, there’s real mummies in it. But hey, most museums have those.”

“Right. So, what are you doing to that statue?”

“Looking for- oh there it is,” Boosement pulled down the statue’s arm like a lever and the entrance to the pyramid slowly rumbled open. Boosement wasted no time in getting behind Luigi and ushering him inside. The small room Luigi was greeted with seemed nice enough. It had plush, colorful furniture, bright carpeting, palm fronds and an open sarcophagus that was mercifully empty. There didn’t seem to be any obvious doors other than what they came through, so Luigi actually felt pretty safe walking into the space.

“You know, this is kind of nice!” Luigi smiled.

“Glad you like it, you’ll be here a while,” Boosement snorted, flying back out the door. Luigi watched the Boo float back outside and over toward the statue, resolutely pushing the arm back into place. It wasn’t until the door was already closing that Luigi understood that he was getting sealed in, and no amount of screaming and running managed to get him out in time. The door sealed itself, and Luigi was left in torch light. He let out a groan and sank onto one of the cushy benches. Well, there were worse places to be trapped he supposed. And it wasn’t as though he was much good without his Poltergust anyway. Luigi flopped down to lie sideways on a well-placed fainting couch, tracing his finger sullenly along the stitching. Maybe he deserved this for not attacking King Boo when he had the chance. Mario never passed up a chance to attack the bad guys. Now look at him, weaponless and trapped in a pyramid, waiting for someone to rescue him. The worst part was that the BEST case scenario was for King Boo or his subordinates to come for him and tell him the war was over, and they won. And if _that_ happened, Luigi would be a sitting duck with no leverage and no weapons and could only hope to beg King Boo into freeing his family anyway.

The next best case was that King Boo or his subordinates came to get him, but the battle was still going on. In which case, he’d have to get back to the basement, hopefully get his Poltergust back in working order, and then actually be sent into battle again. This time with more violence, presumably, since Helen had turned on him. Although one upside to that would be that he could argue he held up his end of the bargain and fought for King Boo, so he would hopefully actually free his family in return. Would that mean he also had to agree to rule with King Boo for all eternity? Those scenarios were the best he could hope for, and that was tragic. The alternatives were Helen and her ghosts finding him here, and ripping him to pieces, or, well. If no one came back and he was stuck here, he would probably die of starvation. Or thirst more likely. Speaking of, Luigi smacked his lips. He really wished he’d asked Boosement for water before he got here. This floor was rather hot and dry, and Boosement probably would have given him some if he’d asked.

Luigi idly stretched himself out, then froze as he heard a ripping sound and felt his hip grow exposed to the hot, stale air. A quick glance down confirmed his fear, the side of his shorts had torn up to the waistband. Why could he not keep his clothes on today?! Well, this room had some textiles lying around, maybe he could make some kind of outfit for himself. It might kill a bit of time anyway. Luigi wandered around the space a couple of times, initially dismissing the carpets and drapery on the walls as too heavy to work with, but was starting to think that was all he had until it occurred to him to actually look inside the empty sarcophagus properly. Luigi brightened up as he saw what definitely looked like clothes inside the sarcophagus, fancy ones too! They didn’t even look especially old. Pulling them out, Luigi found a few pieces of cloth of medium weight, with various colors and designs. Nearby were a number of clasps and bits of ropes. Clearly all of this went together to form clothes of some kind, but Luigi had no idea how to make it work. Not that he didn’t have time to try figuring it out. Luigi pulled off his torn shirt and shorts, leaving them to one side. He also took off his brother’s shoes, and it felt good to walk barefoot after the night he’d been having. He reached for his head and only remembered his hat was gone when his fingers brushed the woven silver crown King Boo’s minions had given him. He pulled that off too, and looked at it in his hands for a moment before he set it aside with the shoes. He turned to the pile of cloth that was meant to transform into clothes and started struggling with it. After a few minutes, it became clear that Luigi wasn’t going to get anything approximating what the clothes were meant to look like. The best he could come out with was wrapping the largest, white piece of linen around his chest like a towel, letting it hang to his thighs and clasping it closed, tying it under his armpits with one of the ropes and used the green, longer piece of linen as a sort of belt around his waist. Luigi didn’t need a mirror to know this looked somewhat ridiculous.

“Maybe I can still use the t-shirt and just make this a skirt,” Luigi muttered out loud, but straightened in shock when loud scoff came from behind him.

“I’ve seen enough!” The deep, accented voice echoed in the small space, and Luigi whirled around to see the ghost of what could only be a member of Egyptian royalty glaring down at him. Luigi’s hand went to his side automatically, but his Poltergust wasn’t there, and oh God, did that mean this was it? Ripped apart by an angry ghost at last?

“Uh, are these your clothes? Ah, I’m so sorry, I-I’ll take them off right away!” Luigi started struggling with the linen, but the ghost’s shriek stopped him.

“Don’t touch it! If those rags on the ground are any indication, you clearly do _not_ know how to treat clothes!” The ghost sailed through the air with elegance to Luigi’s side and without further ado began quickly undoing Luigi’s knots and clasps, heedless of Luigi’s squeaks and pushing his hands aside every time he tried to cover himself.

“Um, s-sorry, right…” Luigi stepped back quickly as soon as the last scrap of clothing had been pulled away by the ghost. “I-I guess I’ll just…” Luigi turned to his old, raggedy clothes on the floor and reached for them, but was stopped again by the ghost’s hand on his arm, pulling him backwards.

“Don’t bother with those, if you’ve been left here as my hand maiden, you need to dress the part. Urgh, I haven’t had a proper servant in centuries! Guess it figures I’d have to teach you something as simple as dressing properly. Seems as though humans these days can’t do anything right,” The ghost muttered, and again began touching Luigi as she held up the cloth against him and started winding it around his waist and chest, clasping and tying as she went. Luigi could barely look at what was happening, even though the ghost was clearly not deriving any kind of pleasure from touching him this way it was still embarrassing. “There, that’s much better,” the ghost floated backwards to see her handiwork, and Luigi looked down as well. The formerly shapeless white linen he had tried to wrap himself in was now settled around his hips, hugging them in a far more form-fitting way, and even folded in a way that was aesthetically pleasing. His chest was covered in a criss-cross of the green cloth he had tried to use as a belt, and the yellowish gold piece had been fashioned into a belt instead, with a long piece hanging loose over the front of Luigi’s skirt. He had to admit, it didn’t look bad from this angle.The ghost nodded. “Yes, just a few more touches, some jewellery perhaps, and of course we’ll need to shave your head for a proper wig." Luigi gasped, hands twisting defensively into his hair. “But that can wait. You are my new servant. You will address me as Mistress Serpci, Flower of the Nile. As I’m sure you were told before you were entombed with me, I was one of the most beloved Princesses of Egypt. Therefore, I will be afforded respect and deference in all things, understand?”

“Um, actually, I’m not here because-“

“Now then, to the inner sanctum!” Serpci announced, and abruptly the floor gave out beneath Luigi’s feet. He screamed, naturally as one does when the floor goes out from under you, and you are suddenly left falling through the dark. He landed, however, in yet another deep pile of sand, and this was enough to prevent Luigi from getting worse than some new bruises for his trouble. “Get up! It is time to begin your duties, you will attend to me!” Serpci’s voice sounded further away, and reverberated around the much larger chamber. Luigi staggered to his feet and his eyes traveled up the tall, stone walls of what was clearly a deep tomb. There were tapestries on the walls, but the floor was mere dirt. Sand filled what once may have been a fountain in the center of the floor. A few doorways were embedded in the walls, but there were no clear ladders or stairs that might have lead back up to the surface. The thought that he was trapped again was hardly appealing, especially as many more, smaller, sarcophagi lined the floor along the walls. On a pedestal near the back of the space, carved out of stone, stood a magnificent and plush fainting couch, upon which Serpci reclined. On the pedestal beside her lay a large palm frond, looking oddly fresh amid the dry and dusty surroundings.

“W-what would you like me to do?” Luigi asked feebly, wringing his hands. Best to play along for now, and hopefully find a way out of this mess.

“Hm, just fan me for now. I’ll think of orders later. I think I want to take a nap.” Serpci leaned back on her pillows and gestured blandly to the palm frond. Luigi hurried over, slipping a little on the sand, and picked up the leaf fan. It was heavier than her expected, but he still hefted it into his arms and began fanning the ghost. “Not so hard! Geez, can’t you do anything right?”

“S-sorry.” Luigi grimaced a little, he had only been fanning for about a minute and his arms were already starting to ache.

After a few minutes fanning in silence, Serpci let out a groan and flipped over onto her stomach, folding her arms under her pillow and looking up at with a touch of curiosity in her eyes. “What’s your name, anyway?”

“Oh! It’s Luigi.”

“Huh, so strange the names these days. Tell me of the world outside, Luigi. It’s been so long since my body was transferred to this museum. Are the children still playing those charming video games?”

“Ah, nowadays I’d say everyone plays video games.” Luigi hummed. “I can’t really think of anything recent.”

“What about in the rest of the hotel? I don’t really leave my tomb much. The other spirits here are very strange, so modern.”

“Oh, well,” Luigi shrugged one shoulder. “They’re uh, kind of at war right now?”

“Huh? At war?” Serpci lifted her head, “Whatever for?”

“Well, King Boo. He's um... he’s this evil ghost… type thing…” Luigi always knew that Boos were different than human shaped ghosts, but he wasn’t entirely sure where the similarities and differences were besides their appearances. “Well, Helen Gravely set him free from... ghost prison?” He also wasn’t sure if using more technical words would lose his audience so he avoided them. “And then, stuff happened.” Luigi’s face turned red here and he looked away, “A-anyway now King Boo and Helen are warring over who gets to control the hotel.”

“Goodness!” Serpci swung her ghostly tail around to sit up. “That sounds rather exciting. But tell me, what is this ‘stuff’ that happened, you look rather flustered to mention it.”

Luigi made a strangled sound. “Um, well. Helen freed King Boo thinking they could rule the world together, but he locked her in a painting, and then me and my brother and his girlfriend came for a vacation, and King Boo disguised himself as a human type ghost and tricked us, and kidnapped my family, presumably also trapping them in paintings.”

“Uh huh? Go on,” Serpci motioned with her hand and Luigi swallowed hard.

“Er, then uh, well King Boo didn’t capture me at the same time… b-because we have some history of me uh, defeating his evil schemes? So he considered taking my family away as revenge, but then um he tried to capture me too, but um… I escaped! And I found the weapon I used to beat him before, a-and then King Boo pretended his human ghost disguise was trying to help me and- and-“ Luigi knew he was incredibly red now but he really didn’t want to talk about what King Boo wanted from him. “And it was a trick, and I eventually found out after Helen got free, and I was in the middle of the fight, and my Poltergust broke,” Luigi’s words sped up as he tried to hurry by anything else embarrassing. “I went to get it fixed, and King Boo’s henchman put me in here to keep me safe, and then now I’m here!”

“Keep you safe?”

“Oh! Uh, I mean?” Luigi fumbled with the fan a little, “Y-you know, so that King Boo can come for me himself! To uh… well anyway, that’s the whole story!”

Serpci squinted at Luigi. “There’s definitely more to it than that. You aren’t telling me something important.”

“Nnnnoooo I don’t think so?”

Serpci’s face darkened. In a moment she had risen into the air, the air around her growing heavy and scorching, bits of lightning and winds kicking up. Luigi shrieked, dropped the fan, and cowered. “I COMMAND YOU SLAVE, YOU WILL TELL ME YOUR SECRET!”

“King Boo’s in love with me!” Luigi yelped, then slapped his hands over his mouth, shocked at his own words.

Immediately, the atmosphere returned to normal and Serpci plopped back onto the fainting couch, now grinning like a Cheshire cat. “Oh? _Do_ tell.”

Well, no going back now. “Er, well, that’s what he… well he keeps implying- I mean he introduces me to people as his future husband and fiancé, even though I definitely did not agree to that, so I have to assume as much.”

“Oh! A commoner betrothed to a King? Now _that’s_ exciting! And romantic!”

“No! I mean, well, before I got here he never showed any sign of liking me that way before! It was all so simple, he would kidnap Mario and try to take over the world. I would solve his puzzles and beat his minions, eventually capturing him and putting an end to his evil. But this time he pretended to be a very handsome man and… and he did all these things for me. In retrospect they were nice things, even if they didn’t turn out so well. But he still kidnapped my family, and he was lying to me about who he was!”

“It’s like a soap opera!” Serpci enthused, but Luigi was starting to rant now.

“I mean, who does that?! And then, then he gets revealed just when I was about to- just when we were about to- well. And then Helen wanted me to seduce and betray him, but I’m not good at lying, and then he goes and saves my life and protects me which is nice. But he keeps saying creepy things, like he’s going to trap me here with him forever and I’ll never see my family again!”

Serpci shrugged. “Eh, still seems pretty romantic to me, but maybe you modern humans have different sensibilities.”

“It’s not romantic! It’s creepy and weird! Look, I mean, I’m not the kind of guy with a list of suitors, a-and I’d be lying to say there’s nothing appealing about King Boo at all. H-he can be cute at times, and he’s thoughtful in his own way. He even agreed to free my family as long as I help him defeat Helen! Not that I can really do that stuck in here."

“Hey, stay on track, I want to hear about the romance, not your family!”

Luigi huffed. “Well, the point is, I might be willing to give him a chance if he would just ask me on a date properly, and not treat me agreeing to be with him forever as a done deal! And he can’t just lock me up here for eternity, I have things to do! Mini-games to run! Uh, mushrooms to eat… you know.” Luigi trailed off and slowly sat down on the floor. “Huh, what do I do when I’m not chasing ghosts around?”

“So how does it end?”

“Huh?”

“How does the romance end! There’s a war going on, did he fall in battle? Did you cry? What?”

“Oh, oh no I don’t know what’s going on with the battle. My weapon broke, I told King Boo while he was fighting Helen, and he sent me with Boosement, and I ended up here.”

“No closure?!” Serpci gasped. “Just a tale of romance that ends with you locked in a tomb as a Princess’s slave for eternity?”

“Um, well, I didn’t intend-“

“This just won’t do at all!” Serpci was standing upright in a moment, snatching Luigi up in her arms and quickly rocketing up to the ceiling, through the hole Luigi had fallen through to start with. “I can’t stand a romantic story without an ending! Be it happy or tragic, I demand to see closure!”

“W-wait, where are you taking me?”

“Back to the battlefield, of course! I’m at least going to find out if this King Boo is still around, and then I demand that you tell him how you feel!”

“W-what do you mean how I feel? I didn’t say I felt anything!”

“You said you’d go on a date with him! That’s just code for you like him but you’re scared to admit it. I know all about these things, I’ve read libraries of romance novels!”

“Oh no,” Luigi whimpered as Helen flew toward the shut door, ignoring Luigi’s protest as she easily phased them through it. Luigi came out the other side, shaking and shivering as usual, but Serpci didn’t seem to notice. She looked about to dive down into the floor below, when something very unexpected happened. A giant, spectral head of a Tyrannosaurus Rex skeleton broke up through the floor, sending Serpci and Luigi further up into the air. The neck and shoulders of the dinosaur followed, revealing something even more unexpected. King Boo was sitting on the dinosaur’s shoulders, apparently riding the thing.

“LUIGI!” King Boo roared as the dinosaur fully emerged from the floor and took a couple mighty steps toward the shut pyramid. “I AM COMING FOR YOU, BELOVED!”

“Ooh, sweet catharsis!” Serpci sighed dreamily, holding Luigi out in the air.

“H-hey, what are you doing?” Luigi squirmed in the hold. Then he was unceremoniously dropped. “AAAAAAH!”

“Huh?” King Boo looked up just in time to see Luigi falling toward him, but not in time to catch him. Instead, Luigi landed straight on King Boo’s head and bounced off, hitting the side of the pyramid and rolling down into the sand where he lay moaning. King Boo, as soon as his head stopped spinning, managed to shake off his wooziness and realized what had hit him. He flew down from his dinosaur mount quickly and ended up by Luigi’s side, fretful yet again.

“Are you okay?”

“You seem to ask me that a lot,” Luigi said dully as King boo helped him up into a sit. “I’ll be okay. Did you… did you win?”

“Urgh, no. But Boosement told me you won’t have that dumb Poltergust back anytime soon, and _then_ he said he locked you into the pyramid here. It’s looking like Helen’s ghosts are going to overwhelm us down there, so I’m just here to move you up to the Master Suite.”

“Your Master Suite _now_? I think you have more important things to worry about than sex!” Luigi snapped. King Boo blinked.

“Um, I was just going to leave you there since it’s the most well-guarded area and go back to fight Helen off.” King Boo perked up and grinned. “But you know, I’m glad you’re thinking in that direction! And hey, maybe I could make time for a quickie, you look really nice in linens!”

“No!” Luigi slapped the ghost’s wandering hand away. “Anyway, what good is that? I have to help you fight Helen! You said I have to if I want my family to be freed!”

“How are you supposed to help like this?” King Boo glared. “You’re in no position to argue. You can’t help, so you’re going to stay up in the tower like a good little prisoner until I’ve gotten this little problem under control!”

“Helen has a Poltergust! What if you get hurt? What will I do then?!” Luigi snapped, “I want to help fight! Maybe I don’t have my Poltergust, but I’ll figure something out!”

“Oh my God, **JUST FUCK ALREADY**! You losers are _K I L L I N G_ me here!” Serpci yelled from above.

“I’ve been TRYING!” King Boo snapped, then paused. “Uh, who are you?”

“I am Princess Serpci, the Flower of the Nile!”

“Are you aligned with Helen Gravely?” King Boo narrowed his eyes.

“HA! I am far older than Helen Gravely, I don’t bother with her.”

“Well…” King Boo looked uncertain for a minute, then shrugged. “Anyway, we’re going upstairs, and that’s final!” As King Boo spoke, the ground rumbled and bubbled as ghost heads beginning to emerge around them like a grotesque bed of flowers blooming. Luigi jumped into the air, and King Boo caught him in his arms, quickly rising up near the ceiling beside Serpci.

“HEY! What are they all doing in here? STAY AWAY FROM MY TOMB!” Serpci shrieked, eyes flaring red as a black sandstorm began to rapidly form around them, blocking the emerging ghosts from view.

“Sorry, just try to hold on,” King Boo cradled Luigi close, “Maybe hold your breath? Close your eyes?” The last thing Luigi saw before he shut his eyes was the briefest glimpse of Helen Gravely screaming into the wind and getting a mouthful of sand below them. Once again, his body felt like it was being pulled apart at the seams, bile rose in his throat, and all he could do was pray that it would all be over soon.


	14. Making Magic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Humans are not meant to phase through solid objects. Villains aren't made to be adept at saving heroes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Been a while but I'm back. I want to finish this fic by the end of April, and damn it, I'm gonna give it my best shot. But I have also been binge watching all of Pokemon. So. That's been distracting. Yeah anyway here's this thing.

**14 Making Magic**

Luigi came back to consciousness while lying on something hard and flat that was doing murder to his back. He groaned and shifted, discovering that he was weighed down with what felt like the heaviest blanket in the universe. There was a voice calling his name from nearby, but Luigi still felt like his head was swimming and the voice seemed to echo. He cracked his eyes open and found that the room on the other side of them was dimly lit. Also, King Boo’s face was right in front of him, but he was finding that to be less and less shocking as the night wore on.

“I’m okay,” Luigi mumbled, managing to turn over onto his side and immediately felt drained by the action. “Just five more minutes.”

King Boo let out a low whine and pressed his ‘hand’ against Luigi’s forehead. “Finally, you’ve warmed up! Look, you’ve got to get up. We only went up one floor, and Helen got control of the elevator. She’s got operatives on this floor, too. We’re not exactly in the best cover right now, either.” King Boo left Luigi’s side and the man’s eyes followed him around the small room they were in. There were three doors along the walls, each of them sealed with the cage of spectral energy. Usually those would be used to keep the plumber trapped, but this time Luigi assumed it was meant to keep others out.

“What happened? Why did I pass out?” Luigi asked as he tried to move again, this time with some more success. The blanket felt a bit lighter now, and he was able to push it down from his torso and work on trying to stretch his hands above his head.

King Boo threw his arms in the air and rolled his eyes. It seemed like an over reaction, but King Boo didn't seem to know how to communicate any other way. “Like _I_ would know! For some reason, every time you go through a wall you end up closer to death, and I don’t even know _why_. I mean, it’s not like I make a habit of taking living things through solid objects, but I guess it’s not good for your health since you went and passed out cold for two hours.”

“TWO HOURS?! I was unconscious for two hours?! What’s been happening? Where are we, anyway?” The adrenaline from this revelation was enough to drive Luigi up and off whatever he had been lying on. A look back revealed the strange sight of a painted box with a tarp slipping off of it. It seemed to be locked shut, but the holes on either end made Luigi think of one of those boxes magicians would use to saw pretty ladies in half. The rest of the room was painted in dark colors, with a dart board on one wall. Various scattered objects like handcuffs and wineglasses adorned the floor. Some shattered furniture in the corner, really just bits of wood and springs, seemed to indicate that a bed may have been there at some point, so maybe this was another hotel suite?

“Uh, oh, I think this is the floor they used for VIP guests,” King Boo shrugged, “Though obviously it's been, urgh, taken over.”

“Taken over? By who?”

“The only ghosts in this place more annoying than Helen Gravely,” King Boo frowned. “Now stay back, the energy shield’s about to drop again.”

“What?”

“Well they don’t stay up forever, obviously,” King Boo snapped as the energy shields gave a sharp flicker and vanished. Immediately the room temperature dropped and a chorus of high pitches giggles flooded the space.

“Well, well, well, looks like your beloved lived after all!” a high, nasally voice seemed to come from all directions at once as all three doors burst open and through each of them floated one of three nearly identical ghost women. Each wore dark purple top hats with matching purple tailcoats. The only difference between any of them was that one had her yellow hair in a ponytail, the other two having pigtails. The one with short pigtails was the one who spoke. “Hello, Luigi! I’m Ginny! Want to see a magic show?”

“Hello! I’m Nikki!” The one with longer pigtails giggled. “Yes, come watch our show Luigi! We’ve been performing for the ‘King’ for hours and I don’t think he appreciates us at all!”

“And I’m Lindsey!” The one with the ponytail spoke last. With a wink and a snap of her fingers, a crackle of electricity to lit up her aura. “Trust me, our act is a real show stopper!”

“N-no, I’m good actually!” Luigi stammered, backing up against the magician’s box and perking up to see King Boo immediately getting in between him and the hostile ghosts.

“Get out of here!” King Boo snapped, “I’m tired of dealing with you!”

“Oh boo-hoo, I know you want to just eat us all and be done with it!” Ginny snickered, twirling in the air until she was hanging upside down. “But you caaaaaan’t!”

“I could if you’d all just STAY STILL and stop going for my fiancé every time I took my eyes off you- hey!” King Boo whipped around and launched himself past Luigi's shoulder. Luigi turned in time to see Ginny vanishing from King Boo’s warpath, and the other two girls laughed hysterically.

“Oh yes, VERY scary! Scary old King Boo, left exposed as he races again and again to protect a weak and defenseless human!”

“And your reaction was SLOW that time.” Lindsey grinned. “Are we wearing you out? Maybe this time we’ll get you! Third time’s the charm after all!”

“No way! As if I could be defeated by the likes of YOU!” King Boo snapped, and just like that, his tongue shot out of his mouth, slamming Lindsey into the wall opposite. The ghost groaned, but the other two were quickly upon King Boo. To the King’s credit, he was adept at fighting three at once. He shot fire balls, bit, and lashed out with his tongue over and over. Pulses of energy (that Luigi had to quickly climb back on his box to avoid) kept the trio of ghost girls at bay, but for what the girls lacked in sheer power they made up for in speed, evasion, and the advantage of numbers. And true to King Boo’s word, every time King Boo was distracted enough by the other two, the third would be quick to fly at Luigi. He would let out a yelp and King Boo would be forced into taking hits as he hurried over to knock the encroaching ghost away. Luigi had to assume that this was what King Boo had been dealing with for the last two hours, knocking back these three only to seal the room again and wait for Luigi to regain consciousness. Luigi had no idea what King Boo’s plan was for once Luigi was awake, but he doubted it was this. Contrary to King Boo’s assertion, it seemed that he was in fact starting to wear down. Only a few minutes had passed, but King Boo found himself backed into a corner by the ghost magicians. He shot out his tongue like a bullfrog, only to have Ginny and Lindsey grab hold of it.

“AH! LEGGO!” King Boo shrieked, yanking backwards as the girls cackled in terrible unison. With King Boo held down, Nikki turned a terrifying smile toward Luigi, and began to swiftly dive toward him. Acting on instinct, Luigi leapt up from the table into a mighty jump, and slammed down on Nikki’s remarkably solid hat, jamming the whole thing down firmly upon the ghost and trapping her inside. Meanwhile, the momentum of the jump launched Luigi up to the ceiling, where he landed on top of the dangling light fixture and ceiling fan. Below him, Nikki made muffled noises as she struggled to escape her own hat to no avail. Everyone else was looking up at Luigi in shock. The other two magicians released King Boo to frantically try to free their friend. Meanwhile, King Boo addressed the brand new elephant in the room.

“You can _jump_?” King Boo asked, mouth agape.

Luigi looked down at King Boo as though the ghost at sprouted wings and six heads. “What do you mean? Of COURSE I can jump! I can jump higher than Mario, that’s my whole THING!”

“What do you mean that’s your whole thing?! I’ve literally _never_ seen you do that before!”

“I do it all the time! The only games I play in where I DON’T jump are when I’m stuck fighting with the Poltergust, since it’s too heavy!” Luigi paused. “Huh, I guess that _is_ whenever you would be around.”

“So that means you CAN still fight! Get down here and help me!” King Boo demanded, tongue lolling out of his mouth as Ginny grabbed Nikki’s hat and Lindsey grabbed the end of her tailcoat and both began pulling hard.

“W-wait, thing is, jumping only ever stuns ghosts! I can’t actually defeat them like this!”

King Boo grinned. “That doesn’t surprise me, after all, you’re always stunning!”

Luigi looked down blankly at King Boo for a moment as that sank in. He slapped a hand over his eyes. “Oh my God… that one sucked so bad.” But he was also fighting back a smile twitching at his mustache.

“Well get down here already! All I need is time to swallow!” King Boo let out a loud, maniacal laugh just as Nikki popped free. Lindsey gasped, looking up just in time for Luigi to fall on her head, and soon she was trapped instead. Luigi tried to use the momentum to land on Ginny next, but the ghost managed to avoid him just in time.

“Mwah ha ha… yes that will do nicely…” King Boo advanced on the trapped magician, saliva dripping from his fangs.

“That’s our cue to disappear!” Nikki piped up, and in the blink of an eye, she and Ginny summoned a black curtain that threw itself over the trio and flattened to the floor, leaving only rapidly fading disembodied screams in its wake.

“Uh, so what now?” Luigi asked. However, as King Boo opened his mouth to answer, Luigi saw the figure of Nikki loom out of the wall behind him, a large fireball dancing in her hands as she raised them to strike. Luigi gave a shout of warning, leaping up into the air without thinking. He bounced lightly first off on King Boo’s head, sending the Boo spinning as he landed firmly on the magician, knocking her to the floor just as her companions appeared as well, only to shriek, grab their friend, and vanished down into the floor. Luigi stared at the place they vanished, breathing hard, and then looked over at King Boo. King Boo was blushing. King Boo was blushing _hard._

“Y-you just saved me,” King Boo said, staring at Luigi, entire face bright pink. Luigi couldn’t help but think he looked, somehow, _cute_.

Luigi nodded, a little dumbstruck. “Uh, er, I mean… y-yes? I just… I don’t know. Y-you were obviously protecting me all this time, and I didn’t want you to get… hurt?” It was bizarre, and Luigi didn’t know when he came to this point, but Luigi found that he really didn’t want to see King Boo take a serious hit from another ghost. Now what? “W-we should go, before they come ba- AH!” Luigi suddenly had a face full of King Boo, who had rapidly crossed the space between them and was looking at him with half-lidded eyes.

“I can lock the room again,” King Boo hummed, “We could have a good twenty minutes.”

“A good twenty minutes for- oh no, no we can’t- you’re supposed to be in the middle of a war!” Luigi soon found himself backed against the wall, fending off King Boo’s wandering hands yet again.

“It can wait twenty minutes!”

“It’s already waited TWO HOURS! Who knows what’s going on down there? Do you even have any ghosts LEFT that are on your side?!”

King Boo worried his bottom lip for a moment, a worrying sight indeed with fangs that sharp. But in the end he just shrugged. “Eh, I’m stronger than all those losers put together anyway.”

“You were almost beaten by those three just now!”

“That’s only because I was trying to save YOU! If I didn’t have _you_ to worry about, then I would’ve easily defeated them one by one! That’s why I was trying to put you in the Master Suite, it’s already fully fortified and if you were SAFE I wouldn’t have to worry about you!”

Luigi groaned and massaged his temples. He felt a dull headache forming. “Well, if it’s been a few hours, E. Gadd might be done with my Poltergust? We could try to get it from him.”

“Well I can’t take you through the floor again!” King Boo said, looking horrified at the thought. That was a switch. Luigi guessed that passing out for so long must have actually shaken King Boo up pretty badly.

“Well let’s go find the elevator then!”

King Boo made a strangled sound. “Through the doors?”

“Uh, yeah? I can’t go through the walls now.”

“Easier said than done.”

“What do you mean?”

“Hey, you want to try, be my guest,” King Boo gestured to the closest door. Luigi shot him a strange look and opened it, stepping into a large bathroom with a diamond patterned floor and a large bath tub. King Boo followed him inside, and the door behind them slammed shut.

“Are we trapped?” Luigi asked in alarm, hurrying around King Boo to the door.

“Well, _I’m_ not trapped,” King Boo muttered as Luigi breathed a sigh of relief when the door easily opened up again. None the less, the man’s mouth dropped open when the room beyond wasn’t the same as the one he had left. The floor he stepped onto looked more like a ceiling, with a light and fan in the center of the space. Luigi moaned in horror to find a clock and paintings hanging upside down, a bed and dresser stuck high up on the wall, and a couple of chairs hanging by their legs from the ceiling. It was like walking into a fun house. Luigi heard the door slam behind him and yelped, turning to see the door shut again, but King Boo at least seemed to have gotten into the room before it did.

“Urgh, see? The doors all act as random portals between the rooms on this floor. I can go through the walls and they act normal, but any time I tried to bring you through a door we ended up somewhere else. It’s a pain in the ass.”

“Well, uh, I guess we should just keep trying doors, then? We should find the elevator eventually. And since I’m awake now, I won’t be as much of a liability?”

“I guess,” King Boo floated over to one door, opened it, and found three grinning faces cackling behind it. Without a word, the Boo slammed the door shut and a moment later the energy cages were back on every door.

Luigi threw his hands in the air. “What good did THAT do?! Now we’re just stuck here again!”

“Urgh, I’m just not ready to deal with them again right now.” King Boo frowned, hovering over to the bed on the wall and yanking the blanket off of it.

“What do you- hey!” Luigi was quickly buried by the blanket as it was thrown over his head. It took him a minute to pull it off and he glared up at King Boo once he managed to get his head free. “What was that for?”

“You’re barely wearing anything!” King Boo snapped, “I’m not letting you get cold again!”

Luigi flushed. “I’m fine, it’s not that cold in here.”

“It might be later! I don’t know!”

“Look, I know that I must have scared you passing out like that, but-“

“You stopped _breathing!_ ” King Boo snapped, and Luigi blinked rapidly a couple of times.

“Uh…”

“You stopped breathing, I tried mouth to mouth like I saw on that soap opera, but remembered I’m a fucking ghost and don’t have any air to give you, so I just hit your chest a couple times and you breathed, which was good, but then you still didn’t wake up and I didn’t know what to do!” King Boo rubbed his arms together nervously and started flying back and forth as though he were pacing. “I’m the villain! Protecting people and saving lives aren’t stuff I normally DO!”

“Well, um, I appreciate it,” Luigi said carefully as he headed over to the closest door and stared at the energy encasing it, wondering how much energy King Boo needed to make something like that so many times in a row. He turned back to King Boo who was still ‘pacing’. Threats against his family’s safety aside, Luigi had to admit, King Boo had been doing a lot for him lately. He was ferociously misguided on a lot of things, but maybe it wouldn’t hurt to talk to him a little, get to know who he was beyond the villain thing. He had already proved he was capable about actually caring about Luigi’s life and well-being, so there must be more to him than Luigi had seen before. “King Boo?”

King Boo stopped mid-pace and looked at Luigi. “Yeah, what?”

Luigi cringed a little, but pressed on, walking a little closer to the ghost. “Um, so before, when we were in the garden?” King Boo perked up, a perverted smirk tugging at his mouth. Luigi hurried on. “You said you were never alive. Did you just say that because you couldn’t think of a backstory for your disguise, or is that true?”

King Boo’s mouth twisted a little, likely uncertain why Luigi was questioning him about this all of a sudden. “Of course it was true! Why would you think I was alive? I assume you mean in the flesh body sense, anyway.”

“Well, I mean, you’re a ghost, aren’t you?” Luigi asked, stretching a little and then sitting cross legged on the floor in front of King Boo. The ghost only looked at Luigi for a half second before sinking down to the floor as well to keep eye contact. Luigi hadn’t even had to prompt him this time.

“I mean, I’m a ghost, but ghosts are just beings made of pure energy,” King Boo frowned a little, “Isn’t your best friend a ghost scientist? Shouldn’t you know this?”

Luigi laughed a little. “I don’t know if I’d call E. Gadd my _best_ _friend_ , but he doesn’t really tell me much other than how to use his equipment and what he wants me to do next.”

King Boo looked thoughtful for a moment, rubbing the side of his head. “Ok, so, human souls are made of energy, right? When humans die, their body and soul detach, and usually the soul goes on to another plain of existence from this one. But other times the soul gets attached to the energy of this plain of existence, and becomes a ghost.”

“Because of unfinished business?”

King Boo snorted. “Eh, sometimes. It’s usually just a case of getting too attached to the material aspects of their life. But even then, like, usually not even the whole soul sticks around here.”

“Huh?”

“What, you thought those weird laughing blue guys were all full souls? HA!” King Boo started laughing hysterically, wiping at his eyes as Luigi looked at him blankly. “Oh, seriously? That’s… no, those are like, when a bit of soul gets left over after most of the soul moves on. Why did you think there was so many of them that all look the same?” Luigi shrugged. He hadn’t thought about it. “Wow, you really just suck first, ask questions later, huh?”

Luigi felt a flush of shame. “W-well it’s not like they didn’t attack me first! A-anyway, so being a ghost can happen multiple ways, then? What about Boos? You don’t come from human souls, too?”

King Boo shrugged. “Eh, not directly. Boos appear where lots of life is. Living creatures and people leak energy all the time, and it kind of swirls into little eddies... You know how stars form?” Luigi cocked his head to one side and shrugged. “Wow, education in the Mushroom Kingdom is shit. If you’re going to marry into royalty, I’m going to have to get you a tutor or something.”

Luigi scowled. “Hey! My education was just fine, it’s just been a while, okay?! I didn’t go to Mushroom University, I took an apprenticeship and went into the family business.”

King Boo raised an eyebrow. “Princess rescuing?”

Luigi looked gobsmacked. “Plumbing! I’m a plumber. Did you seriously not know that? You’ve fought me multiple times! Literally everyone knows this!”

“Well you fought ME multiple times, and thought Boos used to have flesh bodies! I guarantee you that E. Gadd knows better than that, but you never thought to ask!”

Luigi raised his hands in surrender. “Alright, alright, fair enough. So were you born as King Boo, or were you a regular Boo before?”

King Boo hummed. “Eh, I guess sort of. I mean, I was the size and power of your average Boo at some point. But I was born in a place where there was a LOT of energy swirling around, so I got bigger pretty fast. And once I figured out I could eat other ghosts to gain their energy too, I basically became the king pin in the ghost community.”

“That’s… nice…” Luigi tried not to have a flashback to the many moments of ghost swallowing he had born witness to in the last 24 hours.

“Of course, once there was no ghost that could realistically defeat me, I wanted more, cause who wouldn’t? So I conquered Mario, you showed up, rest is history.” King Boo suddenly leaned in close enough for Luigi to feel his hot breath on his face. “And you know what they say. If you can’t trap him in a painting, trap him in the binds of holy matrimony!”

“I don’t think that’s what they say.”

“How would you know? You didn’t even pay attention in science class.”

“What are you talking about?! My education was FINE! Did _you_ go to school?”

“No, but I can read. Not sure about you, though.” King Boo shot Luigi a smug look and raised his eyebrows in challenge.

“Of course I can read! Of all the things to say, you-“ Luigi had gotten to his feet without realizing it, and was raising a clenched fist. Within a few seconds, that fist was grabbed and King Boo had him pulled in close. He then leaned him back into a dip. Luigi’s rage quickly drained out of him as part of him started to twitch with unexpected interest in his predicament. That giant tongue was slowly poking out of that giant mouth and coming devastatingly close to Luigi’s throat.

“You’re beautiful when you’re angry,” King Boo’s voice came out as a hiss, and had Luigi been in any other position when he heard that line he would have laughed at the cheesiness. As it was, it came across as sincere in a way that made the man feel a sheen of sweat form along the back of his neck.

“O-oh really?”

“Yep. I can’t wait to marry you.”

Luigi nibbled at his bottom lip for a moment. “I didn’t exactly… agree to that?” King Boo scowled, his grip on Luigi tightening and Luigi did not find this hot. No way did he find this hot. Maybe just a tiny bit.

“You agreed! You would help me take over the hotel, and would rule with me for eternity!”

“And you agreed to free my family! Are you still going to do _that_?”

“Yes!” King Boo said this so plainly that Luigi was brought up short by the declaration. His weight sagged a bit in the ghost’s arms.

“Really?”

King Boo continued to scowl. “Well I kind of have to, you’ve made it very clear I’m not going to get anything out of you as long as you can hold the whole ‘you’ve got my family held hostage’ thing over my head.”

Luigi grappled with this new assurance for a minute. “Huh. Um. Thank you?”

“Yeah, yeah, I know, grovel at my mercy.” King Boo huffed and Luigi suddenly became very aware of the ghost’s eyes running over his body and especially his exposed skin. “You know the bed may be on the wall, but I can probably play with the gravity a bit.” Luigi’s eyes grew big as King Boo’s tongue finally closed the distance and ran ever so slowly along his jugular vein, likely feeling how quickly his pulse picked up at the suggestion. Luigi let out a small moan and his eyes darted to the door, freezing at what he saw.

“Um, the energy gate is fading!”

“What?” King Boo dropped Luigi without ceremony, and Luigi hit the floor with a thud. He sat up, rubbing his back as King Boo appeared to be focusing hard on the door, the energy field hazing in and out of focus. The ghost swore. “I lost track of it. It’s going to break. You are _way_ too distracting when you’re awake.”

“This is NOT my fault!”

“Whatever, just get ready, we’re going to have to jump them before they jump us,” King Boo hovered in front of the door as the energy field finally fizzled out. Luigi hurried to his feet and stood at the ready as King Boo flung open the door. They both waited in silence for a good fifteen seconds before Luigi broke it.

“Um, I guess they aren’t coming?”

“Guess not.” King Boo reached out and grabbed Luigi’s hand, pulling him close behind him without protest as he entered the dark room beyond the door. By the echo of Luigi’s footsteps he was pretty sure this room was quite a bit bigger than the last couple they had been in. King Boo’s grip tightened on Luigi’s hand as they moved away from the door, and Luigi flinched at the loud slam as it shut itself behind them. He couldn’t see much beyond the small circle of light that King Boo produced, but he did feel a little safer than he usually did in a haunted building. Holding the hand of a ghost that was proven to be very powerful and very much committed to protecting him from harm seemed to be doing good for his nerves. When Luigi thought they had reached the middle of the room, a spot light suddenly appeared to their left, illuminating a small wooden stage.

“Uh oh,” Luigi whispered, stepping closer to King Boo and bracing himself to run at the first sign of danger. King Boo let go of Luigi’s hand and moved his arm around the man’s waist, clearly prepared to grab him and bolt as necessary. There were flashes of light around the far sides of the room. A quick glance revealed the glow of energy fields blocking off the doors. “Why did you do that?!” Luigi snapped. “It’s not helping if they’re in here with us!”

“I didn’t do it.” King Boo grit his teeth as he spoke. “Get ready for a fight.” Luigi swallowed as high pitched giggles echoed around them yet again.

“Well, well, well, if it isn’t our favorite audience!” A chorus of voices seemed to come from everywhere at once, but then consolidated into the three ghost magicians, glowing under that spotlight.

“Now we know what you’re thinking,” Lindsey began.

“Running in circles from room to room isn’t very much fun!” Nikki continued.

“But we have a proposition!” Ginny went on.

“Play our game with us, and we’ll let you out!” The three ghosts said in unison, identical smiles both patronizing and sinister.

“W-what sort of game?” Luigi asked, hoping sincerely for some sort of nice little puzzle activity he could hammer out.

“Don’t even bother, it won’t be anything good,” King Boo muttered, his grip on Luigi not letting up for a moment. In fact, Luigi could already feel the ghost was moments away from lifting him off his feet.

“Oh, it’s such a simple game!” Ginny gestured behind her, where her companions wheeled a large wooden box into view, one not entirely unlike the one Luigi had awoken on.

“See, here we have a simple wooden box!” Nikki opened the box to demonstrate that the inside was entirely empty. “Now if we simply have a volunteer from the audience, we will lock him nice and snug into this very box!”

“And then we’ll run it through with a few of these!” Lindsey pulled several very sharp swords from behind her back.

“How is that a game?!” Luigi snapped.

“The game is that you have a whole twenty seconds before we start shoving swords into the box, in which to escape!” Ginny smiled. “If the ever so incredible King Boo can get you out of the box before those twenty seconds are up, you go free!”

Nikki tittered. “And if not, well, it won’t matter much to you!”

“Why would I agree to that when we can just fight you right here, right now, without putting Luigi in a box?” King Boo asked in deadpan.

“Because we’re at a stalemate, silly!” Lindsey rolled her eyes. “We can rearrange the rooms at will, and we aren’t limited to the doors. Plus there’s three of us, so you can’t escape unless we let you! But we’ll admit it, you’re too strong for us to just defeat. So a quick game is the only fair way to handle things!”

King Boo glared. “And what about if Luigi dies?! You think I won’t devour you all after something like that happens?!”

“Eh, we’ll probably just leave if that happens,” Ginny shrugged.

“Yeah, we’ll consider it a victory and bounce,” Lindsey agreed.

Luigi bit his lip, thinking hard before finally nodding. “Okay, I’ll do it.”

King Boo made a strangled sound. “What?! No you won’t!”

“Look, if I’m locked in the box, you won’t have to worry about me being in the way. Just beat them back, get to the box, and pull me out.”

“I-I can’t phase you through something again! I-“

“You have to! The sides don’t look that thick, it’ll be fine. Just be fast.” Luigi sucked in a deep breath and pulled away from King Boo, a little surprised that he let go without a struggle.

“Hooray! Yes, step right up this way!” Nikki gushed as Luigi approached the stage and climbed on. He was quickly led over to the box, indicated to curl up inside, and as the box was closed the last thing he saw before the dark was King Boo biting his lip anxiously from just beyond the barrier of the stage. Once the box was closed, Luigi couldn’t see or hear anything else at all.

*

King Boo had learned that the key to Luigi’s love was compromise. So when Luigi suggested something ridiculous, he was going to allow him to do the stupid thing. Especially if the stupid thing involved simply locking Luigi out of sight so that King Boo could unleash the full force of his rage on these stupid underling ghosts without risking Luigi getting into the line of fire. The second Luigi was out of sight, he launched himself at the three ghosts. He did not care that they scattered, homing in on the nearest one as his body got wider, his mouth gaped open wide enough to swallow a grown man whole. He had twenty seconds, they said, but that wouldn’t matter if he kept them and their stupid swords away from the box! However, it was clear rather quickly that the three ghosts weren’t trying to attack him at all, and were merely laughing and darting around to distract him. With a growl of frustration as his piranha teeth missed their mark for the third time, King Boo gave up and dove for the box.

“NOT SO FAST!” Ginny laughed, getting in his face and leading him off course as he tried to snap at her again. “I think it’s time to turn up the heat, girls!”

“I hear you!” Nikki laughed back, and King Boo turned in time to see the ghost drive an enormous sword directly through the center of the box.

“NO!” King Boo shrieked, making a beeline for the box. Lindsey was quick to shove a second sword in before both girls dashed out of King Boo’s path. King Boo was starting to have misgivings about his victory right away, as none of the three girls tried to stop him as he got close this time. He sensed something was very wrong before he even touched the box, which only grew when the box opened by itself at his touch. The entire side of the box fell down, and the rest of the box collapsed soon after, the swords clattering to the ground. The King gasped, eyes wide as saucers for a few moments before his whole body flashed red. An icy wind began to race through the room like a hurricane, and the sound of thousands of screams began to permeate the entire floor. The three giggling ghost magicians made for the doors, ready to drop their shields, but found them firmly in place with no hope of dissipating. Their giggles turned to screams as King Boo’s burning eyes fixed on them. There was nothing for him to hold back for now, after all. The box had been entirely empty.

Luigi was gone.


	15. Just Call Me Keira Knightley Because Ive Been Kidnapped By Pirate Ghosts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to the pirate parade, this chapter got so long. Here ya go gang. THE SEX IS SOON I PROMISE.

**15 Just Call Me Keira Knightley cause I’ve Been Kidnapped by Pirate Ghosts**

The box was tight, and dark, and uncomfortable. The wood was hard on Luigi's knees, and his joints stiffened up in seconds. He really hoped that King Boo wouldn't take long to save him, but alas as the minutes dragged on Luigi felt resigned to settling in as best as he could. He was surprised at how quiet the inside of the box was. It hadn't looked that thick from the outside, but he couldn't hear anything from the world outside. The silence pressed on his ears and he took to humming a little under his breath to avoid auditory hallucinations. That wouldn't help his nerves any if he let sensory deprivation get the better of him. When at last a creak cut through the quiet, Luigi could have cried out of joy to see light as the box began to open. That joy turned to confusion and fear soon enough, however, as Luigi was hit by a very strong smell of salt water and shivered under the onslaught of a cold breeze. As he had gone into the box in a room nowhere near the sea as far as he knew, this was understandably startling. It was possible that the box had been moved, but if it had gone through the walls of the hotel, he would have assumed he would've been in for another round of chills, dizziness, and nausea. He hadn’t felt anything at all. Just darkness, and silence and now, salt. If it wasn’t for the blinding blue light that he had to squint to adjust to, he might have thought he was hallucinating from sensory deprivation after all.

“Get up ye lily-livered sea dog!” The most terrible pirate accent Luigi had ever heard shouted from somewhere above him, and Luigi scrambled to obey it, getting to his feet and spinning around to see a most terrifying sight. Behind him was, and there was no other way to say it, a giant ghost shark dressed like a pirate captain.

“Oh my god,” Luigi whimpered.

“There be no gods here laddie, only the open sea and me! Now get over there and start swabbing the deck or it’ll be the brig for ye!” The ghost pointed at a bucket next to a pile of rags and a scrub brush. Luigi had no idea what was going on or how he got here, but he wasn’t in a great position to fight a ghost shark, so he hurried over to the rags and started frantically scrubbing the deck as though he life depended on it. Maybe it did? He hoped King Boo was okay, because if he wasn’t, Luigi wasn’t sure how he was going to be getting out of this one.

*

As it turned out, King Boo was just fine, physically speaking. He had just had a big meal, and normally would be taking this chance to gloat to the walls about it, but given the circumstances he had bigger fish yet to fry, so to speak. Luigi was gone, but there was no way he was dead. If he was, why wouldn’t they shove the body in his face? No, they magicked him off somewhere. Maybe to Helen Gravely herself! He could only hope she was smart enough to put her anger aside for a second and use Luigi as a hostage instead of just killing him outright. King Boo had to admit though, now that he was alone, he wasn’t exactly confident on his odds at the moment. His forces were almost non-existent at this point. None of his Boos came when he tried to call them, so he didn’t know for sure if how many loyal ghosts were left in his arsenal. Helen Gravely had a host of ghosts to use against him, plus her bootleg Poltergust, and she even had Luigi locked up somewhere now. So what should he do? There were a few things he knew to his advantage. The Master Suite was still in full lock down and would be until he got back to it, and he was still the most powerful individual ghost in the building. He might need more than that. He didn’t know where Luigi was, but he did know where Luigi’s _Poltergust_ was, presumably. Helen Gravely didn’t know that Luigi gave it to E. Gadd, and she wouldn’t think to ask for it if she had Gooigi’s working for her. So, it should still be in the basement. Helen wouldn’t think King Boo would go down there for it. A ghost would have a hard time using the Poltergust without getting sucked in themselves, but King Boo would be willing to risk it if he had to.

Decision made, King Boo stretched out his arms and jaw, and fell into a dive. He ignored the floors, furniture, and ghosts he passed by as he plummeted downward, straight for the basement and the weapon he would use to bring his fair Luigi back into his arms once again!

*

Luigi had been scrubbing the deck for about half an hour and it seemed that he was being entirely ignored. There were a few miscellaneous ghosts milling about, but they seemed to be mostly stationed along the edges of the boat, looking off to the far walls of the room as though it were an actual horizon. As it turns out, breeze and saltwater aside, they were definitely inside of a room. The walls and ceiling were painted blue to look like the sky and horizon, and there was water covering the floor, although Luigi could not ascertain how deep that water was. But Luigi had to assume they were still inside of the hotel. That was actually a pretty big relief, he didn’t know if King Boo would be able to find him if he had somehow been transported out of the building.

Captain Fishhook mainly seemed to stand on the bow of his ship, looking out at the water and constantly checking a compass as though he were trying to keep the entirely stationary boat on course. Occasionally he would shout things like “HOIST THE MAINSAILS!” and “THERE SHE BLOWS!” But other than a chorus of “aye captain” from the other ghosts, no one did anything else. It was a strange predicament, and despite the strenuous manual labor, Luigi had the time to think about it. He had to assume he was being kept prisoner here, possibly as a hostage to use against King Boo, possibly just until Helen Gravely could get here to rip him apart with her bare hands. But either way, Luigi knew it would be in his best interest to at least try to escape on his own. He didn’t have his Poltergust, but he could still jump, and he could swim. He might be able to leap over the ghosts along the edge of the boat and land in the water, but there was no guarantee of reaching the sandy “shoreline” on the far side of the room before the ghosts grabbed him again. Outrunning them probably wouldn’t end well, and he most likely would get only one shot at this. They weren’t supervising him very hard now, but after an escape attempt surely they wouldn’t take their eyes off of him.

Luigi decided to try and get a better scope of the deck. He slowly made his way across the deck to the stern, clutching his rag so he could drop to the ground to pretend to clean if anyone turned to look at him. He tensed up a few times when Captain Fishhook made his random pirate-y declarations, but did eventually make it to the back of the ship and up the stairs to the platform where the helm was located. He looked at the helm thoughtfully. The ship was full of ghosts, but maybe if he was able to turn the ship enough, it could confuse them? It might not do much, but Luigi didn't want to just be the damsel in distress. If he could free himself, he would! Luigi laid his hands on the helm for a moment, before putting all his strength into turning it.

The wheel didn’t budge. In fact, it may have just been for show. He wasn’t sure it was even really attached to anything steering related. With a groan, Luigi was back to plan A. He spun on his heel to face the back of the ship where there were fewer ghosts stationed, took off at a run, and leapt over the railing into the waters below.

*

King Boo blasted his way easily through the few ghosts that were posted around E. Gadd's laboratory, but was held up by the professor’s ghost shield. He hammered on the outside of the metal dome, but he was completely unable to phase through it, much to his frustration.

“Damn it, let me in! Give me that damn Poltergust!” King Boo demanded into the lens of the camera that had been pointed at him since he had arrived.

A voice crackled over a small speaker next to the only door on the dome. “ _Is this the part where I say not by the hair on my chinny chin chin?”_

King Boo squinted at the speaker. “You’re E. Gadd, right?”

“ _Obviously. And you, I am afraid, are King Boo.”_

“Well, duh.” King Boo folded his arms. “Did you fix Luigi’s Poltergust or not?!”

“ _Of course I fixed it! But I’m not about to hand it over to the likes of you! This Poltergust is for Luigi alone. The last time I let a ghost have one of my Poltergusts, she ran off with it and won’t send me ANY data or ANY of the ghosts she captured with it! How am I supposed to do research without test subjects I ask you?”_

“I don’t care about you or your stupid data! I just have to get the damn thing so I can get Luigi back!”

There was a pause. “ _You lost Luigi?”_

“He was stolen but… I guess so…” King Boo dragged out, feeling pretty embarrassed about the whole thing. “Look, the _point_ is that he’s gone, and I need to find him. I'm probably going to have to fight some ghosts, and it’ll be nice to have some extra firepower! Plus, when I find Luigi, there’s no way we won’t be able to get the hotel back under control! I mean, if Luigi can beat a whole legion of ghosts by himself, then the two of us together could dominate the world, easy peasy!”

_“You know, I seriously doubt that Luigi has any interest in world domination.”_

“So what? He’s going to marry me, and when he does, he has to support me in my endeavors!”

“ _Phht, you don’t know anything about marriage, do you?”_

King Boo frowned. “What do you mean?”

_“Being married doesn’t mean an automatic alliance. Luigi doesn’t have to do anything for you if you’re married. He doesn’t even have to live with you, plenty of married couples live apart.”_

“What?” King Boo blinked. “What do you mean? I- but we’re going to be married! And have sex! And rule the world together!”

_“None of those things are related, you know that, right?”_ There was a brief chortle of laughter that cut in and out. “ _Correlation is not causation!”_

King Boo rolled his eyes and rubbed his forehead. “Look, I really don’t have time for this. Just give me the fucking Poltergust so I can get my fiancé back. As if you know what you’re talking about, anyway!”

“ _I don’t have any objection to getting Luigi out of whatever trouble he’s in, but do you even know where to start looking?”_

“I don’t need to know! I just need to find Helen, and torture her until she tells me where she stashed him!”

“ _What if whoever he’s with has orders to kill him if Helen is attacked?”_

This caught King Boo up short. “Oh, uh… you think that could happen?”

“ _You’re a villain, aren’t you? Isn’t that usual villain behavior? Haven’t you threatened to destroy Mario forever if Luigi did anything too rash against you?”_

“No! I’m powerful enough I don’t need to resort to shit like that!”

_“Huh. You know that might be why Luigi was able to defeat you in the past. If you were more ruthless about the whole hostage situation, you probably could have brought Luigi to his knees much faster.”_

King Boo didn’t notice it, but his whole body lit up a little pink at this revelation. “W-what are you talking about?! I’m totally ruthless! I EAT other ghosts when they piss me off!”

“ _I suppose that’s true, but you never went out of your way to hurt Luigi that much, did you?”_ The professor hummed a little. “ _Interesting. Perhaps your crush has been going on longer than you thought.”_ King Boo’s eyes widened. He had never thought about it that hard. It may be possible, but that was all the more reason Luigi had to be rescued and put somewhere safe! _“Oh well, I suppose I have no intention of using this thing myself, and I have to assume after all this you will genuinely try to get it back to Luigi, at least. And if Luigi has it, he will surely use it to bring me back all my precious specimens again!”_

King Boo glared. “Hey, not all of them! You’re not getting ME back in one of those jars!”

“ _Well I’m sure, as his future husband, Luigi will be happy to volunteer you for my experiments!”_

King Boo jolted straight. “Hey! Just because we’re gonna be married doesn’t mean Luigi gets to decide for me what I do!”

“ _Oh really?”_ There was a pregnant pause.

“Oh fuck you.”

“ _So I’ll just push that Poltergust under the cat flap shall I? Oh, and I think I can help you with finding Luigi as well. I’ve been working on tracking energy signatures…”_

*

Luigi’s escape attempt did not last long. As predicted, the ghosts were soon upon him, and Luigi had been shoved, wet and shivering, into the brig. The ghosts that had been left to guard him would occasionally sneer at him from across the room, but mainly seemed interested in playing cards with each other. Not that it really mattered, Luigi knew his odds of escape at this point were low enough to be non-existent. The wooden wall of his cell didn’t do much to warm his back, but Luigi leaned on it anyway, letting out a sneeze into the crook of his elbow and drawing his knees to his chest. He was feeling pretty desolate at the moment. He finally felt like he was reaching some common ground with King Boo, and then he immediately ends up in peril with King Boo being his only real hope of rescue. How could it be that King Boo was the only one in this hotel on his side now? It was while dwelling on that depressing though that Luigi heard a loud bark.

There was immediately sounds of commotion. Luigi lifted his head sharply to see the three ghosts that had been guarding him screaming and running in circles, as Polterpup growled and chased them. Luigi frantically glanced toward the door that led up to the deck, but no one seemed to be coming to aide his captors, even as Polterpup somehow got hold of a length of rope and ran circles around the other three ghosts to tie them up. That was weird in and of itself, it didn’t look like ghost rope, but nevertheless Polterpup seemed to have come out on top with the three ghosts flailing in their binds. Polterpup trotted happily toward Luigi, slipping through the bars of his cell with ease and quickly putting his little white paws up on Luigi’s chest to ask for pets. Luigi happily obliged him.

“Good doggie! Such a good doggie!” Luigi cooed, giving the dog a good full body scratch. “I’m still stuck in here though, could you find a key too, maybe?” Polterpup cocked his head to one side, then let out a happy bark and pushed away from Luigi, hopping across the room again to sniff at the protesting and struggling ghost pirates. The dog let out a whine and trotted back empty handed. Luigi sighed. “It’s okay. The captain might have it,” Luigi suggested. Polterpup cocked its head to one side again. “He’s hard to miss, he looks like a giant shark.” Polterpup let out a bark of understanding and then ran straight up and through the ceiling like a ball from a cannon. Luigi sneezed again and rubbed his chilly arms. Within a couple of minutes, Polterpup returned through the ceiling in triumph, dropping a ring of keys on the floor at Luigi’s feet. “Good dog,” Luigi said as warmly as he could, grabbing the keys and hurrying to the cell door to free himself. Once the door was open, he glanced at the shouting ghosts in the corner and looked down at Polterpup. “Um, no one saw you, right? Any idea why no one’s come to check on the screaming?” Polterpup panted and ran around in a circle. Not the most intuitive response.

“Alright, well, I can’t just go back up on deck. Do you think you can find a secret way to escape?” The dog whined. Luigi took that as a no. Disappointing but he should have expected as much. “Okay, well can you find me a place to hide in case Helen comes by?” That earned a happy bark, and Luigi eagerly ran after the dog as it led him to a door on the far end of the room. Inside, he found what seemed to be a simple storage room. “Um, this is nice, but those ghosts saw us come in here, so I don’t know if it’s the best hiding spot.” Luigi was about to draw out of the room, but stopped when he saw Polterpup digging at a crate in the corner. Deciding to pay attention to the dog, Luigi got behind the crate and started pushing with all his might. It was slow going at first, but soon enough the crate budged, and slid, and with a clunk managed to be pushed far enough to reveal what was under it, which proved to be more of the floor. Luigi looked at Polterpup in question, but the dog pawed at the ground and Luigi looked closer. He had to brush some dust away, but finally saw the edges of what seemed to be a trap door, and a small dent in the floor only just big enough to dig his fingernails into. It was a little painful, but Luigi managed to pry up the door enough that way to get a hand under it, and soon it was open.

“Alright!” Luigi cheered, quickly sobering as he peered into the dark space below. Luigi had no flashlight, but Polterpup jumped into the crawlspace ahead of him. His glowing body comforted Luigi enough to follow, pulling the trap door shut behind him. Polterpup helpfully paraded around the room, illuminating each part of it in turn to satisfy to Luigi that they were the only creatures inside the tiny space. The only objects in the room were three covered paintings along one wall, which peaked Luigi's curiosity. He pulled the old sheets off of them and gasped. Three Toads, red, yellow, and blue, each looked back at him from their own frame, eyes widened with terror. The Toads! Why were the Toads in _here_ of all places?! Luigi instinctively reached for his strobe light, but of course it was still attached to his Poltergust downstairs. He had found some of the people he was meant to rescue, and yet he was helpless to save them. Luigi hung his head in shame.

*

Thanks to E. Gadd's energy tracing software, King Boo knew where Luigi was. He was on the floor above the one he had vanished in, one of the floors that had been so warped by spectral energy that it hardly looked like it ever belonged in a hotel at all. King Boo had hurried back up to save his beloved, Poltergust in tow, only to peer up out of the inky sea for a brief second before ducking out of sight again. That was a surprisingly vast amount of ghosts to fight his way through, and they were no doubt given word to slaughter Luigi at the very first sign of King Boo! This was a problem. He could certainly take on so many ghosts at once if his only goal was only to devour them all, but he couldn’t be everywhere at once. Even with the Poltergust as an extra weapon, the chances of him being able to rescue Luigi before another ghost got to him first were low. E. Gadd said Luigi seemed to be alive by his energy signature, so he was likely being kept as a hostage like King Boo had thought. So, King Boo would need a plan to keep him that way. He sank down into the empty floor below again to think.

He had to rescue Luigi. At this point, however, all of his allied ghosts had been captured by Gooigi, and Helen hadn’t released any of them to E. Gadd. E. Gadd had been willing to help him save Luigi, but he was a weak old man and had pretty well helped as much as he could, what with fixing the Poltergust and finding Luigi. King Boo needed more hands on deck. He thought briefly of the three Toad paintings. Surely they would be easily intimidated into helping him, but he had no idea what had happened to them. He had basically tossed them to his minions, he didn’t consider them nearly as important as Mario and Peach were to his revenge. Mario and Peach… now _that_ was a thought. He almost dismissed it outright. After all, why would those two ever bother to help him? Sure, they were both resourceful, and loved Luigi. They definitely would be invested in Luigi’s safe return, but they probably wouldn't believe that King Boo wanted to rescue Luigi this time. What’s to say they wouldn’t turn on him as soon as they were freed? He knew he had promised Luigi that he would free them, but he had planned to just dump them from their frames outside the front doors of The Last Resort, and then lock the building down before they could do anything about it. And then, maybe he would press Luigi up against the window and have his way with him while he watched his family hammering uselessly on the doors? King Boo hadn’t worked out all the details. Freeing them now would throw a wrench in the works for sure. He had no idea what the result would be. But if he didn’t, Luigi might die. And even if Luigi’s soul managed to cling to this plane of reality enough to form a full ghost, that’s not what King Boo wanted. The very thought of it filled King Boo with a dread he didn’t understand, but could only try to avoid. Luigi could not die. It was unthinkable. So, King Boo would do what he had to. Even if it meant avoiding the unthinkable. So, heading to the elevator shaft to avoid the many eyes of the fleet of ghosts aboard the pirate ship, King Boo headed for the Master Suite where he kept all of his most valuable prisoners.

*

Luigi had been in that dark room with Polterpup for what felt like an hour. He had mostly dried off, but still shivered in the dim light of the ghost dog's aura. There was no way to know how long he would have to wait, but he didn’t dare send Polterpup back out to check on the situation for fear of attracting attention. Suddenly, sounds of commotion could be heard from above. Luigi held out his arms to Polterpup, and the ghost dog jumped happily into them. Luigi held the dog for comfort as bangs, unintelligible shouts, and the clang of swords rang out above them.

“I'm sure that's fine,” Luigi reasoned to his dog. “If it was just Captain Fishhook coming back, they wouldn’t be fighting. Helen Gravely might be mad if they lost me, but I don’t think there’d be a fight. Probably.” There were some ghastly wails and more thuds, directly overhead. “It might be King Boo.” Luigi sneezed again as some dust was knocked loose from the ceiling and landed on his nose. “I really hope it’s King Boo.” There was a very faint sound that reminded him strongly of his brother’s signature ‘wa-hoo’ but of course that would be wishful thinking. Polterpup squirmed in Luigi’s arms and Luigi reluctantly released him. He sighed as the dog scratched at its ear. “You don’t think you could go take a peek, could you? Just to see if it’s him?”

Polterpup barked and looked about to jump into the air to do just that, when a small ball of light fell from the ceiling, forming on the ground in the shape of a cat. “Polterkitty!” Luigi gasped as the cat ghost turned its lamp like eyes onto him and an unsettling grin settled on its face. Then, Polterpup let out a happy bark, and Polterkitty noticed the dog and let out a screech. Soon the two ghosts were chasing each other all around the small space, the cat tearing scratch marks into the walls in its desperation to outrace the dog. Luigi jumped in front of the three Toad paintings to protect them, stacking them together and turning them to face the wall in hopes to defend them if the animal ghosts and their pointy claws headed that way. Finally, both ghosts vanished into the ceiling, and Luigi was left in total darkness. The noises quieted upstairs a bit, and a sharp voice snapped something. Then, abruptly, three loud knocks came from the ceiling around the area of the trap door, echoing dully in the hollow space beneath. Luigi looked up hopefully, but that hope was dashed as a towering pile of hair poured through the solid wood, ending with the glaring face of none other than Helen Gravely herself.

“There you are, you swine! How dare you think you could hide from me?!” Helen did not sound happy. Luigi whimpered and pressed himself back against the wall as the ghost lady dropped through the ceiling fully, doing a flip and landing neatly on the floor, gaze sharply on Luigi with eyes full of hate.

“I-I-I don’t want to die!”

“You ought to have thought of that before you failed me and then ran off into the arms of the ghost that scorned my love and stole my hotel!” Helen Gravely loomed over Luigi. Her aura was icy and black, all consuming. “Well, I’ve had just about enough of your antics! We have a policy against ungrateful guests like you, and it’s time you checked out _permanently_.” Helen raised her hands above her head, the handle of a long rapier glistening into existence between them. Luigi was backed into a corner, nowhere to go. He didn’t even notice the thunk of the trap door being thrown open over the thudding of his own frantic heart. He _did_ notice the flash of light that lit up the space and froze Helen Gravely in her tracks.

“NOT MY BROTHER, YOU WITCH!”

“Mario!” Luigi cried out, his eyes filling with relieved tears as the familiar and wonderful whirling noise of the Poltergust roared to life. Luigi felt a tug of jealousy to see his brother wielding his own weapon with ease, but knew that wasn't a thought to be dwelt on. Helen let out a scream as she began to be sucked into the confines of the machine wielded by Mario, who sent Luigi a wink and a thumbs up. In that moment of distraction, however, Helen ripped herself out of Poltergust’s grip.

“Uh oh,” Mario said, wide eyed as he scrambled for the strobe light again, only to have Helen dive toward him. He tried to jump, but barely got off the ground with the Poltergust on, and was knocked to the ground. It seemed he wasn’t used to the Poltergust after all, Luigi thought with some undue satisfaction.

“Get off of him!” Luigi yelped instead, hurrying into the fray and grabbing his brother. He pulled him away from Helen, only to have the ghost lash out and grab Luigi's arm, twisting it sharply and pushing him to the ground, half on top of his brother. She appeared ready to descend on them both in a finishing blow when yet another flash of light lit up the room, freezing Helen yet again.

“That’s quite enough of that!” The high, proper voice of Princess Peach echoed from the mouth of the trap door. Mario grinned up at his girlfriend, giving her a thumbs up.

“Thanks, Peachy!” he said as he scrambled to his feet and held out a hand to help his brother up as well. Peach kept flashing her small strobe light, which didn't have a Poltergust attached, keeping Helen in place as Mario went about taking the Poltergust off and handed it over to Luigi with a smile.

“W-what? But, you already-?” Luigi tried to protest, but Mario shook his head and silently helped Luigi into his ghost fighting weapon of choice. Well, if Mario wanted him to do the honors, he certainly would! Luigi took the Poltergust nozzle firmly in hand, pointed it directly between Helen's horror-filled eyes, and did what he did best. She didn't stand a chance. Luigi sank to his knees, breathing hard as Peach and Mario enfolded him into a group hug. The next few minutes were full of warm reunion, Luigi remembering the Toads long enough to free them as well and bringing them into their celebration. Luigi’s family was back! Helen Gravely was defeated, and they were safe. They all emerged triumphant from the brig onto the deck of the ship, now empty of ghosts.

“I see you managed to get through the ghost army alright,” Luigi said, feeling another tinge of jealousy upon seeing that Mario had managed to save the day yet again. Wasn’t this supposed to be Luigi’s time to shine? Well, the important thing was that everything was okay now, he supposed.

“Oh yeah, well, Peach helped a lot,” Mario admitted sheepishly, “It’s a lot harder to fight when you can’t jump! I have no idea how you managed it with all these weird complicated controls. Anyway, I think it’s time to go home, right?”

“Home?”

“Yes! We can head back to the castle, have a vacation from the vacation!” Peach giggled. “You’d like that, right Mario? I’ll bake a cake!” Mario blushed hard, in a way that made Luigi wonder if maybe baking a cake meant something else. But assuming it was an actual edible cake, Luigi wouldn’t be opposed to that. His stomach actually growled at the thought. “Oh, Luigi definitely wants a cake!” Peach grinned.

Mario looked horrified. “Luigi? He- oh you mean… oh,” Mario cleared his throat. “Anyway, we’re all done here, right Luigi?”

Luigi frowned a little. “Well, not quite, I need to deal with King Boo first."

“Oh, don’t worry, I took care of him!” Mario said happily, waving Luigi off. Luigi suddenly froze deathly still and turned his head slowly, looking at Mario with wide eyes. It was enough of a change that Mario’s expression turned to one of worry. “Luigi? Are you okay?”

“What do you mean you took care of him?” Luigi asked, voice unnaturally high.

“Well, when Peachy and I were released from the paintings we were trapped in, we immediately saw that King Boo was holding your Poltergust,” Mario explained. “We assumed the worst, that you were captured and we were about to be done away with.”

“So,” Peach jumped in, “King Boo was about to start saying something wicked, when Mario jumped on him to stun him, grabbed the Poltergust, and they got into a terrible fight!”

“I think he was surprised I was able to pick up the controls as quick as I did!” Mario boasted, “And he kept trying to trick me, something about how we were on same side?”

“Obviously a horrible trick,” Peach said with an indignant noise. “The nerve of him! I told him off for that one!”

“I was surprised he didn’t try to capture me or anything though,” Mario admitted, “He didn’t even really attack, come to think of it. Well, he was probably just afraid to make me angry! He never faced me head on before, after all.”

“Definitely intimidated,” Peach nodded enthusiastically. “So then, finally, I got King Boo’s attention by throwing a big bowl full of water at him. It had little water lilies floating in it, pretty of course, but when I broke it he got very angry and distracted, tried to pick them up. So I hit him over the head with a violin that was lying around. I didn't even know King Boo played the violin, weird he likes the same instrument you play, right bro?”

Luigi put a hand over his pounding heart. _He remembered I said I like water lilies? And the violin? Well of course, he always remembered what I said I like._

“I took my chance, and finished the job! King Boo was defeated!” Mario said, grinning widely. Luigi, however, could not even pretend to return it. Eventually, Mario’s grin dropped. “Oh, uh, I guess I sort of stole your thunder doing that… sorry bro.”

“N-no it’s not that,” Luigi glanced back at the Poltergust. “So, he’s in there? W-with Helen Gravely?!”

“Oh no, that’s the rest of the story!” Peach said brightly, “We had to find you and the Toads next, obviously, so we got into the elevator. Then E. Gadd called us over the elevator’s speaker system, and told us to come down to the basement. So we did, he gave me this extra strobe light, and we emptied the Poltergust into his system before he sent us back up here to save you.”

“It was a hard fight, but we made it!” Mario said, trying to force his own good cheer onto his brother’s frowning face. “I even got to beat up a ghost shark! It was very cool. Then that lady ghost threatened to destroy you, but she couldn’t find you right away when she went below deck, so we had time to catch up. So, good job hiding!” He clapped Luigi on the back, but Luigi only felt marginally better. He was safe, his family was safe, they could all go home now. But it still didn’t sit right with him. At the end of the day, this hotel was haunted to start with. The ghosts that existed here deserved to stay in their home, though he wasn’t sure what to do about Helen Gravely. And King Boo had freed Mario and Peach, most likely to use them as tools to save him, but he kept his promise none the less. He couldn’t leave that debt un-repaid. He was the good guy. He knew what had to be done. His brother would have to understand.

Luigi took a deep breath and looked his brother in the eyes. “Mario, I’ve got a lot to tell you.”


	16. From Basement to Rooftop

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to the longest chapter in this fanfic. I took like three days to write it, and I was barely even procrastinating. 
> 
> But it had to be long. I had to fit a whole final battle in here to set up to the next chapter!
> 
> That's right y'all, the promised Boo sex is almost here, but we got one more plot chapter to get through first. So please sit back and enjoy... this.

**16 From Basement to Rooftop**

Mario and Peach listened intently as Luigi spoke at length about the events that occurred after they had been imprisoned. They nodded along with appropriate enraged looks as Luigi described King Boo disguising himself as a human ghost and trying to capture Luigi in the hallway, and cheered happily at the regaling of Luigi’s valiant escape down the laundry chute. As the tale wore on, all three of them gradually settled into sitting cross legged on the deck of the empty pirate ship in a small circle. The Toads had wandered off to the helm and were pretending to steer the ship, short attentions spans that they had. When Luigi explained how he freed E. Gadd he was was met with a hearty slap on the back, and his reluctant retelling of E. Gadd’s subsequent kidnapping by Chambrea was met with a small ‘oh no!’ from Peach. From there, Luigi pressed back to the main reason for his story, which was to attempt to explain what about the Helenus disguise made him think he could trust the ghost. He was surprised to be met with a sadly sympathetic look from Peach as he struggled with his words, even if Mario seemed to be missing something and only doubled down on commentary about how evil and dastardly King Boo was to mislead Luigi so badly. Luigi became careful then, going over each of King Boo’s little gestures of affection and protection in turn. Defending him from the chef ghost and trying to feed him some decent food. Saving him from the escalator. Putting on that ill devised but still fairly well meaning “concert”. At this point Mario reached out and took Luigi’s hand, looking at him very seriously.

“Listen, so you know… I don’t think any less of you for falling for King Boo’s tricks. He obviously tried very hard to make you like him, and I’m sure you’re going to tell us why, but there’s no need to look so sad, you know? Even the best of us have fallen for a disguise and kind words.” As Mario finished, Peach cleared her throat demurely and wagged her finger minutely at her boyfriend. Mario let go of Luigi and looked at Peach with confusion, but she merely held a finger to her lips and then gestured for Luigi to go on.

Luigi cleared his throat awkwardly. “And then he sent me up to the next floor, saying he would appeal to my 'old fashioned sensibilities'. Apparently this meant dressing me up as a prince in front of a cheering crowd of ghosts and uh, announcing that I was going to marry him. So… yeah.” Peach nodded as though she understood completely. She probably _did_ understand completely. She recently had a near-forced marriage attempt herself after all. Mario did not take the news as well. His jaw dropped and he stared off into space in perfect silence.

“Um, Mario?” No response.

“Maybe you should continue your story?” Peach suggested, “I’m sure he’ll adjust eventually. He’s more flexible than you’d think!” Now Luigi was silent, staring at Peach, whose lips quickly pressed into a thin line and suddenly wouldn’t meet Luigi’s eye.

“A-anyway…” Luigi broke the silence first and launched into the following ‘date’ in the garden. He glossed over the more intimate details, focusing mainly on the fact that King Boo was revealed by Helen, and of course Luigi had run out of the room assuming it was all a horrible trick.

“And… and it _was_ a trick? Right?” Mario said, finally turning his glassy eyes back to his brother, hesitantly.

“Well, I don’t… I don’t think it was,” Luigi finally edged out and tried to push past Mario’s drawn out whine, raising his voice a little as he hurried on with the story. Helen revealed E. Gadd was safe and sound, and told Luigi to go seduce King Boo. Which, of course, he was completely unable to do, but it DID lead to him openly confronting King Boo again. King had been honestly so worried about him being put in danger on that movie set. “He couldn’t fake that. I tried to tell myself it was still an act, but it wasn’t. He saved me, and even when I was supposed to be helping him fight Helen’s army and I failed to help either side. Helen was ready to kill me for that, but King Boo just wanted me to be safe. And then I fully passed out from being phased through the floor, and he protected me even when it meant he couldn’t easily escape on his own. He cares about me.” Luigi sighed, spreading his hands in defeat. “He does. I can’t deny it. And he freed you both to save me, too. He even promised to do that anyway! Well, if I agreed to marry him, but… I don’t know.” Luigi looked down at his hands and awaited judgement.

Peach’s eyes widened. “Oh no, and we wouldn’t even let him explain himself!”

“Well, I can’t blame you for that!” Luigi said quickly, “I mean, King Boo has always been strong and tricky. By all rights, attacking right away makes more sense than just letting him talk. I get it. A-and it’s not like he’s gone! We know where he is! With Helen captured, I’m sure we can figure out everything else.”

Peach relaxed then, and smiled, placing a tender hand on Luigi’s knee. “I understand. It can be hard when a villain falls in love with you, and kidnaps you, and torments your loved ones to try and spend time with you. Especially when sometimes they _do_ actually seem to be trying really hard to be sweet and give you everything they think you deserve.”

Luigi blinked. “I… I suppose you do have unique experience with that.”

Mario let out a little broken whine. “Seriously? Why don’t any villains ever fall in love with _me_? I’m always trying to dodge certain death, and you guys get to eat good food and wait to be rescued?!” Luigi and Peach both snapped their attention to Mario, their expressions a mix of indigence, shock, and disgust.

“You know, it’s not exactly a _fun time!_ ” Peach snapped. “I don’t enjoy being locked up in a tower! It's not enjoyable to have Bowser trotting me around to one infantile amusement after another in hopes to make me happy, all the while talking big about how he’s going to give me your head on a stick and rule my kingdom with an iron fist! I mean, yes, sometimes he does something like brings me rare flowers, or he'll play me music he wrote himself. It’s never very good, but it’s nice to know someone would put in the effort.”

“Yeah!” Luigi jumped in, “I mean, sure, King Boo listens to what I say. He paid a lot of attention to what I said I liked, and tried his best to protect me and be gentle with me. Um, to a point. But every time things seemed to be going well, he would jump in with the whole ‘your family being captured was fair revenge’ and ‘you’re going to rule the world with me’ and ‘you’ll never see your loved ones again’ and it was a real mood killer!”

“He listens to what you say you like? Wow,” Peach blinked, “I mean, still not good but… and he said you’d rule _together_? More than I get most kidnappings.”

Luigi flushed. “Um, I don’t think this is comparable…” He coughed. “I haven’t just been waiting to be rescued either! I’ve been navigating a ghost war, and trying to negotiate your freedom! Which I got, in the end, sort of.”

“Okay, okay, fair enough, sorry.” Mario huffed out a breath and jumped to his feet. “Alright, what do you want to do, then? I assume you feel bad for King Boo. Did you want to take him to brunch like Peach and I did with Bowser?”

Luigi blinked. “You two took Bowser to _brunch?_ ”

“Well I mean,” Mario shrugged, “He looked really beat up on the moon after I kicked his ass and took over his body for a bit. I figured, hey, a little brunch, a little Mariokart, perked him right up!”

Luigi pressed his face into his hands. “Coming from you, I believe that. But _Peach_ went along with it?”

“Well, I do like brunch!” Peach piped up. “Maybe King Boo would too? If he eats? Does he eat?”

Luigi let out a laugh that trailed into a horrified whine as memories of ghastly screams and smacking lips danced behind his eyes. “Yeah. Oooooh yeah. Yeah he eats. Not brunch though. Nope.”

“Well,” Mario held out a hand to help Peach up, then extended it to Luigi too. “What about Mariokart? You could always invite him to that. Little friendly competition, talk things through, let him down easy?”

“I don’t think he wants to let him down, Mario,” Peach said in a whisper that was a bit too loud to be discreet. Luigi twitched slightly as he was helped up. Mario groaned a bit when he saw his brother’s face.

“Alright, uh, if you want to try to not… let him down…” Mario didn’t quite seem to know where to go with that.

Luckily Peach was there to step in. “Mario will, of course, be there to help you if King Boo tries to make you do anything you don’t want to.”

“Right,” Mario said, giving Peach a relieved smile. That was something he could do.

Peach took Luigi’s hand and the smile she gave him was reassuring in a way only Peach’s smile could be. “Maybe if we lived in a world where everyone was morally grey, and everyone was as easy capable of good as they were of evil, maybe then I wouldn’t be able to be as supportive of this. But that’s not our world. We have good guys, and bad guys. We can’t expect the villains to just clean up their ways any more than they can really expect us to be tempted into darkness and evil ways.” Luigi swallowed, but Peach went on. “That said, there’s still a chance we can meet them in the middle. If you want to try to meet King Boo in the middle, that’s okay. Just, promise that you’ll make sure if you ever feel like you’re over your head, you’ll call us to rescue you, okay?”

“Alright,” Luigi nodded, first to himself, then to his family. “Alright, I promise. Let’s go find E. Gadd, and get him to free King Boo!” He paused. “Oh, that may be easier said than done.”

*

It was, indeed, easier said than done.

“LIKE HELL I’M GIVING UP ONE OF MY PRECIOUS TEST SUBJECTS!” E. Gadd raged, once they had all arrived in E. Gadd’s lab and explained the situation. The Toads had wasted no time in climbing all over E. Gadd’s computers, and the scientist barely seemed to notice this in favor of freaking out over the mere suggestion that he let King Boo out of his test tube.

“Come on, I just need to talk to him,” Luigi pleaded, clasping his hands together. “I know it’s silly, and probably dangerous, but King Boo and I need to clear the air about some things.”

“Yeah, right!” E. Gadd snapped, “You just want to have sex with your evil ghost boyfriend! If I can’t get the rest of my test subjects back from Gooigi, who knows where he went, there’s no way I’m going to give up any of the ones I have left!”

“Luigi has more in his Poltergust, though!” Peach pointed out. “Helen Gravely, and that uh, ghost shark thing, and a whole bunch of red and blue ghosts!”

“Bah, I’ve got plenty of Goobs and Hammers!” E. Gadd waved that off. “Plenty of Oozers and Slinkers, and even Trappers. I’m mainly interested in the Boos and the full bodied apparitions these days. Obviously I’ll take them off your hands since YOU can’t store them safely, but it’s hardly a worthwhile trade! And don’t even think about overpowering me, no one knows how to extract a ghost from here properly except for me. Since Helen released my specimens last time, I’ve upped security! If you try to input the wrong code, the whole thing shuts down tight for the next fifty years!”

“Fifty? But, E. Gadd! I’ve helped you so many times before, surely you can make an exception this once?” Luigi begged.

“Come on, it’s for love!” Peach added.

“Not a chance,” E. Gadd snapped, looking grumpy. Well, he _had_ been awake all night. “Now I have work to do, still plenty of research to get to! Luigi, get out there and find me some more ghosts! Oh, but hurry up and empty your Poltergust first, need more to study after all.” Mario’s fists clenched took a step forward, looking ready to throw down until Luigi noticed and held him back.

“Well, what if we find Gooigi?” Luigi offered. “We could get your other subjects back?”

The professor paused in his typing and lowered his head. “How will you do that? I can track ghosts and humans from here, but Gooigi doesn’t have a strong enough signature on his own to pick up. He’s wherever Helen Gravely left him, it could take weeks to find him on your own.”

“He’s not on his own!” Mario protested, “He has me!”

“And me!” Peach said, taking on a fighting stance. “I know we can find him!”

Luigi felt himself tear up. “Oh, you guys are the best.”

“Hello? Did you not hear the part where I told you that you can’t track Gooigi at all? Even with three of you, this hotel is huge, and seeing as ghosts can phase through walls, he might not even be accessible to you!”

Luigi bit his lip. Then, his face lit up with an idea. “Oh! We can ask Helen where he is! She’s still in my Poltergust, we can let her out and have her tell us where Gooigi is!”

“Um, no offense Luigi, but she didn’t really seem like she would be willing to help you,” Mario said with a frown.

“Well, she was mostly mad at me because I didn’t help her capture King Boo,” Luigi hummed, “But King Boo IS captured now! So, she might be more agreeable to getting Gooigi back to at least free her hotel workers that he managed to suck up.”

“But if she wanted King Boo captured, why would she give us back Gooigi, if we were going to trade him to get King Boo free again?” Peach asked.

“Well she wouldn’t,” Luigi admitted, “But, and just hear me out here, maybe we just don’t tell her that?”

Mario and Peach exchanged looks. “But Luigi, you can’t lie to save your life,” Mario said flatly.

“Not to mention you don’t have a way to simply extract Helen from that canister!” E. Gadd cackled. “You’d have to surrender all your ghosts into my containment facility in order to separate her out, and I’m hardly going to just hand over one of the few powerful ghosts I have in my possession just to have you all risk losing her!”

Luigi whined a little and took off the Poltergust, holding it in his hands as he looked it over for some sort of release value or button that he hadn’t seen before. “But surely there’s a way to just empty the Poltergust as it is?”

“Sure, you could always destroy it!” E. Gadd smirked. “Of course, not only would that cause an explosion, but all the ghosts currently contained in the Poltergust would be released at once. Obviously this would cause big problems for you, so I hardly think you’re going to risk that simply to free one villainous ghost! Not only would you have reversed all your hard work, but your only means to fight the ghosts will be gone forever!” Luigi bit his lip and looked at Mario. Mario squared up his shoulders and nodded. Luigi felt a soft hand touch his shoulder and turned to see Peach smiling at him as well. In the silence, E. Gadd glanced up long enough to see Luigi was holding his Poltergust in his hands instead of wearing it and then turned back to his computer screen. “Ah, good to see you’ve seen sense! Now head over to the chute and empty your canister, Luigi. You know how busy I am! Really, I’m doing you a favor. You have to know King Boo didn’t respect you at all!”

Luigi sighed as he placed the Poltergust on the floor and Mario and Peach each took one of his hands. Peach made a quick motion to the Toads who all quickly jumped off the computer equipment and hurried out the door of the lab. Luigi took a step backwards with his family. “I don’t know if he respects me,” Luigi admitted, “But he was trying to, I think. And I think I might want to try, too.”

“Okay!” Mario grinned, “Here we go!” With that, Mario, Luigi, and Peach leapt into the air and slammed down on the Poltergust with every bit of force they could muster. Instantly, the entire canister split into cracks, leaking purple and green light. E. Gadd leapt up onto his chair and let out a scream.

“WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?! IN HERE?! YOU’RE GOING TO BLOW UP THE WHOLE LAB!” The professor ran for the lab door and flung himself out as the Poltergust shook and a deep guttural screech of a thousand souls echoed from deep inside of it.

“Time to go!” Peach said cheerfully, grabbing both Mario brothers by their shirts and dragging them out the door after the shrieking professor. They, E. Gadd, and the Toads all hurried to the far corner of the parking garage, ducking behind the covered vehicles and peering out nervously as a violent cacophony of rattles, firecracker bangs, as well as screeches of voice and metal, all sang out as a soundtrack to the show of flickering lights and piles of smoke that were billowing out of the lab door. Finally the pressure came to a head, and the resulting explosion was so loud that everyone’s ears were left ringing as bits of metal and wire were flung with force around the garage, putting dents in the walls and everything else in their path. That, however, was only the opening act to the absolute tide of ghosts that followed. They rose like a geyser from the wreckage of the lab, the ceiling did nothing to impede them as they flowed up so fast in so many different colors of light that the entire column took on the appearance of a vortex. Some ghosts peeled off the edges, hurtling through empty space and left to hover, checking themselves over and letting out cries of triumph and giving each other high fives. A few seemed to be doing some sort of victory dance together.

“Hm,” said Mario, “Maybe we should have thought that through a little better.”

“YOU THINK?!” E. Gadd shrieked, a crazed grin on his face, “All my specimens are loose now, and we have NO WAY TO FIGHT THEM! You even blew up my LAB, so I can’t even MAKE ANOTHER ONE!” he gestured wildly to the ghost column that had thinned out a little but was still coming out strong. “We’re all still TRAPPED in this hotel! We are all going to DIE, because YOU want to fuck a ghost!” He pointed at Luigi in an accusatory manner, but this time Luigi wasn’t going to take it. It may have been the adrenaline from the explosion, his ears were still kind of ringing and everything sounded kind of muffled.

“No! We’re going to die because YOU wouldn’t let King Boo go when we asked nicely! We could have handled it! But no, you need all the ghosts in all the world apparently!” Luigi waved his hands in the air in his rage. Luigi did not look especially intimidating in a rage, but he was doing his best.

“I do agree that maybe we shouldn’t have broken open the Poltergust inside the lab,” Peach said firmly, knocking some dirt off her dress with her hands and folding her arms and frowned up at the vortex of ghosts that seemed to finally be tapering off somewhat. “But you still gave us little choice, and we will not be taking the blame for your own poor designs. That said, this may look bad, but we are NOT going to die.”

“How do you figure THAT?!” E. Gadd snapped, trying to burrow under the vehicle they were hiding behind in hopes of avoiding his ghastly retribution from his captives.

Mario fielded that one. “Because we’re the good guys, and the good guys always make it out okay!”

The professor paused in his burrowing to look at Mario incredulously for a couple of seconds. “I think we follow _very_ different media franchises,” he said, and continued with his burrowing until he was completely out of sight. The Toads, exchanging looks of fear and worried noises, hurriedly followed him under, ignoring the professor’s protests over a lack of space to breathe. It seemed that, wherever the ghosts were fountaining out to, they were starting to come back down to find out where the source of the explosion was. Luigi took a few steps backward as he spotted the ghost shark from the pirate ship, and knew that Helen Gravely had to be around somewhere as well. That's when, he saw _him_. King Boo raced down from the ceiling like a bullet from a gun, spinning in a circle with wide eyes, and Luigi knew perfectly well who he was looking for. The ghost didn’t really seem worse for the wear after his imprisonment, and the ghosts around him were giving him a wide berth, probably unsure what the current power dynamic was and not wanting to hedge their bets with the wrong side. Also, with King Boo being at least twice the size of most of the other ghosts around him, he probably wasn’t exactly a safe mark even if Helen still ended up in charge.

Luigi felt a nudge at his back and saw both Mario and Peach making frantic pushing motions, urging Luigi to go flag the ghost down. Well, it was definitely now or never. This was why Luigi caused this mess after all. Taking a deep breath, Luigi left the shelter of the car and waved. “Here! I’m over here!” Luigi called, and King Boo’s eyes were on him in a moment. In the next moment, the ghost was in front of him, and then he was being lifted up into King Boo’s arms in a mighty embrace and spun in so many circles he started to feel sick.

Luigi managed to get one arm free enough to pat King Boo on the side to get his attention. “Y-yes, I missed you too, now please stop!”

“Luigi! I totally knew you wouldn’t leave me locked up! Yes, definitely didn’t think you were going to leave me to be experimented on forever! MWAH HA HA HA ha ha… yeah,” King Boo stopped spinning and cleared his throat awkwardly, but kept a tight hold on Luigi even as he lowered them to the ground. He looked around at the debris everywhere and the ghosts that were still getting their bearings. “Although, I will admit, I didn’t think you’d go so far as blowing shit up. Why didn’t you just ask E. Gadd to let me out? Now all of Helen’s ghosts are free again! And I don’t see many of MY ghosts anywhere, what’s up with that?”

“Oh, most of yours are probably still trapped in Gooigi’s Poltergust. We don’t know where he is,” Luigi coughed out, and finally King Boo realized how tight he was squeezing and let the man go. Luigi stumbled as he dropped a few inches to the floor and looked up at King Boo properly now, taking him in. Somehow, it wasn’t until this moment that it really hit Luigi how much he had actually wanted to see King Boo again. Luigi actually giggled a bit. “You know, I’m really glad to see you.”

King Boo’s body lit up pink and he clasped his arms together. “Oh, um, for real?” It was cute. It was so cute. Luigi could feel a blush of his own in response.

“Yeah,” Luigi nodded to punctuate the point. King Boo seemed to practically vibrate with pleasure, a goofy grin nearly splitting his body in half.

“Um, how happy would you say you are?” King Boo asked, leaning in close to Luigi, speaking into his ear. The hot air from his gaping maw washed over the man’s neck, contrasting the ice of King Boo’s arm taking Luigi’s hand in its grip. Luigi twitched in interest.

“Uh, I’d say, preeeeeetty happy. Yep.” Luigi was the one clearing his throat awkwardly now. King Boo laughed then, low and full of promise, still right by Luigi’s ear. Luigi felt a shiver race up and down his spine, and he didn’t know how they were going to get out of this with a tide of ghosts in every direction, but he did know what he wanted. He wanted King Boo’s hot, wet tongue, and his mouth, and his icy arms, and any other bit of him that he could get. He wanted it as soon as possible, touching as much of him as possible. Hopefully that would happen when they were a little bit further away from his immediate family, though. He was made aware of them when Mario and Peach both began clearing _their_ throats awkwardly, and Luigi pushed King Boo backwards without much resistance.

King Boo gave Mario a look of distaste. “Bet you wish you hadn’t attacked me, now.”

Mario shrugged. “Well, you _did_ kidnap me and my girlfriend. You kind of deserved it, really.”

King Boo glared. “That was to get back at _Luigi_ , not you!”

“Oh no, let’s not get into that weird logic again, please!” Luigi begged, getting between the two to hold them apart.

“Urgh, so I guess this is the part where you tell me you’ll shoot me, or jump on me, or something else dumb, if I hurt Luigi?” King Boo rolled his eyes. “I really hoped when I captured you I’d be avoiding this stupid conversation.” Mario opened his mouth, probably intending to launch into that very lecture, but was interrupted by a deathly silence falling over the room. It was as though the very thought of sound was sucked from the air, and Luigi could see his breath hovering in front of his face as the temperature dropped and his arms broke out in goosebumps.

“Uh oh,” Peach said as Mario quickly grabbed her arm to pull her half behind him. King Boo was quick to do the same with Luigi. Every ghost in the room except for King Boo seemed to be amassing in a ring around the edge of the garage, eyes trained on the four in the middle. Luigi could see a lot of familiar faces, including the bellboy, Chambrea, the security guard from the gift shop floor, the knight that King Boo had dueled with, Morty the director with his camera, and, in the back corner, even Serpci was eyeing Luigi and King Boo with eager interest (probably still awaiting her closure on the whole ‘star crossed lovers’ thing). Seeing as they were in the basement already, and the ghosts seemed to have generally shot upwards when they were shot out of the lab, no one expected the purple ring that appeared in the center of the room. It far closer to Luigi than he would have liked. Luckily, he spotted it right away and was quick to scramble away from it. His family and King Boo followed his lead, backing up as a voluminous head of hair rose up through the ring. This was followed by Helen Gravely’s head, torso, and the rest of her body, every inch of her rigid and twitching, a counterpoint to the overly-large smile running across her face ear to ear but not even coming close to reaching her eyes.

“So.” The word hung in the air, spoken as pure ice crystals. Helen looked at each of the humans in turn, eyes settling on Luigi. “Not only do you have the nerve to capture me, you’re stupid enough to set me and all my underlings free. And you have managed to destroy your only weapon that you could use against me.”

Luigi swallowed nervously and grimaced. “That uh, that does seem to sum it up.”

“Don’t talk to that bitch, Luigi,” King Boo snapped, quickly putting himself between Luigi and Helen. “She’s just a bitter old hag who’s mad she wasn’t good enough for me!” Helen’s head twitched so hard that it seemed to throw out her neck, her head tipping to one side at a far steeper angle than a living human could do, and her smile seemed, impossibly, to stretch wider.

“Wasn’t good enough?” Helen let out a cackle. “You think that’s why I’m pissed? I was angry you didn’t return my feelings. DEVASTATED even! But if that’s all it was, I would simply try to do away with Luigi and that would be that. Of course you DIDN’T just reject me, DID YOU?”

King Boo shrugged. “I don’t know, I do a lot of things.”

Helen seemed to be seething at this point. “Oh _yes_ , you definitely do _a lot of things_. Frankly, I’ve had enough of it. It seems I made a mistake with you. I thought I was inviting a prestigious guest to my hotel, but it seems I brought in nothing but a giant rat. And I won’t stand by pests in MY hotel!” 

King Boo frowned in befuddlement, gesturing wildly around himself. “What are you talking about? There’s literally ten actual rats on the floor of this room right now.” This was accurate. The ten rats were busily going through the wreckage of the lab and were decidedly unbothered by the legion of ghosts around them.

Helen silently glared at King Boo for a moment. Then she drew her rapier and raised it high above her head. “ _DESCEND UPON THEM, MY MINIONS_!” The humans let out a chorus of yelps, though King Boo only snarled as the ghosts amassing along and up the walls of the garage peeled away like pieces of mismatched wallpaper. They descended with whoops and hollers, with hisses and screams. Some held weapons, others merely raised their hands in fists. The ghosts fell upon them, and they fought as best they could. Mario and Luigi leapt into the air, coming down ghost after ghost. Some they hit, the ones that were wearing armor or clothing mostly, but others they merely passed through. Peach knocked a few away with her umbrella, but had about the same rate of success. With the air becoming rapidly thick with spirits the situation quickly became overwhelming. Luigi lost sight of his family, forced to concentrate on fighting where he could, but often getting pushed to the ground and being forced to jump up again and again, dodging swords and fists and still managing to get hit over and over, fresh bruises and nicks blossoming on his body.

“ _LUIGI_!” The man turned his head at the grisly, echoing voice that could only belong to King Boo. He sounded nearby, but Luigi only could catch brief glimpses of the giant Boo through the fray. He wasn’t looking back at him, but he was certainly having more success with fighting than the humans were. King Boo’s mouth was wide, and his teeth tearing through ghost after ghosts. They were coming down on him in waves, all trying to hold him down and getting cut down over and over again. Luigi wondered what Helen could have promised them or said to them to make them all willing to lay down their existence on the mission to take down King Boo once and for all. Luigi couldn’t focus on King Boo for long, however. He had his own battles to fight, and his lapse in attention led to him getting hit in the back hard enough to send him sprawling to the floor on his stomach once again. He landed hard and it took all of his willpower to crawl up onto his hands and knees, turning just in time to see what looked to be the ghost of a gardener, his garden hoe careening down toward Luigi’s head like a mallet. Luigi froze, bracing for impact. Impact, however, did not come. The gardener had frozen in place, mouth open on an unfinished war cry. Luigi frantically scanned the area to either side of him to see all the ghosts in his immediate vicinity had frozen in place as well, blinking wildly as they struggled to move.

“Luigi, hurry!” Peach’s high voice came from Luigi’s right, and he staggered to his feet to follow his brother’s girlfriend. She was holding the strobe light she had from before, the one that wasn’t attached to a Poltergust. Luigi couldn’t believe he had forgotten about it. He reached Peach through the small gap of frozen ghosts, just as the ones around him began to stutter back into movement. Peach grabbed Luigi’s hand and dragged him through the mass of ghosts, liberally using her strobe light as they searched for Mario. They found him on his feet, though surrounded and looking a bit worse for the wear as he ducked and jumped rapidly to dodge blows. When Peach froze the ghosts nearest him, he looked immeasurably relieved to see Peach and Luigi coming toward him and immediately wrapped them into a hug.

“No time!” Luigi balked, pushing Mario’s embrace away. “Where’s King Boo? Have you seen him?”

“Not in the last couple minutes, but he was doing fine when I last saw him, way better than us.”

“That doesn’t mean he’s still okay!” Luigi fretted as Peach kept spamming the strobe light in every direction to keep the ghosts from getting too close to them. “We have to find him, too!”

Mario thought for a moment, then held out his hand to Peach in silent question and she shrugged, passing him the strobe light. He gave the ghosts around him a good hit with it and then looked at Luigi seriously. “Alright, let me get you and Peach to safety, and then I’ll go back for King Boo, okay?”

“But-!” Luigi saw more ghosts closing in beyond the ring of frozen ones, and swallowed. He didn’t have time to argue this. “Okay. Okay, let’s just hurry.” With that, Mario grabbed one of Luigi’s hands and Peach grabbed the other, both pulling him away from the pursuing ghosts as Mario froze the ones in their path. They ducked around the frozen translucent bodies hanging in the air, unsure of where they were heading, only knowing they had to get away from their assailants. They managed to get back behind the vehicle from earlier, but even having it at their back didn’t do much to protect them. This was getting nerve wracking.

“HEY! Get out of here! You’re leading them all right to us!” E. Gadd’s voice came angrily from under the car and he stuck out his foot, trying to kick Luigi’s ankles. Fortunately, E. Gadd has very short legs, and didn’t come close to making contact.

“You know, I’m starting to think that maybe destroying the Poltergust was an extremely bad idea after all,” Luigi admitted.

“Definitely should have thought that through better,” Mario agreed, sweat dropping down his nose.

“I love you guys,” Luigi said sincerely, “And I’m sorry that wanting to try dating my arch enemy has led to our impending doom.”

Peach shrugged. “Well, sometimes things are just like that. And I love you boys too.”

“I love you three!” Mario forced a grin, still spamming the strobe light, but now with less gusto. He was getting tired. They all were. There were just too many ghosts, too few of them, no way to stem the tide. Then, just as all seemed lost, there was an almighty roar, and Luigi perked his head above the tattered white sheet to see through the mass of translucent bodies. The outline of King Boo was just visible, and he did not look to be doing well at all. He was hunched, still lurching from right to left, and every so often Luigi saw the silhouette of a tongue launch forward to hit the ghosts in front of him, but Luigi could see it was clear that even the King of Boos was getting overwhelmed, fighting an army all on his own. Luigi felt a deep ache in his heart. Peach noticed Luigi’s stance and followed his line of sight. Making a small noise, she took Mario by the shoulder at whispered in his ear. Mario looked down at the strobe light, then to Luigi and King Boo beyond him.

“Here,” Mario shoved the strobe light into Luigi’s hand. “Go save King Boo. We’ll be right behind you. If we want a chance to get out of this, we need him, and he needs you. Got it?”

“Got it,” Luigi nodded, infinitely grateful to his brother as he took the solid weight of the strobe light in his hand. Summoning both courage and whatever last dregs of energy he had left in him, Luigi leapt over the car and took off at a run toward King Boo. He didn’t bother using the strobe light unless a ghost was directly in his path. He dodged and ducked with renewed vigor, adrenaline pumping through his veins as he closed the gap and King Boo’s form became clearer and clearer.

“KING BOO!” Luigi yelled, drawn out, like a cry one makes when they leap off a bridge in a fit of unthinking heroism upon seeing a loved one tumble off moments before. He yelled as he finally burst past the last line of spooks blocking his path to the ghost he had been racing towards, and without further thought he shone his strobe light firmly around the entire space in front of him. He had, admittedly, momentarily forgotten that this would stun King Boo as well. He had an embarrassing moment where he waved his hand in front of King Boo’s unmoving face before he realized. Luckily, being more powerful than the average ghost, King Boo shook off the stunning faster than the others. Once he had, he spread his arms in a gesture that more or less conveyed ‘what the fuck was that for?’ “Sorry, sorry,” Luigi apologized, turning to flash his strobe light again at the ghosts that were sneaking up behind him. Mario and Peach must have fallen behind. 

“Well, you may not have your stupid vacuum anymore, but looks like you’ll be useful after all!” King Boo nodded to the strobe light.

“Mario and Peach, we need to save them!” Luigi stressed, pointing into the throng of ghosts, quickly hitting his strobe light again to refreeze the nearest ones.

King Boo huffed, but smirked. “Urgh, if we have to.”

Luigi smiled. “You’ll help?”

“Hey, I wanted you on my side for a reason,” King Boo said as he moved past Luigi, salivating at the sight of the stunned ghosts that were now sweating in front of him. “If we fight on the same side, armies will fall before us! The world will crumble in our wake! We will rule over a sea of ghosts for all eternity!”

“You always have to make it creepy, don’t you?”

“Hey, I’m a ghost, it’s what I do.”

“I guess.” Luigi bit his lip, readying his strobe light as the ghosts around them were thickening, readying another strike as ones closest to them started to shake off the stunning.

“Time for us both to do what we do best!”

“Fight ghosts?”

“Nope,” there was a cackle in King Boo’s voice. “You stun everyone, and I’ll swallow!” Luigi was glad he and King Boo were facing different directions so he couldn’t see him struggling not to burst into laughter. Then the next wave of ghosts closed in, and the two began to fight in earnest. They were in sync in a way neither could have fully predicted. Maybe it was because of King Boo watching Luigi’s every move for so long, or because of Luigi being wise to King Boo’s fighting style after having faced him in the past. But Luigi was fast as lightning with his strobe light, freezing wave after wave of ghosts, occasionally jumping up to slam down on some of the ones he felt he could make physical contact with, and using them to propel himself over King Boo to stop the ones that were trying to sneak up on him from any direction other than that of his gaping, ravenous maw. King Boo didn’t stop for an instant, easily dodging any wayward beams of light from Luigi as he shot out his tongue again and again to curl around ghosts two and three at a time, swallowing them down in mighty gulps. After a while, he abandoned use of his tongue to merely gnash his teeth up and down as he flew down lines of ghosts frozen in place by Luigi’s beam, looking every bit like an undead Pacman. Luigi didn’t know how long they fought, but after some time had passed he noticed that the ghosts had stopped actively trying to get closer and he and King Boo were chasing them down at they tried to flee. Deciding he didn't mind letting them go, Luigi stopped running and bent to catch his breath, watching as King Boo continued his chase.

“Hey!” Luigi called out once he found enough breath to do so, “Hey, come back, I think we won!” King Boo stopped his chase and turned, a screaming ghost still squirming between his lips as he looked at Luigi as though surprised at the interruption. “We won, they’re retreating!” Luigi stressed, wondering if maybe he should tell King Boo to spit that particular ghost out until King Boo sucked the rest of it into his mouth and swallowed hard, eliminating the possibility. Luigi was going to have to have a long, hard think on how he felt about King Boo being a shameless cannibal in the near future.

Luigi’s reassuring words, however, were assuaged by a sharp female voice that clipped in behind him, over his shoulder, _far_ too close to his ear. The horrified look that jumped onto King Boo’s face told Luigi that the speaker could only be one Helen Gravely. “Oh, you’ve won? Is that what you think?” Luigi whimpered, and in a short gasp for air, two deathly strong, well-manicured hands clasped around his shoulders. They yanked him into the air with enough force that the strobe light fell loose from his hands to clatter on the floor. “Really, King Boo? This is the creature you denied me for? The creature you stole my hotel to woo? This strange little man?” Helen snorted as she shook Luigi like a child trying to make a soda bottle fizz. “Ridiculous! An incompetent little fool like _this_ holds the heart of a being as strong as you?” Helen let out a somewhat undignified snort. “Well, at least he’s good for one thing.” Helen rose herself higher into the air, followed by King Boo who kept her in sight but seemed uncertain about getting closer, most likely in fear of what Helen might do to Luigi. Helen sent King Boo a terrible, knowing, smile. “If I fly this little cutie up to the roof and throw him off to his doom, I’ll at least know that I’ve hurt you far worse than you could _ever_ harm me. So that means I win in the end!” Helen laughed and then started racing up, higher and higher toward the ceiling.

“NO!” King Boo roared, screamed, as he raced after her. “DON’T PHASE HIM THROUGH THE CEILING! He could die! He almost died last time!”

Helen laughed loudly, not slowing for an instant as she vanished through the ceiling, though her voice was still audible in the room below. “Oh really? How exciting! Then I guess I’ll just be throwing his body off the roof then!” That was the last thing that Luigi heard, because that was the moment he felt something important inside of him stutter out of proper existence for a moment longer than his body could stand, and he immediately lost consciousness.

*

Mario and Peach hadn’t had as much trouble as they had feared they would once they lost sight of Luigi in front of them. It seemed, once Luigi and King Boo had found each other, the ghosts mostly decided to focus their efforts on them and Mario and Peach were left forgotten on the edges of the fray. They caught glimpses of the fight inside, and Mario felt such a swell of pride to see his younger brother fighting with such intensity. There was hardly a sign of the fearful man Mario usually defended, and for moment he thought that, perhaps, King Boo was good for him after all. Cannibalistic traits aside, of course. Though in King Boo’s defense, it _was_ in self defense this time, at least. They also witnessed the moment where the tide seemed to turn, and the ghosts began to retreat in the opposite direction of his brother, vanishing through the walls and ceiling to escape their fate between King Boo’s jaws. Finally, helplessly shouting in their shock, Mario and Peach witnessed Helen Gravely grab hold of Luigi and fly him up through the ceiling, pursued by King Boo. Mario wasted no time in snatching up the discarded strobe light from the floor. He turned to Peach and was met with a nod of understanding, and the two took off at top speed for the elevator.

*

King Boo could not seem to move fast enough. He was closing in, yes, but not fast enough to stop Helen from going through two floors before he managed to catch up to her. He body slammed himself into Helen’s side just as she burst through the escalator of the hotel’s gift shop area, knocking Luigi free. His body, luckily, only flew about a foot away, just clearing the top of the stopped escalator and skidding along the floor. Most unsettling, however, was the fact that Luigi wasn’t moving. At all. King Boo felt a deep coldness spreading inside of him, an emotion that was far removed from anger and fear. The feeling was creeping, and awful, but he pushed it down. He pushed it down because he couldn’t think of that right now, couldn’t consider the possibility. If he did, he might lose his mind from the grief, and Helen was still here and still very much a threat. In fact, Helen was already drawing her rapier.

They dueled much as they had in the museum. Tongue and teeth clashed against steel, their parries and thrusts led them up and down the two floors of the shopping area. They flew in and out of the shops without care how many walls they passed through, or how many vacation t-shirts and silly plastic palm tree knick-knacks were thrown to the floor in the gusts of wind and energy that flowed from the power of each swing. And in all that time, Luigi didn’t move an inch. He still didn’t move as Helen gave up her fight and managed to grab hold of Luigi again, cackling wildly and taking off through the wall this time, and King Boo felt a twist in the core of him as he raced after her, up the outside of the building. The wind whistled in his ears, the floors whizzing by without notice as he zeroed in on only Luigi, dangling from Helen’s grip like a rag doll behind her. The small part of King Boo that he wasn’t able to push down, the last gasp of a stark and cold reality, whispered that it was most likely long too late. Gritting his large and sharp teeth, King Boo put every ounce of himself into speeding up, just a little more, and nearly managed to catch Helen when she made an abrupt turn and disappeared into the side of the hotel once more. King Boo skidded to a stop mid-air and followed Helen into the building, quickly noticing they were near the top of the building now, in the deteriorating dance club. The floor was a myriad of flashing, neon colored tiles, though more than a few flickered and showed the cracks and splinters of age. Helen had dropped Luigi in the middle of the floor, and King Boo rushed to his side, looking around wildly for Helen and spotted her near the ceiling. She was checking her nails as she feigned boredom. More likely, the chase had tired her out.

“I suppose there’s no real point on continuing this chase. I’m pretty sure your little beastie is almost dead by now,” Helen said idly, though still hovering near the ceiling for a quick escape. “I’ll let you mourn him for a moment I suppose, but how about we meet on the roof in, say, fifteen minutes? I should be well prepared to crush you by then, and you can do whatever it is you plan to do with _that_ while it’s still warm.”

Helen sneered, and King Boo clenched his hands and teeth, torn between launching himself at Helen right now and throttling her, and cradling Luigi in his arms in hopes to feel something, anything, to prove he was going to be alright. He and Helen locked eyes, and with a frustrated growl, King Boo turned firmly away from her and lowered himself down next to Luigi, propping up his limp head in one arm and feeling for his wrist and pulse with the other. When he glanced up again, Helen was gone, and so he returned to trying to find that little hum of life. But he couldn’t find it. In fact, he found himself having trouble holding onto Luigi at all as his body seemed to be phasing through parts of King Boo. King Boo’s arms were fading in and out of view in front of his eyes. He was going into shock. The object of his obsession, the man who had become so very important to his core, wasn’t moving, and it was affecting him now, physically disrupting his energy. He was so wrapped up in this moment of oppressive grief, he didn’t even notice he was dry sobbing. There was not a tear on his face but huge, wracking moans wretched their way out of his throat over and over again. He also didn’t notice the shouts of “Luigi?” and “King Boo, are you on this floor?” that accompanied the sound of the elevator opening. Luckily, Peach and Mario heard the gut wrenching sobs and so saw fit to follow the sound onto the dance floor and hurried over to King Boo and Luigi as fast as their legs could carry him.

“No… what did she do?!” Mario gasped, falling to his knees beside King Boo, who instinctively curled himself around Luigi and tried to gather him closer even as he slid through his arms more and more with every scramble to catch him. Peach stepped in to gently help Mario pull Luigi out of King Boo’s failing grasp. Mario looked close to tears himself, so Peach was the one to place her own, firm fingers against first Luigi’s wrist and then against his neck. There were moments of quiet punctuated by more whimpers and sobs, until finally Peach let out a soft sigh and smiled.

“He’s alive. There’s a pulse.” She said this firmly, but cautioned, “It’s weak though. I’m not sure if he’s going to be okay, but it’s not too late yet.” King Boo’s sobs stopped. He stared down at the body, at Luigi, and flew up abruptly in the air a few feet, hanging over the human's heads. Luigi was alive. He was weak, but alive. He might still be okay. But he was still in danger, and Helen needed to be defeated. “We need to get him somewhere safe,” said Peach, looking from Mario to King Boo as both of them started to come back to the urgency of the situation. The floor was deserted for now, but ghosts could pass through walls. They could be attacked again any moment. “We were lucky enough to find this elevator button, but there aren’t any buttons for higher floors, so maybe you know somewhere below that would be safer?”

“Nowhere is safe from Helen in this hotel except the Master Suite,” King Boo grunted, hacked, and coughed the shiny gold button up out of his mouth and onto the floor.

“Ew,” said Mario.

“You two get Luigi to the Master Suite, and keep him safe.” King Boo floated in close to Luigi and placed a single kiss on the top of his head even as it lay in Peach’s lap. “I’ve got to finish this. Helen Gravely must be devoured for her crimes.”

There was a pause.

“Kind of sucks for her,” Mario muttered, “I know she’s nearly killed my brother, but this _was_ her hotel that you took over. Feels like it’s a bit unfair she still ends up losing it to you when you’re the one who stole it.”

“Yes, but she also freed me in the first place to take over the world,” King Boo pointed out. “So she’s also pretty evil, even if she rightfully owned this hotel before I got here.”

“I guess.”

“Um, boys?” Peach waved their attention back to Luigi who they could now tell was breathing shallowly, but was still very pale and shaking ever so slightly now and again. He may be alive, but he was far from well. Mario quickly helped Peach lift Luigi’s body between them, heading for the elevator. King Boo, on the other hand, rose upward. As he did, he felt himself grow solid again as his core tightened in resolve. He didn’t know if Luigi would be okay. He didn’t know if Luigi would wake up any time soon, if at all. But he knew he could get revenge. He could get revenge, and then get back to Luigi’s side. He would deal with anything that came after that, as soon as Helen was gone from his afterlife forever.

*

It was very cold on the roof, and that wasn’t entirely because of the altitude and the early morning breeze. The horizon was lighting slowly, the seemingly endless night was coming to its end at last, and Helen hadn’t shown up yet. King Boo was getting restless, and angry, and this was sending the temperature plummeting harder than Mother Nature could hope to accomplish this far into June.

“What the FUCK are you waiting for, Helen?!” King Boo snapped, pacing back and forth on the rooftop, “You said fifteen minutes! It’s been at LEAST twenty five!”

“Please, darling. Haven’t you heard of being stylishly late?” King Boo whipped around to find Helen floating calmly by the edge of the rooftop. At her side stood the green gooey form of Gooigi. King Boo eyed the green goo homunculus warily. Helen, without a hostage, wasn’t enough of a threat for King Boo to worry about his safety. But Gooigi might be a problem. He would have to be careful of it. “Well?”

“Well, what?” King Boo snapped.

“Well, is Luigi dead yet, or not?” Helen asked haughtily, “I need to know if I need to finish the job once I’ve locked you away again. And trust me, you won’t be free again anytime soon. I will bury you far deeper than that idiot professor would ever think to. Far deeper than any mortal could ever _hope_ to reach.”

“In your dreams,” King Boo growled, “And for your information, Luigi is still alive, he’s going to be _fine_ , and even if you somehow DID defeat me, which you WON’T, he will avenge me to his last breath!”

Helen rolled her eyes. “Oh please, his Poltergust is gone. He’s no threat to me or anyone.”

King Boo’s eyes narrowed. “Luigi doesn’t need a Poltergust to defeat the likes of you. He’d find a way. I know he would. Luigi is the most formidable human I’ve met, living or dead, and he is going to get through this. I won’t let you touch him again!”

“HA! You wouldn’t have even had a _chance_ to see him again if I hadn’t freed you! And you repaid my favor by wronging me! You broke ghost code completely!”

“Oh, you and I both know that code only applies to equals as a sign of respect!” King Boo snarled.

Helen stood ramrod straight and flew back over the edge of the building and into the open air. “I am DONE being insulted by you! Gooigi, show that horrid beast of a Boo where on the hierarchy he _really_ stands!”

King Boo’s attention snapped to the green man as soon as he heard the telltale whirling of the Poltergust. Being made of goo certainly didn’t seem to decrease its power, and King Boo kept a wide berth to avoid the suction as he moved over the edge of the building himself to get out of range. Gooigi may be powerful, but he couldn’t float or fly unless Helen wanted to get close enough to pick him up, and she didn’t seem inclined to do that just yet. King Boo knew he needed to wrap this up. There was no time to play around, he had to destroy Gooigi. Then, hopefully, he could finish off Helen unhindered and get back to his Luigi before… Before nothing! Luigi was going to live, and King Boo wasn’t going to fail him! Summoning up his energy, which had expanded a great deal now that the ghosts he had consumed had settled in him and their energy had fully integrated with his own, King Boo tapped into the full depths of his rage. Rage at Helen for daring to take Luigi from him, and rage at Gooigi to dare fight him while wearing the face and weapon of his beloved. Gooigi was nothing but a cheap copy, and now was the time to prove it. As the Boo’s rage deepened, storm clouds gathered overhead, blotting out the lightening sky, and a wind whipped around them, pushing Gooigi forward a couple of steps in its intensity. The clouds lit up, and rumbled. Gooigi ran for the edge of the building as a lightning bolt zapped the top of the building from above, only narrowly missing him. King Boo swore and his rage spiked, another lightning bolt falling, but they missed the goo man again and again. King Boo was getting angrier, but the lightning wasn’t accurate enough.

“Fine! Have a taste of this!” King Boo snapped, and opened his mouth wide, hacking out a ball of energy as bright as fire, and launching it straight at Gooigi. It was powerful, but slow, and Gooigi dodged it without much trouble. King Boo tried launching a series of fireballs, but Gooigi avoided those easily as well. “URGH! YOU ASKED FOR IT!” Next, King Boo unfurled the full, terrible length of his tongue. It slammed down on Gooigi, managing to stun him in place for a moment, but he still got out of the way before King Boo could get in a second blow. He tried swinging his tongue across the entirety of the rooftop, but somehow Gooigi used his Poltergust to jump it! “Man, seriously?” King Boo backed up a little to think. Well, nothing for it. King Boo hacked once, twice, and then vomited up into his hands a huge, black energy bomb. He wound up his swing, and launched it straight at Gooigi. He dodged it. King Boo started swearing again, and then Gooigi did something completely unexpected. He picked up the unexploded bomb with his Poltergust, and fired it directly into King Boo’s open mouth. Where it exploded. Even King Boo can end up stunned by a bomb exploding inside of his mouth.

“HAHAHAHAHA! How does it feel to have your plans literally blow up in your face?”

“Oh my god, shut UP, Helen!” Time to kick this up a notch. King Boo closed his eyes to concentrate for a moment, then summoned two illusion clones of himself. Their blows would still hurt Gooigi, but they would be good decoys since King Boo wouldn’t feel any damage they took. It was a hard trick to pull off, it took a lot of energy, but apparently the situation warranted the big guns. That's when the real battle began. With three tongues, three sets of fireballs and bombs to avoid, Gooigi was finally starting to struggle. He was hit by one fireball, then two, and King Boo stayed well away, so Gooigi couldn’t reach him with the Poltergust either. The clones occasionally would get a bomb in the mouth, but they reformed quickly. Maybe the real Luigi could have figured out which one was the real King Boo, but this cheap imitation didn’t stand a chance over the real thing.

“HEY!” Helen yelled as Gooigi took another hit and was starting to slow significantly, bits of goo appearing to melt off of him. “DON’T YOU DARE FAIL ME, TOO YOU GOOEY LITTLE TWINK!”

“Wow, rude,” King Boo muttered, then raised his voice. “Sorry Helen, but there’s only one man who can finish me off, and I accept no substitutes!” And with that, King Boo and his doubles all hit Gooigi with three bombs simultaneously. They exploded, and so did Gooigi, spraying goo everywhere, hitting Helen's dress particularly badly. This, however, also exploded Gooigi’s Poltergust. It was honestly a good thing they were outside. Two Poltergust explosions in succession may have been too much for the hotel’s structural integrity, spectral energy or not. Yet again, ghosts were sent flowing out into the sky above, though this time they looked less like a column and more like a wide, twisting spiral of varied colors that spread over the sky. As ghosts peeled off of it, they hung in the air around Helen, grinning down at her with feral eyes and glittering teeth. A line of Boos arranged themselves in front of their King and bowed to him in respect. King Boo couldn’t help but grin. It was good to have a court and army again, even if he didn’t really need them for this next part. If there was one thing he loved to indulge in, it was overkill.

“Um,” Helen let out a nervous giggle as she took in the scale of her predicament. “P-peaceful surrender?”

King Boo hummed, pretending to examine his non-existent nails. “You know, I don’t think I’m really known for taking prisoners.”

Helen let out a long whine. “I-I just wanted my hotel back!”

King Boo glared. “Luigi might be _dying_ because of you! Why should I show you mercy, now?”

Helen was sweating as she could see King Boo’s ghosts amassing below her, cutting off her escape. “Um, well, uh…”

“That’s what I thought,” King Boo smirked, eyes full of cruel glee. “DESCEND, MY MINIONS!” Helen screamed as King Boo’s army fell upon her. King Boo turned to his Boos to give them quick instruction. “If you catch her, teach her a lesson. Get her locked up somewhere until I can deal with her personally, and then await my orders! If you see any of the humans, get them arranged in the lobby with their luggage. Faster we get them out of here, the better. Unless it’s Luigi, obviously. If you see Luigi running around, you need to return him to me immediately.”

“Yes, boss!” The Boos all grinned widely and saluted, taking off after Helen, who had managed to wiggle free of the army in the confusion and was flying across the sky, filling the morning with screams. It was music to King Boo’s ears. But with that task delegated, King Boo had something much more important to attend to. Taking a deep breath, and trying very hard not to assume the worst, King Boo let himself sink through the rooftop, and into the safety of the stark white Master Suite.

*

The Master Suite took up the entire top floor like a penthouse, and the enormous, decadent bedroom that King Boo descended into was empty. King Boo slowly floated through the empty halls, occasionally ducking through walls to check inside the rooms, but there were no humans to be seen. He was starting to worry until he finally got to the living room, and breathed a sigh of relief to see Mario and Peach’s heads over the back of the white sofa in the conversation pit. They didn’t seem to be crying, which was a good sign. He floated closer, silently, and then finally relaxed when he saw Luigi laid out along the other side of the couch, a soft blanket pulled over him up to the chin.

“How is he?” King Boo asked, not even taking pleasure in the way Mario and Peach both jumped a mile when he spoke.

“Oh, King Boo, it’s just you,” Peach sighed in relief. She smiled. “I think Luigi will be fine. He hasn’t woken up yet, but his breathing has evened out, and his body has warmed up a lot. Mario did CPR once or twice a while ago, but he hasn’t had any trouble breathing for most of an hour now!”

“Geez, how long was I gone?” King Boo muttered, getting close enough to put an arm to Luigi’s forehead, which wrinkled a little in his presence.

“A while,” Mario snorted, “I was going to go give you a hand, but Peach wouldn’t let me.”

“I couldn’t watch Luigi and get supplies for him at the same time!” Peach insisted. “Anyway, no sense having both of you get into this condition.”

“I assume Helen’s dealt with, then?” Mario asked lightly and King Boo gave a dark chuckle in response. It was enough confirmation for Mario.

“So, now we just wait?” King Boo asked.

Peach nodded. “Now we wait.” King Boo sighed and settled near the floor by Luigi, watching his chest rise and fall intently.

After several minutes in that strange silence, Mario spoke. “You really care about my brother, huh?”

King Boo didn’t take his eyes off Luigi as he replied. “Luigi is mine. I want all of him. Forever. I’m a King of ghosts. I cannot accept less than eternal commitment. He will rule by my side, and will never require the presence of another soul but mine again.”

Mario sighed. “He’s right, you do make everything unnecessary creepy.” King Boo finally took his gaze off of Luigi long enough to send Mario a glare.

Peach cut in before King Boo could say something else unhelpful. “You know, Luigi really likes you, too.”

“He does? Did he say something? Tell me word for word!” King Boo’s attention was now fully on Peach, who squirmed a little under his intense focus.

“Well, I-I don’t quite remember his exact words, but he did say he wants to try dating you.”

King Boo made a face. “Why? He already agreed to marry me, why do we need to date?”

Peach blinked and sank back into her seat. “Oh my, you really have a lot to learn!”

Mario shivered, sensing the start of a very, very long Peach-brand romance lesson, and stood abruptly. “I’m going to the kitchen to make some snacks! Luigi’s bound to be hungry when he wakes up!” He raced from the room, leaving a confused King Boo in the dust as Peach leaned forward and started speaking rapid fire, moving her hands animatedly. She was soon pulling cue cards and PowerPoint slides from nowhere. King Boo, caught off guard with nowhere to go, was forcibly subjected to three straight hours of a crash course in human romance and healthy sexual relations. Mario didn't come back until Luigi finally started to stir, coincidentally just as Peach summed up her lecture.

“In conclusion, consent is the powerhouse of the sex!”

“Consent is the powerhouse of the sex,” King Boo repeated dully, blinking owlishly at the wall, and feeling rather overwhelmed by everything he had just learned. Peach grabbed Mario’s arm and whispered something in his ear. Mario looked unsure as Peach merely giggled and pulled him reluctantly toward the elevator. “Now remember, you two play safe, and we WILL see you both downstairs before we leave, okay?” Peach smiled as Luigi let out a groan and started to sit up just as Mario was tugged into the elevator and the doors slid shut. King Boo turned back to Luigi, who was finally awake, rubbing at the dark circles beneath his eyes. It was then that the importance of this moment finally hit the ghost. It seemed, at last, his dreams and aspirations had come true.

He and Luigi were _finally_ alone in the Master Suite.


	17. The Floor Where the Sex Happens

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *standing on a stage, in the middle of a dark theatre hall, a spotlight shines down*  
> Ahem.  
> *taps the microphone, winces at the feedback, and leans in to caress it with my lips*  
> It's time.
> 
> ARE. YOU. READY. TO. ROCK?!
> 
> *orchestra pit full of 60 electric guitars and ten drum sets starts fucking wailing*
> 
> I SAID, ARE YOU READY TO ROCK?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!
> 
> *a giant pinata King Boo descends from overhead*
> 
> WELL HERE'S THE MAIN EVENT GHOST FUCKERS!!!
> 
> *pinata explodes and scattered pages of this fucking thing rain down on you all*
> 
> There. Hope you're pleased. I'm going to go drink some water and pass out and start the last chapter tomorrow. Have a good wank y'all, hope it's good, I just crammed a bunch of sex scenes into one chapter like an amateur but HEEEEEEY at least I finished it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so this is basically monster sex but its nothing grotesque, still, warnings for this chapter include:  
> A lil vorishness  
> Talking about non-consensual situations in detail (but the talking part is consentual)

**17 The Floor Where the Sex Happens**

Luigi regained consciousness in increments. At first, reality blended in with dreams. He heard the soft, lilting voice of Peach. He couldn’t make out the words, but it was comforting. His body felt heavy, his eyelids like lead weights, and for a while he didn’t bother to reach for the wakeful world. He was content to merely lay in place, soothed by Peach’s voice, wondering idly if the voice was part of his dream but not caring enough to check. As he regained a little more of his awareness, he realized that he felt a blanket over his body, feather soft and pleasantly warm. That was nice, though it contrasted unpleasantly with the cold breeze that tickled his nose. Still, he was mostly warm, and Peach’s voice was still droning in the background. He thought he might’ve heard his name once or twice. Pain pricked along his joints when he shifted, but it started to ebb just as quickly, and by the time the weight of his limbs and eyelids lightened the pain had dulled to an ache. As tempting as sleep was to return to, Luigi was starting to remember the events that occurred before he passed out, and he knew he had to get up to ensure all was now well. Just as he began waking up his muscles enough to move, he could hear the creak of springs, giggles, and footsteps hurrying passed him. He wanted to call out, but his voice could only let out a little rasped groan. He was so thirsty. He felt around with his hand and found the fabric back of a sofa. He used it to pull himself upright as his eyes finally cracked open, only to be left blinking rapidly and rubbing his eyes at the bright room he was faced with.

“Luigi, are you okay?” Luigi felt his free hand become enveloped in a cold grip, and turned his stiff neck enough to see King Boo holding his hand and wearing the look of concern that had become unexpectedly familiar these last several hours. Luigi smiled without thinking about it.

“I’m okay,” Luigi rasped out, though the effort left him coughing from lack of saliva. “Where’s Mario and Peach?”

“They’re fine, they’re downstairs. Stay there!” he ordered, and quickly flew away and through the far wall. Left alone for the time being, Luigi began to look around. It didn’t take long for him to realize he was currently in King Boo’s much touted Master Suite. The place was opulent to say the least, though King Boo always seemed to covet the finer of material possessions. The penthouse, however, was modern and stylish rather than the previous, gaudier inner sanctums he had found King Boo had haunted in past adventures. The room wasn’t actually _that_ bright, he clearly had been asleep long enough that the glowing light of day from beyond the large windows seemed stronger than usual. Luigi was lying out on a white sofa that lined the edges of a sunken pit in the middle of the room, covered in a zebra print blanket. A glance at the floor revealed a matching zebra print rug. The rest of the room seemed far more sterile, more for show than for use. Large mirrors were on one wall, on either side of a large projector screen. Near one of the windows was a large, barren tree in a pit of sand. Maybe an attempt at a Zen garden? A couple of vases of ferns dotted the edges of the room, and a large glass box in the corner furthest from the tree full of gears and wire seemed to be the top of the elevator. Something was odd, though. It took him a moment, but Luigi quickly realized there weren't any doors around the edge of the room. Surely this wasn’t the whole thing? It was nice, but he didn’t think King Boo actually had once planned to keep him trapped in a room this small for all eternity, at least not knowing what he did now. Luigi had just pulled the blanket off of him and was sitting up properly when King Boo came back through the wall, this time holding a large water pitcher and a glass.

“See? Can’t say I never did anything for you, now!” King Boo laughed maniacally as he poured the water into the glass and pushed it into Luigi’s hands with his usual massive grin.

Luigi took a long sip, smacking his lips and leaning back against the couch. He still felt wiped out. “After tonight, I don’t think I will ever be able to say that again.” He took another long sip, emptying most of the glass and took the pitcher from King Boo to fill it again. As he finished off his second glass, Luigi noticed that King Boo’s expression had changed from concern to something he couldn’t quite place. “What’s wrong?” Luigi asked, leaning over to place both pitcher and glass on the round side table. “Are _you_ okay?”

“Honestly, now that you’re here, I think I just realized I didn’t expect I would get this far.”

Luigi let out a burst of laughter. “Really? You sounded pretty sure when you were telling everyone we were getting married.”

“Well, I guess I didn’t plan for, um, so much interruption between you waking up in the bathtub and then getting you up here.” King Boo swallowed and looked at the floor. “And so, well, things are kind of different than I expected.”

“How so?”

“Well for one, your family were supposed to be trapped in portraits, not having refreshments in the lobby with the rest of your friends and my Boos. That’s kind of weird.”

Luigi shrugged, but nodded along. “An improvement from my perspective.”

“Bah, I guess it’s one of those dumb compromise things people keep telling me about,” King Boo rolled his eyes, but let it go. “For another thing, I hadn’t planned on you getting so close to actually dying. I mean, you were only out for a few hours, but like, you don’t really look that good. I mean, you’re still hot, obviously! You just look kind of sick, still. And I mean, maybe I wouldn’t let that stop me, but I just had the longest lecture EVER about how a ‘healthy relationship’ works.” King Boo did some hard air quotes around that. “And Peach said you might not feel up to much if you felt too sick, and I shouldn’t push you into doing stuff while you’re feeling sick or you could get more sick. She said a lot of other things too, I don’t really remember all of it.” King Boo had been frantically gesturing as he spoke, and Luigi reached out to grab King Boo’s arms in his hands, stopping the ghost dead in the middle of his encroaching rant.

“I’m feeling okay,” Luigi reassuring, “Better every minute, even! Though… I don’t think I should be phased through anything else anytime soon. At all. Probably ever. Pretty sure I was avoiding a bright light at the end of a tunnel at one point there.”

King Boo snorted. “Oh, that old thing? I use it as a reading lamp sometimes.”

Luigi stared for a moment. Then he cleared his throat, deciding to change the subject. “S-so, you beat Helen Gravely?”

King Boo glanced down at their joined hands a couple of times before accepting that Luigi wasn’t letting go, and then nodded eagerly. “Yep! Chased her down, forced your brother to carry you to safety, and then met her up on the roof for an epic showdown! She tried to sic Gooigi on me, but I wiped the floor with him, and blew him to smithereens!”

“Oh. Must have been, ah, a _sticky situation_?”

King Boo squinted. “Because of the goo?” Luigi was clearly fighting to keep a straight face. “ _A pun?_ It’s not even a good pun!” Luigi’s mouth was starting to turn up at the corners as he snickered. “I can’t believe you’re laughing at your own shitty joke.” Luigi was leaning forward now, cheeks red as he kicked his feet in mirth. Really, it wasn’t just the bad joke. The whole silly situation was hitting him. He was up here in King Boo’s inner sanctum, holding hands with his enemy who was telling him how he saved his life by blowing up a facsimile of Luigi’s own face, and Luigi felt comfortable enough with all that to make a bad joke. It was so absurd that Luigi thought he could bust a gut before his brain got past it. King Boo dropped Luigi’s hands and grabbed the sides of his face. His arms were icy cool against Luigi’s hot cheeks and the shock was enough to halt Luigi’s giggles for a minute. “Quit that,” King Boo said with a frown, and he looked so very _serious_ giving the order that it sent Luigi into hysterics again. The ghost dropped his face and folded his arms as Luigi fell back on the couch again, clutching his sides. “Are you making fun of me? It’s starting to feel like it. I just saved your life, you know! And even though I’ve been told that doesn’t mean you owe me anything, apparently, and the fact you agreed to marry me before doesn’t mean you owe me anything, and even though you seemed pretty fucking into me back when we were fighting in the basement that STILL doesn’t mean you owe me anything… I was kind of still hoping this would lead to us actually having sex.”

This, finally, sobered Luigi up. He let out a couple aftershock giggles and ran a shaky hand through his hair, down his face and over his mustache. At the mere mention of sex, he could feel his dick tighten a little under his Egyptian style linen skirt in interest. Luigi’s eyes slowly traveled across King Boo’s body, from the swell of his white belly, to his delicate and icy cold limbs. The crown on King Boo’s head shone dark red, highlighting the unearthly, sunken, black eyes that glittered in the low light, staring straight through Luigi’s flesh body into the soul beneath. They may not have been pretty in the traditional sense, like a warm brown or startling blue. But there was something else about them that sent Luigi’s heart racing. Something ethereal, and other. Not ancient, but timeless. Hypnotic and captivating. But maybe that wasn’t really what made Luigi’s heart race looking at them. It could have been the fact that after everything that had happened in the past day, it was enough that the eyes were attached to someone who seemed to genuinely care about him. Someone who was surprisingly fun to be around, in retrospect. Someone Luigi could see himself caring about in turn. Luigi’s gaze settled, finally, on that giant, fanged mouth. It was wide enough that Luigi could probably fit his entire lower half inside of it. The tongue wasn’t out, but the thought of it swam to the forefront of Luigi’s mind. The giant, wet muscle that was so dexterous, so tactile. The memory of it running over his neck had Luigi’s breath deepening, and he unconsciously licked at his lips.

“Sex… right... about that…” Luigi ran his hand nervously through his hair yet again, feeling too nervous to make the first move, even if he knew it would be welcome. He wasn’t even sure what to do, where to touch. He might know he wanted that tongue to touch every inch of him immediately, but he also knew that his mouth was probably too big to make out with in the traditional sense. It wasn’t like the Mushroom Kingdom had manuals on how one had sex with a Boo. It didn’t seemed to come up a lot, for some reason. Their anatomies were very different. Of course, Luigi could just ask King Boo to touch him, or to tell him where he would like to be touched. And that might work out fine. In fact, Luigi opened his mouth to do just that. But then, a thought came to mind, a curiosity, one that may have once filled him with dread at the answer but now he wanted to know. “So, you said you pictured this differently?” Luigi asked, voice heavier than he expected. “What would you have done if things had gone as you planned?”

“Huh?” King Boo blinked, backing up a few inches. “Why do you want to know that?”

Luigi shrugged, leaning forward to make up for those inches. “If Polterpup hadn’t tripped you, and you had grabbed me before I fell down the laundry chute, what would have happened next? When I was running I assumed I was going to end up in a painting but obviously that wasn’t what you planned. So, what _would_ have happened?”

King Boo looked incredibly embarrassed and uncertain, refusing to meet Luigi’s eyes. “Um, well, it’s not… I’ve learned recently that some of the things I planned weren’t exactly in line with… consent… which I’ve learned is extremely important, and it applies to WAY more things than I thought it would!”

Luigi huffed out a laugh. He had kind of expected as much. “Yeah, but you wouldn’t do that now, right?”

“Nope!” King Boo said quickly, “Not even if I wanted to! Because if I did, I would be giving you lasting emotional damage and would sabotage any chance we could have at a successful, positive, romantic relationship and healthy marriage!” He said this as though he were reciting bits of a class on emotional sensitivity training. Which he was. “Also, I would be inciting a war with the Mushroom Kingdom. I’d _probably_ win, but that would also probably make you upset so, yeah.”

“Exactly.” Luigi felt a little smirk crawl onto his face. “So as long as you never actually do anything without consent, it can’t hurt for you to _tell_ me about all the things you wanted to do to me." Luigi leaned in a little closer, finally reaching out to place a hand carefully, gently, on the side of King Boo’s massive, all-encompassing face. “And I’d like it if you told me in that voice you used down in the basement, when you asked if I was happy to see you.”

“Oh!” King Boo said, eyes widened, then dropped into a half lidded smirk, his voice lowering. “Oh, I get it. You want to know what the _true_ ending was.”

“Uh, _true_ ending?” 

“You know, when you make all the right choices in the dating sim and you get the ideal scenario ending,” explained King Boo, “Obviously this is still a good ending. A bad ending would be if you died or something.”

“So you play dating sims? This explains so much and yet so little.”

“E. Gadd had a bunch on his computer and I had to do SOMETHING waiting for you to get here.”

“Okay, let’s back up from that,” Luigi said quickly. He didn’t want to think about E. Gadd playing dating sims right now.

“Right,” King Boo nodded, “The true ending! Let’s see.” King Boo moved in again, crowding Luigi’s space and pushing him back into the couch cushions again. “First, I would have swept you off your feet into my arms, and I would’ve held you tighter this time, so you couldn’t even wiggle. No more escaping for you.”

“Yeah? And then what?” Luigi asked, his own voice deepening as King Boo lowered himself onto Luigi’s stomach. It was a strange feeling. King Boo didn’t weigh anything, but he had a heavy presence. It was why Luigi could touch him more easily than the other ghosts. Being as powerful as he was, if King Boo got into Luigi’s space when Luigi had nowhere to go, it still resulted in a cold pressure all the way along Luigi’s body. He shivered, but by unexpected benefit, the cold numbed out any aches that remained in his muscles. The position served well to make the bulge under Luigi’s skirt bigger. King Boo mouth opened again, his breath so hot in contrast to his body. At this angle, crushed into the couch with nowhere to go, Luigi couldn’t shake the tiny irrational scream in the back of his head that he was about to be devoured. Given the circumstances though, this only seemed to make him harder, and he suddenly wished he had given King Boo a strip tease before this so there would be less fabric between them.

“Then, obviously, I’d have taken you straight up through the ceiling to the Master Suite.” King Boo trailed off and frowned. “Oh, but then you would have passed out, huh? Wouldn’t have planned for that either.”

“M-maybe I wouldn’t have!” Luigi managed to pant out, squirming slightly in hopes of getting a little friction going. “P-pretend I didn’t. What then?”

“Hmm, I probably wouldn’t be able to wait very long once I got you up here. Every door would be locked, the elevator made useless, so I’d probably push you down on the sofa right where you are now.” King Boo pressed down a little harder, the sofa cushions creaked under Luigi’s weight. “You’d have been confused and nervous, ask why I was doing this. Then I’d shed that stupid disguise and show you my true colors. Would that have scared you?” Finally that massive tongue slid slowly and with purpose out of King Boo’s mouth and pressed against Luigi’s cheek, smoothing down to his neck. It was so hot, so full of promise, Luigi shuddered.

“Yessssss,” Luigi hissed out, not feeling the least bit scared, but definitely feeling a lot of other things. King Boo’s tongue retracted back between his jaws, and Luigi groaned at the loss even as King Boo laughed at him, a deep and dark sound. Luigi was straining against his clothes now, wishing King Boo would just hurry up and tear them away already.

“I’d see how scared you were,” King Boo grinned, “And I’d play it up. I’d give you the whole villainous monologue treatment, and do a big dramatic reveal of Mario and Peach’s portraits on the wall, close enough to touch and yet you would have no way to free them.”

Luigi felt his erection flag a little. “You were going to make Mario and Peach watch?”

“I mean, they wouldn’t really be conscious, so it would be more a psychological blow to you, but-“

“Yeah uh, not really into that.” Luigi winced. “Can you maybe not mention them again?”

“Oh, uh, sure.” Counter to the statement, King Boo looked rather _un_ sure. Luigi had apparently thrown him off his rhythm. “What about getting your clothes ripped off with my teeth? Is that okay to talk about, or…?”

“Yes,” Luigi said, doing his best to thrust his hips up into King Boo, hoping he could feel that he was still into this and wanted King Boo to get his groove back. “Only, m-maybe it would be better to demonstrate that part.” King Boo began to vibrate, and one look in the ghost’s eyes made it clear that he was very, very, excited by this idea. The pressure lessened as the ghost moved away from Luigi, eyes travelling along his body, the exposed skin and the bits still painfully clothed across his chest and loins. He was clearly trying to find the best place to start, yet still looking undeniably ravenous. Luigi recalled how he felt looking at the unnaturally mouth-watering buffet in the restaurant, and imagined he probably made a face just like that. At last, King Boo seemed to make a decision and the next minute passed in a frenzy. The ghost dived toward Luigi’s chest, and it took all of Luigi’s willpower not to try to block him on instinct. Within seconds, the fabric guarding Luigi’s chest was sliced neatly away by King Boo’s fangs, falling useless to either side of him and leaving his nipples to pebble in the cool air. King Boo took only a moment to observe Luigi’s exposed, heaving chest before turning his attention to the offending fabric obscuring Luigi’s delicious lower half. King Boo’s tongue ran itself over his fangs, wetting them so they gleamed before extending the muscle, running first up Luigi’s bare leg to his clothed groin. Then he lost all pretense as the tongue pressed down hard against the bulge, undulating against it so suddenly that Luigi cried out, bucking upward and digging his fingernails into the cushion beneath him. The tongue flattened, dampening Luigi’s entire groin with saliva, before he leaned in to do away with the rest of his clothing. The second the fabric was snipped away, Luigi’s throbbing dick sprang into the air, red and engorged, the head wet with pre-cum and glistening in the low light.

“Heh.”

“W-what?” Luigi asked, squirming in both need and embarrassment as King Boo leaned over to push his erection idly with one arm, giggling as it sprang back upright as soon as he released it.

“I know I saw it before, but it’s just really cute like this.”

“It- it’s not cute!”

“All of you is cute,” said King Boo, giving Luigi’s penis a few more playful bats before running his tongue over the area again, the heat alone was enough to wipe protest from Luigi’s mind. A fist flew into Luigi’s mouth to stifle a scream when the tongue began to move slowly up, trapping his dick between it and his stomach. The slow drag of the taste buds over his skin was insane, and he had never felt anything like it in such an intimate area.

“Urm, as good as this is, w-where do we go from here? I-I got a few ideas but if you still had a plan after this I want to hear it.”

King Boo’s tongue withdrew and huffed. “Geez, have some patience, would you? I thought you wanted the authentic true ending experience!”

“Alright, alright!” Luigi stretched his arms up above his head and pleaded to King Boo with his eyes. “Put your tongue back on me then, but don’t be shocked if I come before you want me to.”

“Oh, don’t worry about that, you’ll be coming plenty of times before I even THINK about letting you out of here.”

“Uh? My recovery time isn’t- OH SWEET MUSHROOM JESUS!” Luigi screamed as King Boo’s tongue sprang out and wrapped around his dick like a coiled spring, squeezing hard and pulling up, loosening enough to drop to his base again and squeezed up again, effectively milking Luigi’s stiff cock. “It’s too much! I’m gonna-” Luigi’s hands were everywhere, clutching the sofa, scratching at his arms and stomach, the rest of him thrashing wildly. Nothing was going to hold back the inevitable. Luigi’s orgasm hit him like a freight train, his cum fountaining out of him into the air, some landing on King Boo’s tongue and the rest on Luigi’s thighs. Luigi fell backward, oversensitive and twitching as King Boo set to work licking up the rest of his cum from his skin like an eager puppy. It was a soothing action, after tensing up so much in ecstasy it felt rather nice to have a hot massage. When Luigi finally came down from his high, King Boo had finally taken his tongue away and was smirking at him, eyebrows waggling knowingly. Luigi took one look at him before flinging his arm over his eyes. After a moment of blessed silence, Luigi peeked at King Boo from under his arm. “So, what was next on your agenda for seducing me?”

“Phht, seduction over,” King Boo snorted, “I assumed after I got you off like that, you’d forget all about Mario and be left begging for more. So then I was just going to fuck you on every surface of the penthouse.” King Boo blinked. “Uh, sorry for bringing up Mario.”

Luigi grappled with the back of the sofa to pull himself up into a sit, now very close to King Boo’s face. He leaned in enough to press his overheated forehead to King Boo’s icy one and sighed happily. “Well, we can definitely do that, not that there’s a ton of different surfaces in here. I guess there’s the sand in the corner.”

“Sand? I- oh right!” King Boo backed up abruptly, leaving Luigi to fall forward in his absence. The ghost flew up in front of the projector screen and clapped. The screen shook, then rolled up into the ceiling with a whoosh, revealing a large wooden door on the other side.

“There’s more?”

“Of course there’s more!” King Boo snapped. “I wasn’t going to trap you forever in the TV pit! I know enough to provide my house husband with a proper home for all his fleshy mortal needs!”

“Geez, okay, okay,” Luigi stood, padding across the floor to the door, unconcerned about his nudity now that King Boo had seen, touched, and tasted pretty well all of it at this point. “It’s okay if I go through here, right?”

“Of course, I prepared this place to house you for eternity, after all!”

Luigi paused, half halfway to the knob. “But we aren’t doing that, and I can still leave whenever I want, right?” King Boo rolled his eyes and gave Luigi a Look. “Yeah, yeah, alright.” He turned the knob. On the other side of the door was a hallway that looked more like part of a museum than part of a penthouse suite. The floors were polished marble, the walls a cold granite, the ceiling high enough that King Boo could stack several clones of himself on top of each other before reaching it. The walls were decorated in many colorful paintings and wall hangings. The hallway stretched ahead of him quite a long way toward a glittering, bejeweled statue of King Boo at the end, and seemed to be crossed by horizontal hallways at two points. Luigi couldn’t see too many other doors, but figured there had to be at least a couple more than the two he could see. Luigi took a closer look at the painting nearest him, and froze. “Um, that’s me.” It was, indeed, Luigi. In fact, it was Luigi and King Boo, tastefully depicted in a rowboat on a greenish river. Luigi was in a dress very like Peach’s, holding a delicate frilly umbrella. King Boo was rowing the boat.

“Do you like it?” King Boo lowered himself behind Luigi, wrapping his arms around the man’s waist and nuzzled into his hair. “I think it captured you beautifully.”

“It’s… nice? Um, good technique.” 

“There’s more!”

“… of course there is,” Luigi said flatly as King Boo spun him out to grab his hand, and then began pulling him around the hallways. He bypassed quite a few paintings though, so Luigi had to assume he was looking for a specific one.

“This one’s my favorite!” King Boo announced, having moved them off into a left hand corridor beside the windows. The dim twilight of morning filtered in to illuminate a large portrait of Luigi, as naked as he was now, pressed up against a dark green backdrop. He was captured in a moment of wild ecstasy, with his hand wrapped around his red and throbbing dick. Luigi blinked rapidly at the image as King Boo settled behind him again, running his arms up and down Luigi’s sides as he began to whisper in his ear. “While I was waiting for you, I’d pretend your soul was trapped inside of this painting.” Luigi could hear the grin in the ghost’s voice, and shivered from his words as much as from his cold touches that were slowly but surely zeroing in on Luigi’s hardening cock. “I’d imagine that this was how I trapped you. That I’d teased you for hours and hours until you could do nothing but take yourself in hand, you could think of nothing else.” Luigi leaned back into King Boo, hissing as his dick was encircled by the freezing ring of King Boo’s grip, so very different than his tongue and yet no less erotic. Luigi tried and failed to bite back his moans as King Boo’s arm moved faster and faster. His ghostly form began to tingle against Luigi’s hot skin, and Luigi knew he wouldn’t last long this way. “That’s when I would have trapped you on the cusp of orgasm, so that you would spend forever in that delicate moment, hanging between torturous need and the painful rip of release. And your purpose in that state was only to be a pretty picture to decorate my hall. Would you have liked that? Being a pretty decoration for me?”

“Oh _fuck,”_ Luigi groaned, “I’m gonna-“ That’s when King Boo suddenly tightened his grip mercilessly at the base of Luigi’s cock. The sound Luigi made was something between a scream and a whine. “You can’t be _serious_!” Luigi wailed, thrashing in King Boo’s arms, his hands uselessly scrambling to pry King Boo off of his dick. Five minutes ago he wouldn’t have anticipated the urgency of that action.

“You want to come, do you?”

“Yessss, yes I want to come!” Luigi was pretty sure, in that moment, he wanted nothing more than that.

“This is how I would have kept you,” King Boo mumbled, so close now that his fangs were brushing the shell of Luigi’s ear. “Forever and ever and ever, just like this, simply for my own fleeting pleasure.” Luigi’s testicles were starting to ache now, he needed King Boo to let go. He needed to come so badly that a tear slipped down his cheek, only to be caught by King Boo’s hot tongue. “But I’ll say this, as small a part as you would play in my world takeover in that reality,” King Boo reached up with his free arm to grab Luigi’s chin, turning his head just enough to catch the corner of his eye, “As my most treasured artwork, you would be _breathtaking_ to behold.” Then King Boo let go, and Luigi came harder than he had before in his life. His cum shot far enough that it splattered on the edge of the picture frame, thick and dripping. Luigi sagged boneless in King Boo’s arms as the ghost let out one of his more evil laughs behind him. “Was that too much for you? I haven’t even fucked you yet!”

“I-I need a breather,” Luigi mumbled, “Can I sit down, maybe?”

“Oh, yeah there’s a sitting room around somewhere.” King Boo helped Luigi over to lean against the wall, and then vanished through it. After about a minute wherein Luigi tried to catch his breath and remember how to think, King Boo reappeared and gathered Luigi up in a hug. He held him just far enough above the ground that his feet didn’t drag as he floated him gently down the hall to a door that had been left ajar. Inside this room was a wall of shelves, mostly lined with books, but a few held spooky knick-knacks such as skulls and wire sculptures as well. The floor was richly carpeted, and in the center was a love seat, clearly meant as a reading nook with end tables holding reading lamps on either side. Those lamps were off, however, and all the light in the room was coming from a lit fireplace. Though the room was large, the small ring of firelight gave the place a cozy feel as King Boo set Luigi on the love seat and settled his form next to him. The two of them shifted around to get comfortable, and ended up with Luigi sitting sideways, leaning against King Boo with his feet kicked up on the armrest. It was pretty comfy, like leaning on an over-stuffed, extra cold pillow.

“So, how long do you need before you can go again, do you think?” King Boo asked about one minute after Luigi started feeling kind of sleepy. It had been an awfully long night after all, and despite spending at least a few hours of it unconscious, two sequential orgasms hadn’t exactly helped his stamina.

“I don’t know, um, maybe a couple hours. Wouldn’t mind a nap, for a bit.”

“Oh.” King Boo shifted a little, and Luigi grumbled in complaint loud enough that he stopped. “Does it change anything if I pointed out that I haven’t gotten off yet?”

“Yeah, I don’t even have energy to get a human off, and I’m not even sure what I’m supposed to do to get a Boo off. Sorry but, kind of want that nap. You _did_ keep me up all night, you know. Plus, you kidnapped me and stuff,” Luigi waved his hands around in front of him for sleepy emphasis. “So suffer for a bit. As revenge.”

King Boo sighed heavily, sinking halfway into the love-seat so that Luigi was a bit more horizontal. Luigi hummed his approval and settled in deeper as King Boo pulled the throw blanket off the back of the sofa with his dexterous tongue and threw it halfway over Luigi’s body, leaving the man to struggle to get the rest of him under it. King Boo’s cold body was a great counterpoint to the hot fire and warm blanket, and Luigi was very close to a perfect temperature sleep. Then King Boo jumped a little under him, to his displeasure. "Shit, if you’re going to sleep for a while I’m going to have to call a Boo up here.”

“What? Why?” Luigi mumbled, eyes already closed but still conscious enough to question.

“Gotta send a message to your brother so he doesn’t think I kidnapped you again or anything.”

“Oh, okay, goodnight.”

“Luigi?” King Boo paused, taking note that Luigi’s breathing had slowed. He was out like a light. Trying to be careful not to jostle his sleeping fiancé, King Boo gently clapped and sixteen Boos suddenly appeared in the sitting room, hovering in the air above the love seat and grinning down at him from two neat rows.

“YES, SIR!” All sixteen yelled in unison.

“HUSH!” King Boo yelled back. “Luigi’s asleep!" The sixteen Boos all shut their mouths with a very audible click and focused on their boss half enveloped in a sofa, his mortal enemy stirring slightly against him under a fuzzy red blanket. This was, without a doubt, the least intimidating King Boo has ever looked. Yet even so, if they woke Luigi, they knew their King’s wrath would be fast and furious. So they bit their collective tongues and awaited their orders. “You dealt with Helen?”

“Yes, sir!” Boosement said with a salute. “She is locked up down in the Boiler Room to be dealt with at your leisure.”

“Good. And the other humans?”

“In the restaurant, eating the leftover food from the kitchen, sir!”

“Alright, Luigi’s going to be with me longer than expected. Tell his brother to leave us alone for a few more hours. Maybe four or five. Keep them busy with something, figure it out.”

“Right.” Boosement paused for a moment. “Um, so the other ghosts are still kind of breaking into fights between our faction and Helen’s faction…?”

“So _handle it_ ,” King Boo insisted in a hiss, glaring past Luigi’s slumbering head. “I’m busy. Do whatever you have to, but I don’t want to see any of you up here again unless I call you. Got it?”

“YES SIR!” The sixteen Boos yelled in unison, vanishing immediately before King Boo could retaliate. Luckily Luigi was out hard enough that it would take more than loud noises to rouse him. And so, King Boo remained as a semi-reluctant pillow for the next three hours.

*

When Luigi woke up again, he wasn’t entirely sure where he was. He took stock of his body, feeling pretty good overall, though he noted he had a bit of a case of morning wood. He figured he would have to take care of that, but when he turned his head his cheek pressed on something cool and squishy, and a little tingly. _Oh, it’s just King Boo,_ Luigi thought, settling in again. Then he stiffened. _Wait, King Boo?! That’s-!_ Luigi began struggling upright, fighting with the blankets entwining his arms frantically for a couple seconds before remembering that he was snuggled up to King Boo by his own will. He slowed down and turned his head to look at the ghost behind him. As far as Luigi was aware, ghosts didn’t have to sleep, but that’s just what King Boo was doing. He was very nearly submerged inside the love seat, only his face and forehead visible. He looked more like a cushion than ever before. His eyes were closed, mouth twitching occasionally, and a small snot bubble inflated and deflated as a quiet snore punctuating the air here and there. _Pretty cute,_ Luigi admitted to himself. He turned around properly so he was kneeling on the sofa. He hummed and held out a curious finger, reaching out and popping the bubble.

King Boo let out a ghastly wail of protest, his mouth stretching wide as many screams ripped out of his throat and echoed off the walls with force. There was an energy wave strong enough to blow Luigi’s hair back. This tapered off into a yawn, and King Boo tilted backwards. He was now only halfway submerged in the sofa, and his mouth hung open. His snores were much more pronounced as his arm scratched at his side in slumber. _Okay, maybe a bit less cute._ Luigi winced, sitting back on his haunches again, his cock still half-mast between him and the ghost that he felt more than ready to fuck. It only grew more erect as Luigi’s eyes traced King Boo’s open mouth, from the black line of the inner lip, to the sharp fangs that spoke of danger, to the glimpse of tongue that brought to mind many naughty images indeed. Luigi really wanted that tongue on him again. Of course, Luigi wasn’t going to do something as awful as try to put his dick in King Boo’s mouth while he was asleep. The fact that even crossed his mind was only testament to how messed up he was after his wild night, and how he was definitely too turned on right now for his own good. Maybe he could just do some quick masturbating, to take the edge off. Surely masturbating next to a sleeping being was okay, especially when he had just been sexually intimate with that sleeping being. Eyes not leaving that wet tongue, Luigi took himself in hand. His cock nearly wept in joy from his touch, and Luigi had to stifle his voice as he gave it some good, firm strokes. He wanted to keep it simple, just to get the job done. But somehow, no matter how close he felt, he wasn’t being carried over the edge. It was like something was blocking him. He needed something else. His free hand went first for his nipples, pinching and pulling at them, but it wasn’t enough. Then he dove for his testicles, caressing and kneading them gently, then harder, but he still didn’t come. He tried imagining King Boo’s tongue on him instead, and that was good, close, and yet… Luigi looked back at King Boo’s wide open mouth.

He was _not_ going to put his dick in King Boo’s mouth. He definitely wasn’t going to do that when he was this close to cumming. He definitely wasn’t. That was not what good guys did, he wasn’t going to do that. But maybe if he just put his hand in there and _touched_ his tongue. Just for a second. To remember the feeling better! That might be enough. Luigi had stopped thinking with his head brain. One hand was still running religiously along his red hot dick, his other reached out and into King Boo’s mouth, stroking firmly along King Boo’s tongue. King Boo let out a long, unmistakably erotic moan. Luigi perked up, feeling himself closing in as the ghost’s face twisted in his sleep, his mouth gaping wider still. Luigi grabbed himself, holding steady despite the quick flash of pain as he stroked King Boo’s tongue again, meriting a similar response. King Boo’s tongue was sensitive? Luigi wasn’t going to complain about that! Luigi stroked further back, hardly paying attention as his arm got shoulder deep into King Boo’s maw. The ghost was shaking now, his tongue vibrating under Luigi’s hand. Luigi was barely thinking as he began stroking himself again in earnest. Closer, closer, and then, just as he blew his load over the couch, the Tongue moved. It shot out instantly, coiling up Luigi’s arm and further around his torso.

“OH NO!” Luigi shrieked. His euphoria over his orgasm was cut horribly short as he was dragged into King Boo’s mouth. He was still wrapped tightly in the tongue, even as his jaws snapped shut and he was plunged into blackness. So much for keeping his dick out of King Boo’s mouth.

*

King Boo opened his eyes blearily. He wasn’t certain, because he hadn’t done it in a very long time, but he was pretty sure he had just been sleeping. He floated out of the sofa and stretched, taking in his surroundings. Luigi must have woken up and gone off somewhere, what a pain. King Boo made to smack his lips and noticed that his mouth felt strange. His tongue felt swollen. It was taking up too much space in his mouth, and was prickling as though it had lost circulation. And what was that weird muffled noise, was that yelling? King Boo opened his mouth, extended his tongue, and found Luigi clinging to it so hard that it had gone pale and numb.

“Hey, let go!” King Boo snapped, though his tongue was still out, so it sounded more like ‘AI! EGGO!’

“Oh, thank god!” Luigi cried, falling safely off the ghost's tongue and onto the love seat below, shaking like a maraca. King Boo smacked his lips against his tongue to try and get feeling back into it.

“Why were you in my mouth without permission?! Pervert!” King Boo snapped, still hovering up near the ceiling. Luigi had the presence of mind left to at least look embarrassed, twiddling his thumbs in shame. Saliva was still plastering his hair to his skull, so he looked extra pathetic.

“Yeah, well, I didn’t really want to end up _entirely_ in it? But I mean, you were asleep with your mouth open.”

“And what, you thought you’d just feel up my tongue in while I was sleeping?” King Boo shook his fist. “Why I oughta… you’re lucky I didn’t eat you!”

“Yeah, I’m getting that now.” Luigi was honestly miserable. “I’m really sorry. I won’t do it again.”

King Boo sniffed, but appeared mollified. “Well, as long as it doesn’t happen again.” He floated back down to the couch and poked Luigi’s face, grimacing at the visible thread of spit that stretched between his arm and Luigi when he pulled away. “Well, looks like someone needs a bath.”

“That sounds pretty good,” Luigi said, giving a hesitant smile. King Boo reached out toward Luigi with the aim to grab him, then seemed to think better of it, and merely gestured for Luigi to follow him as he floated to the door and back out to the hallway. The bathroom, when they reached it, followed the modern-yet-opulent style of the living room. There was a whirlpool bathtub sunk into the floor behind a glass wall, which partitioned it from the fancy self-flushing toilet and white porcelain sink. The black tile floor gleamed as Luigi padded across it, effectively leaving a slime trail in his wake, as King Boo hurried on ahead to the tub and pulled a leaver. From above the tub, a waterfall shower gushed to life, the sheet of water falling elegantly into the tub below where it flowed in a spiral down the drain.

“You can start rinsing off. I know there’s gotta be shampoo around here somewhere.” King Boo left Luigi to start rooting around in the cupboards near the sink, while Luigi tested the water with his hand. It was perfect, just a shade cooler than most people would like, but Luigi preferred it that way. With a soft sigh, Luigi lowered himself down the steps on the side of the tub and got fully under the spray, ruffling his hair and putting his whole face under the water in hopes of getting the worst of all the sweat, grit, and saliva he had acquired over the night off of him. Luigi moved out of the spray to rub his eyes, and found King Boo by the edge of the tub, just watching him. There was a look of contemplation on his face and a couple different bottles of shampoo and body wash in him arms. Luigi knew he had been naked for a while at this point, but he suddenly felt self-conscious about it again. Something about the act of bathing felt more private, like the water somehow added another layer of intimacy. He shifted, feeling a chill without the water pounding over him, and wanting to go back to it.

“Are those for me?”

King Boo looked a little startled, glancing down at the bottles in his arms and nodded. “Right, yep, these ones smell the best!”

“Oh, good? So, can I have them, then?”

King Boo nibbled on his lower lip for second. "No.”

“Eh? Why not?!”

King Boo looked uncharacteristically shy. Maybe he caught the added intimacy of the moment as well. “I want to do it.”

“Huh?”

“I want to wash you, okay?!” King Boo snapped, his body turning a light pink. Luigi’s mouth worked soundlessly for a moment before he found his voice.

“W-well, I mean, if you want to, I guess that's okay.” he swallowed as King Boo immediately dropped the bottles with a clatter next to the tub, sorting through them to grab a green one that was labelled as ‘tropical citrus’ scented shampoo. Luigi moved back under the water, closing his eyes demurely to keep water from running into them as he was approached. There was a pop as King Boo opened the bottle, then the tell-tale squirt of the product. Luigi peeked when King Boo swore, and saw a big glob of shampoo on the ground before he shut his eyes again, snickering.

“Yeah, yeah, laugh it up,” King Boo muttered, rubbing his soapy arms together into a lather before digging into Luigi’s scalp. Luigi leaned forward like a pleased cat as King Boo proved to be an expert at getting deep down to his roots, scratching just right, and the citrus scent was refreshing. The conditioner went in just as well, King Boo using firm strokes to work it through Luigi’s loose curls and it washed out easily. Then King Boo backed off and started fumbling with bottles again. Luigi used his hands to wipe the water from his eyes enough to look at what the ghost was up to. When King Boo started coming back with a bottle of body wash, Luigi held up his hands to stop him.

“Hold on, you don’t just put that stuff on my skin like that!”

“What? Why not?”

“You’re supposed to use a loofah!”

“What the hell is a loofah?”

“It’s a little spongy thing, it lathers the soap for you, and it exfoliates!”

King Boo gave a frustrated growl, waving his fists in the air. “Why is bathing so difficult?! See, THIS is why I wouldn’t want a flesh body. How do you keep track of these asinine details?! I thought I was doing well remembering there’s different soap for body and hair.”

“Oh no, sorry, you’re doing fine. I guess I didn’t think about how you probably wouldn’t have to use any of this stuff if you didn’t want to. If you don’t have a loofah, then a washcloth will do.”

“Nah, there’s probably a loofah around here somewhere. Just stay put and relax, I’ll find it.” With that, King Boo floated through the divider wall and back to the cupboards. Luigi heard banging, clattering, and swearing. Resigned to this taking a while, Luigi scanned the room, and perked up to see a washcloth on the towel rack across the room.

“King Boo!”

“Hold on! It’s gotta be in here somewhere!”

“But there’s a washcloth-“

“You said loofah, and you’re getting a damn loofah! Whatever that is! I’ll figure it out!”

Luigi sighed and decided he was going to get the washcloth himself. He left the shower and went up the textured bathtub steps, gingerly stepping onto the tile floor. His feet were definitely sliding, but he still made his way over toward the towel rack and got about halfway before his feet slid completely out from under him. “AAAIII!” Luigi yelped as he fell backwards, but his shout was cut off when he was caught with his head about an inch from the floor. “Oh. Um, good catch.”

“Can I seriously not leave you alone for a second? Stop getting into trouble before I put a leash on you!” King Boo snapped. The ghost was holding Luigi with one arm behind the man’s neck. In his other hand he was holding a slightly moldy looking kitchen sponge.

“That’s not a loofah.” King Boo glared at the sponge, as though it was somehow the sponge’s fault that it was not, in fact, a loofah. The temperature of the room started to drop, and Luigi quickly began to shiver, teeth chattering as ghastly wails and screams echoed wildly through the bathroom. “I-I-IT’S FINE!” Luigi stuttered out, “J-j-j-just use the w-washcloth! It’s too c-cold…” Luigi sneezed, and abruptly the wails ceased and the temperature began to return to normal as King Boo threw the sponge aside with force and pressed an arm to Luigi’s forehead.

“Are you sick? You don’t feel hotter than normal.”

“I’m fine! Seriously, there’s a washcloth right there, let’s just use that, please?” Luigi begged, and at last King Boo relented. He pulled Luigi upright, helped him back into the shower, and then grabbed the black washcloth and the body wash. This one was strawberry scented, which sort of smelled weird with the citrus, but Luigi wasn’t going to complain. King Boo was finally soaping up his body from behind with the washcloth, and the gentle kneading on his back felt as wonderful as a massage. Luigi relaxed into the ghost’s touch as it traveled from his shoulders down his arms, then his sides. He then settled probably a bit too long on washing Luigi's ass, kneading and scrubbing thoroughly between his cheeks. The steady squeezing and massaging was clearly doing its job, and by the time King Boo abandoned his ass to reach around him and soap up his chest, Luigi was already twitching in interest again. Luigi hadn’t come this much in a long time, but here was getting hard again as King Boo moved down to his hips.

King Boo tsked in Luigi’s ear, flying around to his front to get a better look at Luigi’s problem. “Hey, if you come again right now, are you still going to be good to go when we reach the bedroom, or nah?”

“Um, p-probably not,” Luigi admitted reluctantly. King Boo looked disappointed, but nodded all the same, and kept his cleaning of Luigi’s dick clinical. Well, maybe he was a bit firmer than need be, but he couldn’t be expected to be completely cold toward one of his beloved’s best features. Still, since he knew he wouldn’t be touching Luigi the way he wanted until he was done washing him, King Boo made very quick work of the legs. He shut off the water, grabbed a big, fluffy towel, and before Luigi could blink he was swept up in a towel burrito. Head out one end, feet out the other. The Luigi-burrito was gathered up into King Boo’s arms and flown quickly out the bathroom door, which opened by itself. “Um, so where to now?” Luigi asked, squirming as King Boo picked up speed.

“Where else? I’m taking you to bed!” King Boo laughed. Seeing as Luigi’s erection was now straining against the towel, he couldn’t say he was against that idea. Therefore, Luigi snuggled up into King Boo’s body and enjoyed the ride. He was soothed by the promise of what would, hopefully, be the wildest sexual experience of his entire life. Or at least, he was going to get the chance to find out how Boos have sex, which he was getting pretty curious about. King Boo paused in front of the large statue of himself. Three gems gleamed in the statue’s extended tongue.

“Um? King Boo? It’s a very nice statue, but it’s not the bedroom I’m pretty sure.”

“Ha! Shows how little YOU know!” King Boo snorted. Then his body glowed, and the jeweled crown hovered off of his head and over to the empty slot on the tongue next to the other gems. It screwed itself into place, and the entire wall shook, the statue sliding aside to reveal a doorway. King Boo hurriedly flew Luigi over the threshold and they were in the bedroom at last.

This bedroom was definitely a testament to King Boo’s unique (and kind of gaudy) sense of style, far more so than the rest of the Master Suite. The floor was decked out in a deep, richly red carpet. The walls were layered in intricate, gold leaf wallpaper. The furniture was all darkly stained wood with golden handles. It was the bed that took up the focus of the room, being king-sized (obviously). It had a gorgeously carved headboard, and a wondrously plump, downy black comforter. If Luigi had been forced into this room with the intention of being kept there against his will forever he might have felt a bit ill, but given the circumstances, he found the soft surface very welcoming as he was lowered onto it with all the ceremony and delicacy of a virgin on her wedding day. Luigi’s heartbeat sped up, and his cheeks reddened as King Boo uncoiled the towel from around him. As he was unwrapped, left to shiver a little in the cool air of the bedroom, it suddenly hit Luigi all at once that this was happening. This was really happening. He was here, and King Boo was here, and they were going to have sex, and did King Boo think they were still getting married? Did Luigi actually have a problem with that? Since King Boo’s tongue had snuck out of his mouth and Luigi’s dick began to respond instantly like a trained dog, Luigi decided those were problems for Future Luigi to deal with.

“So how does this work?” Luigi asked, feeling a touch nervous. “I mean, I don’t mean to be rude, but you don’t have… I mean, I don’t see a, uh…?” Luigi made a vulgar gesture and King Boo let out a peal of ghastly laughter.

“Oh don’t worry about that, beloved.” King Boo leaned in to make sure Luigi was pushed firmly down on his back. “Just let me take care of you, and you’ll find out in due time. Mwah ha ha ha ha.”

“Oh god that’s turning me on. Why is your evil laugh turning me on?”

“You can’t help it, I’m just too irresistible. You were doomed to me the moment you caught my interest.” Luigi may have argued against that, except King Boo took the chance to envelop Luigi’s dick in his icy hand once again, and Luigi was left with no option but to arch his back, lewdly moaning out King Boo’s name to the ceiling. He could see the ceiling now, and found something there that was rather unexpected.

“That’s a mirror.” Luigi groaned as King Boo’s grip began to break out into light tingles. It was very distracting to watch himself in the mirror under such ministrations. Luigi had never seen himself in full starfish while getting pleasured before, and he was sort of surprised at how erotic it felt. It was like being his own voyeur. Luigi was so busy staring into his own sexed up expression that he didn’t notice King Boo’s approaching tongue until it was already running along his chest, nimbly lavishing each of his nipples with firm attention. Luigi writhed on the bed, reaching out with his hands to run them along the sides of King Boo’s tongue even as it lapped at his torso. King Boo suddenly spasmed above him, his touch giving off a burst of tingles that shook through Luigi’s body like a tremor. Luigi thought he had come, but the persistent ache in his groin corrected him. “W-what was that?” Luigi gasped.

“Uuuh… fuck.” King Boo groaned, pulled back his tongue despite Luigi’s sounds of protest. “Well, I was gonna draw this out more, but you had to get handsy.”

“Wait, did I turn you on?”

“Oh trust me, I was already turned on.” King Boo gave Luigi a smirk, “But I sure as hell can’t hold back anymore if you’re going to touch my tongue like _that_. Look what you’ve done to me.” King Boo floated up so that Luigi could see him, and Luigi propped himself up on his elbows. His eyes widened at the sight of King Boo’s lower half, which was glowing as though it was under a UV light. There was something else odd about it. Luigi found that staring at it made the backs of his eyes sore in a weird way, like wearing 3D glasses outside of the movie theater. Luigi was both fascinated and a touch uncomfortable, suddenly suspecting he might be observing the edge of a dimension his mortal eyes just weren’t designed to process.

“Is that what Boos have?” Luigi ventured. King Boo folded his arms and raised an eyebrow. “You know what I mean! Urgh, um, so how does it work? Can a Boo and a human even…?”

“Do you really think I would’ve gotten you this far if they couldn’t?”

“Well, I’ve never heard of a Boo and a human having sex before! I’ve never seen any movies, or even any books on the subject!”

King Boo snorted. “Of course not! This is completely new territory, no human’s ever fucked a Boo in Boo form!”

Luigi twitched a little. “What?! Then how do you know it’s possible?”

“Simple!” King Boo said with a wide grin, “Where there’s my will, there’s a way!”

“Um, I think it’s supposed to be _A_ will, not _MY_ will…”

“Wrong! Because we’re talking specifically about MY will! I want us to have sex, and so we’re going to figure it out!” King Boo pushed Luigi back against the bed again. “So, don’t you worry about a thing!” He winked, and Luigi worried about many things.

“How do two Boos do it then? Is it similar to humans?”

King Boo sighed deeply. “I can’t believe I have to have ‘the talk’ with my own fiancé.”

“Hey! Even in health class, Boo sex didn’t exactly come up!”

“We Boos interlock our nether regions and partake of each other’s pure energetic essence,” King Boo shrugged. “It’s pretty basic stuff. I figure I can just envelope your dick instead.”

Luigi made a face. “Would that even feel good?”

“Can’t know till we try it!”

“But what if… I don’t know, what if it dissolves my dick or something? This is totally untested!”

King Boo sucked in his bottom lip and Luigi saw his eyes flash red as a cool breeze blew through the room. However, as Luigi began to cringe backwards, King Boo seemed to swallow his rage, shaking himself enough that the air grew still again. He turned himself in mid-air as Luigi scrambled around to get onto his knees on the bed, left to view the full scope of King Boo’s nether region, that strange, blue, multi-dimensional static space. “Okay, let’s test it then.” 

“Test it?”

“Yeah, whatever will make you feel comfortable. For the record though, I’ve had solid objects in there before, and nothing bad happened.”

“Nothing…alive, though?”

"Nope!”

Luigi swallowed. He had to admit he was curious. And if this was safe, he did rather want to try. He’d come this far. Taking a deep breath, Luigi stretched out his hand and ran the tip of his index finger down the center of the glowing spot, from one end to the other, feeling the usual tingling he associated with touching ghosts. King Boo let out a hiss, shifting in mid-air, and in that shift Luigi’s finger slipped further inside. Suddenly it felt different, despite his finger only submerged to the second knuckle (and completely vanished from sight at that), the tingle spread up to Luigi’s elbow. The vibration became far more intense than the usual buzz of ghostly energy. It felt more raw, somehow. More present. Less like brushing up against something otherworldly, and more like becoming bizarrely melded with it. Luigi had a strange inclination toward pushing his finger in further, and followed it, pressing a couple more fingers inside and wiggling them in the space. King Boo let out a gasp and a grunt, somehow tightening down on Luigi’s fingers. It wasn’t quite like fleshy walls pressing in, but it was definitely pressured in there. Pressure and tingles, not really warm or cold. Maybe just a little further in...

“Jesus, are you… are you trying to _fist me_?! How much do you need to test? Stop that! I’m not coming till I’m on your dick!” King Boo’s outburst managed to startle Luigi out of whatever trace he had found himself in, and he pulled his hand out of the void so fast that there was an odd blue spark. His hand and forearm were left whole, but full of static, as if he had been lying on it for hours and it had fallen asleep. King Boo, on the other hand, had let out a wild scream and spun in mid-air several times over before he was left floating upside down like a dead fish. He blinked rapidly and held his arms around his stomach on either side of his glowing spot.

“Ow, ow, ow… I can’t believe you just ripped it out! Who _does_ that? You can’t just snap an energy connection!”

“S-sorry I didn’t know.” Luigi was shaking his arm and stretching his fingers to try to bring feeling back into them, with only marginal progress. “That felt, er, interesting? Until the end, anyway.”

“Interesting… heh… sure…” King Boo groaned as he flipped himself upright and held out his arms to Luigi’s. “Here, gimmie your hand. No, the other- the one that was in me! There.” King Boo took Luigi’s hand and began rubbing it gently. Bizarrely, it seemed to warm up in King Boo’s cold grip, and the static immediately began to die down.

“How are you doing that?”

“You were getting dosed with my energy, and then cut it off. So being near my energy again eases the worst of it and mends your connection with your own energy faster. It would have happened on its own eventually.” The two were quiet for the next couple of minutes until Luigi’s arm felt normal enough for King Boo to let go. Luigi sighed and looked glumly at his neglected penis. The poor thing had wilted in all the excitement, and he really wanted to see it perk up again.

“I know I kind of killed the mood back there,” Luigi admitted slowly, “But I still want to go all the way. Do you think you could try doing that thing with your tongue again?” After some evil laughter, and about thirty seconds of that thing with the tongue, Luigi was back to writhing on the bed, fully erect and very slippery. He looked up at King Boo with the most tempting expression the ghost had ever seen. If Luigi had looked up at the mirror in that moment, he would have been shocked to learn he possessed such bedroom eyes. But in that moment, he couldn’t take his eyes off the Boo that had so very successfully seduced him. It was time. King Boo lowered himself with all the purpose and steadiness of a surgeon lowering a scalpel. Luigi’s chest heaved, his pulse quickening in anticipation as his cock was slowly but surely engulfed. There was little resistance until Luigi bottomed out, only the curious sensation of vibration without cause. Then the pressure came in on all sides, and the tingles turned into a pulsing sensation that seemed to originate from both outside and _inside_ his erection at the same time. Although his dick was throbbing with abandon, Luigi couldn’t think about coming. It was too much sensation all at once to even consider it. And somehow it seemed to be spreading. King Boo hadn’t moved, and yet the tingles were spreading through Luigi’s crotch and back, looping around to his ass. Luigi gasped, then the tingling vibration plunged past his ring of muscle and deep inside his hole, trembling against parts of him he had not anticipated getting touched. But damn were they getting stimulated now, tickling his prostate and leaving his a panting mess. Luigi couldn’t speak for the next few minutes, which stretched to an eternity as his body fought to adjust to this alien force affecting it. With a groan, Luigi's eyes slit open and saw King Boo had a strange expression on his face.

“A-are you okay?” Luigi asked. King Boo had been just as silent as him, and neither of them were moving. There was a grunt. “I-is that a no?” Luigi still felt too much, but a little more distantly now. His brain was a touch less addled.

“Fine.” The word was said quickly, and didn’t really grant itself an air of honestly.

“We can stop if it’s not good."

“It’s _good_.” That sounded more truthful. Drawn out. Luigi tilted his head curiously.

“What does it feel like for you?”

Luigi heard King Boo lick his lips and shuddered at the sound before King Boo began to speak. “Hard to describe it to you. You’re not made of pure energy. When I do this with other Boos, it’s different. There’s more give and take. You can’t control the energy in your body. I feel _all_ of you. It’s like a feedback loop. I feel what you’re feeling, but also I feel the pressure and disruption in my energy field with you in it, and it’s a lot.”

Luigi felt so heavy on the bed, but so, so good. “Just feeling what I’m feeling is almost too much for me.” He paused. “Actually, it’s less now. I think it evened out. Now it feels mostly like I’ve got my dick in a vibrating vacuum tube.” King Boo burst into loud, hacking laughter. His whole body moved with it, and the friction around Luigi’s cock sent both of them into arching silent screams. Luigi recovered much fast this time. “I think I might be getting used to this.”

“Good for you, I think if I don’t come in the next five minutes, I might literally explode.”

“What even _happens_ when you come?”

“Why don’t I give you a firsthand experience?” Luigi could have screamed when King Boo summoned all his strength to push himself away from Luigi, until only the tip of his dick was inside of him, then slammed himself back down, hard. Then Luigi did scream when King Boo did it again a moment later, and again, and again, driving down Luigi’s erection like a butter churn. Each time Luigi bottomed out it felt like a mind fuck, and Luigi was being sent straight to the edge of insanity by the intensity. Luigi didn’t even realize his orgasm was coming until it was upon him, the shock of it shooting up his spine like an electric current, shaking him to his core. His seed shot up into the blue void, and even King Boo wouldn’t be able to say what became of it after that. King Boo’s face warped before Luigi's eyes, momentarily turning itself inwards as he flashed several colors in succession. His entire form blinked in and out of view, seeming to glitch around the edges. The room wasn’t left untouched by the ghost's wild emotions as a wave of spectral energy burst forth from him. First, everything around them that wasn't nailed down was blown out in a perfect circle, at though hit by a shock wave. The temperature of the room rose a few degrees, then cooled, and there were some strange rumbles of thunder and sparks in the far corners of the room. Finally, King Boo let out a very long wail that tapered into a quieter sigh. He slumped over Luigi like a rag doll, still connected, but in a subtler sense now. It wasn’t intense for Luigi anymore. It felt soft, natural. Now it was only a safe space for the two of them, a constant reassurance of the presence of another soul touching his.

For the second time that morning, Luigi heard King Boo snoring. He blinked up at himself in the mirror on the ceiling. Sweat shimmered on his forehead and nose, plastering his hair to his scalp and his mustache to his lip. King Boo was draped over him, slowly sinking into him, but strangely he didn’t feel cold anymore. He felt nice. Luigi figured he could let him nap for a bits. He rather hoped that Mario would be alright to wait a while longer. There was no way he would be able to resist a second round.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So ive thought a lot about it and i think there will be one more sex scene in the last chapter plus you know, relationship wrap up and stuff. So stay tuned.


	18. Happily Ever After

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And so we reach the end of our tale as old as time, Luigi and the Boo. It's been a wild ride.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to all my lovely commenters first of all. Without you I may have lost interest before this chapter went up. Maybe this chapter isn't much, but I move in 2 days and I wanted this finished and oooooh my god I'm so stressed out hahahahaha BUT! At least this story is finished, and the King Boo/Luigi ship has one completed multi-chaptered fic on ao3. It's not much, but here it is.

**18 Happily Ever After**

“We should go back downstairs.”

“I’m going to need clothes first.”

“Oh right, here.”

“But these are _MY_ clothes! You said you burned them all!”

“Alright, so I kept _one_ set in case I felt nostalgic later, sue me. Wait, are you crying?”

“I-I just missed overalls so much.”

*

King Boo and Luigi had, admittedly, probably spent far longer in the Master Suite than they had meant to. However, when they eventually emerged from the elevator in the lobby, King Boo’s arm comfortably wrapped around Luigi’s shoulders, they definitely didn’t expect to see everything looking so... frilly.

“What happened in here?” Luigi blinked owlishly and looked up at King Boo. “Are you doing this? Is this an illusion?”

“Listen, even in my wildest illusions, I wouldn’t be able to make this much pink.”

“Ah,” Luigi said with a knowing, solemn nod. “Must have been Peach.”

Indeed, while the lobby did not look as it did when Luigi and his family had first arrived at the Last Resort, the cobwebs and mildew from the past night were all gone and scrubbed away. The white tiles shone beneath the dotting of frilly pink rugs. Every table and counter top sported lacy pink tablecloths. The frayed curtains were replaced with new ones that were airy and, of course, pink yet again. Pink tapestries full of images of flowers, stars, and mushrooms hung from the ceiling, and everywhere were dozens of ghosts in new pink staff uniforms, busily tying bows, polishing furniture and cleaning windows. Amid so much pink, it actually took Luigi a minute to notice that Peach was, in fact, standing on the landing over top of the service counter, where King Boo as Helenus had first greeted them all. She was wearing a cute hard hat, and appeared to be looking over some sort of construction plan. What made Luigi let out a cry of shock, however, was the fact she was going over the plan with the imposing figure of Helen Gravely standing next to her.

“Oh _hell_ no!” King Boo snapped, flying from Luigi’s side up to the second floor landing and pointed a highly offended finger at both women. “Hey! I won this hotel fair and square, and I did NOT approve any of this pink stuff! Take it all down RIGHT NOW!” Peach and Helen both looked supremely unimpressed.

“Tough luck, you megalomaniacal backstabbing cream puff. Looks like I’m the big bad in charge again!” Helen said with a sneer.

“King Boo,” Peach said, picking her words with the precision of a seasoned politician, “While it is true that Helen Gravely invited you into her hotel with the intention of co-world conquest, it is the opinion of the Mushroom Kingdom that this was not, in fact, grounds for a hostile takeover of her establishment. In fact, due to your recent crimes against the Mushroom Kingdom, such as kidnapping its head of government, this would be good grounds for us to align with Helen Gravely to ensure her hotel is returned to her. It is mainly by my own personal investment in Luigi’s happiness that I’m not going into a full out war with you.”

King Boo’s eyes narrowed. “What if I _want_ a war?”

Peach folded his arms, narrowing her eyes right back. “Right now, about half the ghosts in this hotel are yours, half are Helen's, and most of the more powerful ones are Helen’s at that. Perhaps with you in the fray you would be an equal match, but with E. Gadd already working on a new Poltergust, I think you’ll find a war may not turn in your favor.” Peach spoke coolly, but then perked up with a smile. “Besides, I’m sure Luigi doesn’t want you to go to war, do you Luigi?”

Luigi had been climbing the stairs when Peach turned her big blue eyes onto him, drawing King Boo’s attention as well. “Uh, well, no. I would rather not. Does it really matter anyway? You never needed a whole hotel before anyway. Couldn’t you just, I don’t know, illusion up another haunted mansion?”

King Boo let out a long, drawn out groan during which he sank face first onto the floor, his body appearing to deflate in the style of a partially melted ball of gelatin. “I guess,” he finally muttered into the tile. Luigi and Peach had to lean in to make sure they heard him. King Boo lifted his face enough to shoot Peach one more suspicious look. “Why are you suddenly on that bitch’s side anyway? Is this one of those 'girls stick together' things?”

Helen sniffed. “Well, since YOU decided it was more important to fuck your boyfriend for eight hours straight, the Princess decided to address me in person to cut a deal. As much as I loathe to deal with the living, it was a fair deal, all things considered.”

“What kind of deal?” asked Luigi.

“Well, this hotel certainly has a lot of potential!” Peach smiled. “So, I made some calls, and I have purchased it on behalf of the Mushroom Kingdom. I’ll pay for the repairs, and I'm hiring on Helen and her staff to run everything as they see fit. Although I do get some input in the décor. In return, E. Gadd gets to set up a new lab in the basement to keep studying ghosts here, and I get to use the hotel as a personal vacation destination.”

“I don’t mind the décor, actually,” Helen admitted, giving a small smile to the lacy touches on the service desk below them. “A bit more cutesy than I would prefer, but still very decadent and royal. Maybe I should consider changing my look to match?”

“That doesn’t sound like you’re getting that much out of it.” King Boo floated off the floor and returned to Luigi’s side, still frowning at Peach. He was definitely sulking, but was being more functional about it.

“Well, there’s of course also the implication that if the Mushroom Kingdom is in need of any particular ghostly skills we may find help here.” Peach shrugged. “But that’s just politics, nothing to worry about, of course!”

“Admittedly, I wasn’t initially that keen on an alliance, but seeing as my darling Polterkitty had made such good friends with your little Polterpup, how could I deny that we could get along?”

“Friends?” Luigi asked, and then followed Helen’s pointing finger off into the far corner of the first floor, where some plump cushions had been set up. On these cushions lay Polterpup with Polterkitty lying half on top of him. They weren’t resting. In fact, they seemed to be fighting, if in a strange, lazy sort of way. The dog’s mouth was wide, repeatedly nibbling Polterkitty gently on the head and forepaws. Polterkitty responded with soft bats, and pushed herself into Polterpup’s mouth willingly. It was kind of weird, but they did in fact seem to be getting along. Luigi wasn’t sure he was feeling particularly comfortable with that but who was he to argue with the princess? He was jerked out of such doubts by the door to the restaurant opening, revealing Mario waltzing through it, shoving the last of a Panini in his mouth and brushing his hands off on his overalls. When he spotted Luigi, a huge smile broke over his face.

“Luigi! You’re back! Did you fall asleep again? I don’t blame you, sleeping for hours after the night you had. Glad to see you’re alright!” Mario hurried to his brother and pulled him into a fierce hug. Luigi hugged back with all he was worth.

“Uh, yeah! I _did_ fall asleep! Definitely did that at some point.” Luigi laughed awkwardly.

“Well that’s great!” Mario said sunnily before turning to Peach. “How about you? Got everything moving the way you want?”

“More or less, everyone should be alright moving forward from here without me.”

“What about your doggie, Polterpup? Is he still with that uh…?” Mario paused as Polterpup finally seemed to pick up Luigi’s scent. There was a yowl of feline protest, followed by a white beam of light that blew across the room and around Luigi several times before licking him all over the face.

“Ah! Good doggie! Good doggie!” Luigi laughed, snuggling the puppy. “You were such a good boy! Always there to help me out!”

“Yeah, sure, ‘ _help_ ’,” King Boo snorted. Polterpup’s ears pricked up and he turned to the giant Boo, suddenly uncomfortably close to his face. “Hey! What are you- H-HEY!” King Boo jerked backward as the dog was suddenly licking him frantically between his eyes. “Quit it!” The humans gathered around him started snickering. “Stop laughing! I’m being attacked!” Polterpup barked and went back to his assault as King Boo’s body puffed up. However, there was notably no temperature drop or weird color changes, so Luigi thought maybe he wasn’t as mad as he was acting. “You think your measly tongue can defeat ME? I’ll show you a REAL assault!” With that, King Boo’s tongue launched out and licked Polterpup’s entire ghostly body at once, leaving the dog shivering as glowing saliva dripped from its snout.

“Oh man,” Luigi snorted, pulling Polterpup carefully from the air to comfort the creature. “Yeah Mario, we got Polterpup!”

“Perfect!” Mario turned back to his brother. “Ready to go, then?”

“Go? Like, right now?” Luigi glanced at King Boo, who seemed to be twitching. “Why so soon? I thought this was supposed to be a vacation, we’ve only been here a day!”

Helen’s head cricked sharply to the left. “Frankly, as far as I’m concerned, you’ve already overstayed your welcome. If that _thing_ you call a boyfriend is still hovering around you, I don’t want you here.”

“And we’re going to respect that,” Peach nodded firmly. Luigi glumly hung his head.

“Aw, I’m never going to get a vacation.”

King Boo huffed. “You think _you’re_ disappointed? I’m technically homeless now! I don’t even know where to set up a new mansion, since my old ghosts put your house on the same spot as my old one.”

Luigi straightened abruptly, a blush painting his cheeks as he had an idea. It was a crazy idea. But the more he thought about it, the more he liked the sound of it. “Ah, well, about that.” Luigi turned to face King Boo fully. He didn’t want to see Mario’s face when he suggested this one. “It’s a very nice house, of course. But it’s rather large, and rather empty, and being so new it lacks some character. Maybe a good haunting is just what it needs!” Luigi tried not to look as Peach squealed, and there was a thud that, from the weight of it, sounded as though Mario had possibly fainted. King Boo, however, was looking at Luigi as though he had grown six heads.

“Are you seriously asking me to _haunt your house_?”

“Yes?” Luigi asked in a high voice, as though still unsure. Then he swallowed, and with more conviction he managed to speak at a normal register. “Yes. Yes I am.”

*

The bus ride home was both very similar, and yet very different from the trip to the hotel. Mario and Peach still chattered happily in the front of the bus. Blue Toad drove the bus, singing along to the radio while his Yellow and Red brothers napped in the sunlight streaming through the windows, bouncing lightly as they headed over the many hills. Luigi still sat in the back of the bus as before, Polterpup curled up in his lap. That much was the same. But the most obvious difference was King Boo sitting next to him. Oh, and all sixteen of his smaller Boo subjects filling the rest of the seats, staring out the windows with interest. Apparently none of them had ever actually ridden in a vehicle before, and this was a novel experience for them. While the smaller Boos looked fairly interested, however, King Boo seemed to be a little nauseous. His face was a light green, and he was leaning into Luigi pretty heavily.

“I didn’t expect you to get motion sick,” Luigi admitted, rubbing at King Boo’s back.

“It’s weird moving without doing it myself. Why the hell are there so many hills? This is stupid.” King Boo groaned and shut his eyes.

“Don’t worry, won’t be much longer now,” Luigi promised. And it wasn’t long. Soon enough, the hills became less steep and more rolling, spreading out into the wide green fields of the Mushroom Kingdom. The bus would eventually head all the way to the castle for the princess, her attendants and Mario. Before that, however, it climbed a familiar, winding driveway toward the massive three story mansion, decked out with creamy white stone and a suitable green roof, which Luigi called home. Or he had ever since his first defeat of King Boo anyway. His iconic L decorated the roof of the highest tower. Luigi smiled as he led King Boo and his fellows off the bus, waving goodbye to his family in the process. “Home sweet home!” 

“This is more impressive than I expected,” King Boo admitted. “I guess I understand why you didn’t want to stay in the hotel for eternity now.”

“Well, considering how much actual legal money you scattered around your original mansion, it wasn’t hard to pay for. Plus, there was a lot more reasons why I wouldn’t have wanted that. Anyway, like I said, this place is way too big for just me. So you may as well move in, right?”

“Yeah, I guess I can see haunting this place,” King Boo said with a shrug. “Master bedroom is mine and Luigi’s, everybody else pick your rooms!”

“Huh? Wait, but- oh whatever.” Luigi quickly gave up his protest as all sixteen Boos cheered and raced directly through the wood of his front door. They were followed by a loud, screaming chorus of ghostly whoops and hollers as the rest of King Boo’s ghosts (which had been following the bus in a large, swirling, ominous vortex) began pouring into the mansion through every wall and window. As they did, a fog gathered around the property, and the bright colors seemed to darken. The whole thing took on an eerie atmosphere, and Luigi wondered if maybe, just maybe, inviting King Boo to haunt his house was a mistake. It was possible that he didn’t fully think through the fact that King Boo came with such an expansive entourage. Then again, Polterpup looked rather excited about the company, turning circles and wagging his tail. He ran in and out of the front door, barking frantically for Luigi to follow. Luigi felt ice encircle his hand, and looked up at King Boo beside him. He looked a bit nervous, biting at his lip as they got to the front door.

“What’s wrong?” Luigi asked.

“I, um, I’m not used to being invited to haunt somewhere. Usually I illusion something, or wage a hostile takeover or whatever.”

“Didn’t Helen invite you to haunt her hotel?”

“Oh, yeah!” King Boo stroked his chin thoughtfully. “This still feels different, though.”

“Glad to hear that, I guess? So... are you ready to see _my_ master suite?” Luigi asked. He turned the doorknob to the beat of the deep, evil cackling that began warmly filling his ears.

*

~ _Some Extended Time Later_ ~

Luigi was lying on his emerald green bed spread in his matching green pajamas, idly flipping through pages of a massive catalog in front of him. He was so engrossed in circling things he liked that he didn’t notice the dark shadow slowly taking shape in the air behind him, lowering itself slowly as it became more solid and visible. Finally. King Boo extended his tongue and ran it boldly over the back of Luigi’s exposed neck. Luigi yelped as he face planted into his catalog, squirming around against the bed as the tongue left his neck and started in on his back, quickly making his nightshirt ride up. “King Boo! Stoooop!” Luigi broke into snickers as King Boo’s tongue dug into the side of his ribs and lightened its touch into a tickle. This gave Luigi leeway to flip himself over, though that left his stomach exposed to the merciless tickles. In desperation, Luigi grabbed the tongue and ran his fingers up the underside of it, which worked as a sure-fire way to leave the ghost a twitching mess. Now King Boo was the one left at Luigi’s mercy as the man ran his hands rapidly over his tongue, pulling on it in just the way he knew would drive the ghost crazy. King Boo was left quivering and panting, hanging in the air until Luigi finally let go with a knowing smirk.

King Boo huffed, brushing himself off once he managed to get a hold of himself. “Now, is that any way to treat your beloved fiancé when he brings you a gift?”

“If it’s anything like your last gift, I’d say it’s _exactly_ how to treat you,” Luigi smiled lazily, picking up his catalog again and pointing to a page so King Boo could see. “Which do you think is better, by the way? Roses are traditional, but I really like the hyacinths.”

King Boo hummed, squinting at the page for a second. “Eh, what about the chrysanthemums? Those are the best ones.”

“You’re just saying that because Peach said it when she was helping us landscape the garden last month. She meant in the context of the set up, they aren’t objectively the best flowers.”

King Boo scowled. “Well, which _are_ the best flowers, then? We should have those! We deserve only the best at our wedding!”

Luigi flipped the wedding catalog closed and shook his head as he set it aside. “There isn’t an objectively best kind of flower, it just matters what _we_ like best.”

“Which do _you_ like best, then?”

“I can’t decide, that’s why I was asking _you_!” Luigi sighed, falling back on the bed. He accepted King Boo nuzzling back down onto him, taking comfort in his cold presence.

“I don’t care about flowers, remember? Why not just get all of them?”

“That would probably look weird. I guess it doesn’t really matter as long as everyone has a good time, though.”

“But they should still envy us! They should quake in terror at the majesty before them at every moment!” King Boo burst into laughter as thunder rumbled around them. Luigi snorted.

“I’m sure everyone will be very impressed. Also, are all of your ghosts going to eat at the reception? Because we need to notify the caterer how much food we need.”

“Um, some of them might. But don’t forget, beloved, soon they will be _our_ ghosts.”

“Honestly they may as well be _ours_ now, given how they follow me around everywhere.”

“They can’t help it, they like your energy,” King Boo smiled. “I do, too.”

Luigi rubbed his neck. “So, you said you brought me something?”

“Hell yes!” King Boo grinned, his tongue lolling out again, this time wrapped around something. He offered it to Luigi, who took it with a quirked eyebrow. As expected, it was a new sex toy.

“Don’t we have one like this already?” Luigi waved the large, green dildo in front of him. It felt a little heavier than their other one, more unyielding maybe, but they definitely had one about this size and shape. King Boo tutted and leaned over, pressing a button Luigi hadn’t noticed and the whole thing began to pulse and vibrate. Luigi still didn’t look impressed. “The other one vibrates too.”

“That one only had three settings! This one has fifteen!”

“Well, that’s a little excessive, but I appreciate the thought. I wouldn’t mind trying it out.”

King Boo licked his lips and took the dildo back as Luigi offered it and shimmied out of his clothes as fast as possible. He swiftly tossed them aside and leaned back on the bed in his favorite position, taking a second to glance up at the mirror above him. It was the only thing he added to the room since King Boo moved in, and he certainly didn’t regret it. The ghost wasted no time in lavishing Luigi with his mighty tongue, first over his neck, his jugular, and then up and over his mouth where Luigi poked out his own tongue to taste one painting him. King Boo mostly tasted like licking a battery. Not as metallic, but still with that odd spark of electricity that made his mouth buzz a little. King Boo moved lower, encircling his nipples before pressing hard against them, making them nice and hard before moving down around his stomach and then to his growing cock. It was only a tease this time, and King Boo moved past it, tapping against Luigi’s thighs until he parted them. Then he tucked his tongue down deep into the cleft of Luigi’s ass, pressing up against his flexing, hot hole and undulating until Luigi was bucking into it, feeling the slick wetness seeping into his entrance.

The ghost drew back, eyes intense. “Now. Touch yourself, beloved.” Luigi could do little but nod as he reached down, his fingers easily bypassing his pucker. First one, then two and three. He couldn't get very deep, but he had been working his way up into bigger dildos for a while now, and he knew if he could get passed the entrance he would be okay if they went slow. When Luigi couldn’t do any more for himself, he pulled back and let King Boo in. First, there was icy cold as King Boo touched him with his arm, pressing in enough to make his entire ass numb. Then he drew back, and in contrast to the heat of the tongue and the cold of King Boo’s ghostly flesh, the fact the dildo against his ass felt so normal grounded Luigi back to the moment, back to the room, and the reality of his arousal. He suddenly smelled his own sweat, heard his own panting, and the rest of his attention focused itself on the ring of muscle that slowly but surely stretched itself around the dildo as King Boo slid it steadily into his ass.

“Doing okay?” King Boo asked, pausing once the dildo was about a third of the way in. Luigi hadn’t said much to that point, hardly breathing as he took the stretch and the twinges of pain that still bled through the fading numbness.

“Yeah,” Luigi managed, “I can take more.” King Boo nodded, running his free arm along the inside of Luigi’s thigh as he eased more of the dildo inside of him. At the halfway mark, it finally brushed Luigi’s prostate, which sent a bolt of pleasure rattling through him. Luigi’s moan was long and heaving, and King Boo seemed extremely pleased with himself.

“Seriously, you’re so lucky to be marrying me,” King Boo laughed, “Who could bring you more pleasure than this?” Luigi couldn’t imagine much more pleasure at the moment, as King Boo began to angle the dildo and properly fucked him with it, pushing a little more in at each thrust. Then, without warning, King Boo started the vibration and quickly turned it up a couple of notches to the fastest basic vibe pattern. Luigi hissed and thrashed, held down only by King Boo’s grip on his thigh as the dildo stilled, though the vibration remained. “Do you like that?” King Boo asked. Luigi nodded frantically. “I know you do, beloved. This reminds me of when you finally agreed to marry me.”

“W-which time?”

King Boo rolled his eyes. “The time you meant it, obviously. And if you can still talk, I’m definitely doing this wrong.” He changed the vibe pattern again so that it came in rising pulses, which at first seemed less intense but the constant waiting and payoff of the more intense sensations just seemed to drawn more of Luigi’s focus to it. He fell silent again as the dildo slipped in to its furthest point, and King Boo let go for the moment, taking the time to view his lover with so much inside him. It was a pretty picture, definitely. “Yeah, you looked a lot like this, I think,” King Boo smiled. “So overcome with passion you were begging for me to put a ring on it, ha!”

Luigi planted his feet in the mattress to gain some traction and lifted his ass in the air, squeezing around the dildo as he wiggled his ass. “A-are you serious? You literally told me you wouldn’t get me off if I didn’t agree to marry you!”

“Hey! As if I didn’t lead you in here with a trail of rose petals, a glass of wine, and my beautiful body beckoning you in.” King Boo ran his arms over his sides and shot Luigi a sultry look. “You knew full well what was coming.”

“You literally gave me a cock ring and called it an engagement ring.”

“That was a joke, I gave you a real one too!”

If Luigi’s face wasn’t already red from effort of holding his ass up to tempt his annoying fiancé he would have blushed. “Well, I’m already marrying you, so can you please fuck me properly?”

King Boo grabbed Luigi’s legs and gently forced Luigi’s ass back down to the bed. “Stay down there like the pillow princess you are. and maybe.” Luigi’s pulse sped up as King Boo reached for the dildo again, but was left wanting as the ghost only tapped it a couple times before running his hand delicately up the side of Luigi’s weeping erection.

“Aw, come on!”

“Patience, love, you know I’ll take care of you, always.” King Boo’s voice deepened and echoed, leaving Luigi shaking as he finally gripped the base of the dildo again and began pulling it out before slamming it back in, rocking Luigi’s entire body as he did it again and again. Luigi’s eyes rolled back to the ceiling, his tongue spilling out of his mouth as he gasped for air. He watched himself in the mirror, taking in his debauched appearance gratefully as it felt like his fiancé was taking a sledgehammer to his prostate, and somehow was loving every minute of it. At last, the building pleasure reach its crescendo, and Luigi cried out as his erection erupted between the two of them, soiling the bed sheets while King Boo skillfully withdrew the toy. He carelessly tossed it to one side, having served its purpose. Even as Luigi came down from his high, King Boo was already lapping up the remains from his thighs, his ass, and his stomach. Luigi shuddered at the over-stimulation, but King Boo was efficient, and it wasn’t long before even that had passed.

“You’re right,” said Luigi.

“About what?”

“Being lucky to marry you.” Luigi smiled. “Though, I think I’m lucky for more reasons than just the sex. Which is great, don’t get me wrong.”

“There’s more?” King Boo blinked, then abandoned all notion of personal space as his extremely wild, feral grin was suddenly the only thing in Luigi’s field of vision. “I command you to tell me _everything_!”

Luigi should have expected this, egomaniac that his fiancé was. “Well, you’re never boring, that’s for sure.”

“That’s true! No one’s more interesting than me!” King Boo preened.

“And I suppose I’m lucky to have a fiancé I can beat at Mariokart.” King Boo frowned and pushed Luigi over, leaving the man giggling like a child as the ghost sulked. “And… I’m pretty lucky my fiancé has such a cute smile.”

King Boo’s eyebrows rose, his grin tugging its way back onto his face. “Yeah?”

Luigi smiled back, pressing his lips to those of his ghost. “Yeah.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, thanks to everyone who commented on this story! Y'all are great. 
> 
> This chapter was supposed to end when they entered the house, but well... I felt bad that nothing went up Luigi's ass in the Master Suite so I wanted to try to make up for that. They aren't husbands yet, but they will be.
> 
> I just didn't want to write a wedding it took me all day to write this and I really need to pack tomorrow since I move the day after and I've packed NOTHING I'm so fucked whoops.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed the ride, and if you REALLY liked it... please write your own King Boo/Luigi fic. Please. I beg you. One shots, multichapters, PVP, PWP, fluff, good, bad, ugly, crack, I DONT CARE! I just want more to read... please... if you really liked this fic... please write more... I beg you. Cheer me up.
> 
> Anyway I'm gonna walk my dog. Bye till next time!


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